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General Parenting
uncomfortable talk and scary actions
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 450238" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>You've gotten a lot of good advice from several perspectives. Be cautious and diligent, but try not to overreact. (Dolls in my house never had clothes after the first hour of being brought in. If it's ONLY the dolls to me it's really not a big deal, but definitely opens the door to conversations about people)</p><p></p><p>There was something you wrote that had me equally, if not more, concerned.</p><p></p><p></p><p>If you used those words, YOU. MUST. STOP. NOW. Let me explain. I am 100% certain that you did not mean it literally at all. It was an idiom. I know that, you know that, as your PCs get older they will probably learn that naturally. Your difficult children, not so much, ESPECIALLY since they have ASDs. Firstly while yelling such a thing is supposed to put the fear of g*d into them, and let them know you are serious and they don't even want to know what the real consequences may be, kids on the spectrum take things more literally and may believe that you are going to ACTUALLY take off his head and essentially kill him. This is the kind of fear and stress that needs to be minimized especially with difficult children, and especially if there is a history of abuse. Secondly, this puts more into perspective a previous post you made where difficult child 1 said he was going to poke his sibling's eyes out. Well, in his mind, that is not as bad a threat of tearing a head off, and Mommy says stuff like that all the time, so I guess it's OK for me to say it too. But, you may say, that he actually acts on his threats. Yes, that may be, but he's a child, with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and doesn't fully understand that you won't really act out on your threat either. He might be fearfully waiting for the day it may really happen.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 450238, member: 11965"] You've gotten a lot of good advice from several perspectives. Be cautious and diligent, but try not to overreact. (Dolls in my house never had clothes after the first hour of being brought in. If it's ONLY the dolls to me it's really not a big deal, but definitely opens the door to conversations about people) There was something you wrote that had me equally, if not more, concerned. If you used those words, YOU. MUST. STOP. NOW. Let me explain. I am 100% certain that you did not mean it literally at all. It was an idiom. I know that, you know that, as your PCs get older they will probably learn that naturally. Your difficult children, not so much, ESPECIALLY since they have ASDs. Firstly while yelling such a thing is supposed to put the fear of g*d into them, and let them know you are serious and they don't even want to know what the real consequences may be, kids on the spectrum take things more literally and may believe that you are going to ACTUALLY take off his head and essentially kill him. This is the kind of fear and stress that needs to be minimized especially with difficult children, and especially if there is a history of abuse. Secondly, this puts more into perspective a previous post you made where difficult child 1 said he was going to poke his sibling's eyes out. Well, in his mind, that is not as bad a threat of tearing a head off, and Mommy says stuff like that all the time, so I guess it's OK for me to say it too. But, you may say, that he actually acts on his threats. Yes, that may be, but he's a child, with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and doesn't fully understand that you won't really act out on your threat either. He might be fearfully waiting for the day it may really happen. [/QUOTE]
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