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uncomfortable talk and scary actions
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<blockquote data-quote="Free Kittens" data-source="post: 450744" data-attributes="member: 12521"><p>Hi Liahona</p><p></p><p>whew you have a plate full!</p><p></p><p>I don't know if your boy has been abused or not. In either case the best best best thing you can do is to be VERY non-judgemental. My daughter was abused by her bio dad and yes, when it is your own kid, it is DIFFERENT. I had to bite my tongue my cheek and my lips! Make a concerted effort to have routine, naturally occurring if possible, talks about bodies and how to keep them safe. Emphasize that he would never be the bad one in that kind of situation, it is always the adult. No matter how hard (and this will be hard) try not to give any clue to your disgust of the father. Being nuetral in this sense will go the furthest in helping a child who is being abused to disclose. Make sure that you cover, more than once, that no matter what ANYONE, dad included says, the child will never be in trouble for telling.</p><p></p><p>Bio dad had already been investigated once and charges dropped and custody resumed with my daughter before she was even verbal. I made a point to change her clothes just before viasitation with me was over and I would reveiw 'safe touch' (keep in mind that the little's ones body might have experienced the abuse as pleasurable). I would reveiw the no fault and not in trouble concepts. Interestingly, the topic that prompted my daughter to disclose (she was 3) was child pornography. I have no idea where I came up with that but I added 'and no one is to take pictures of you without your clothes on' and she reacted intensely with guilt, poor baby. She discllosed everything the next week and DFS stepped in.</p><p></p><p>I know that dread as a mom, that 'oh no it couldn't be'.Try to get past that and focus on current and future safety for all the kiddo's.</p><p></p><p>Hang tough Momma</p><p>Free Kittens</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Free Kittens, post: 450744, member: 12521"] Hi Liahona whew you have a plate full! I don't know if your boy has been abused or not. In either case the best best best thing you can do is to be VERY non-judgemental. My daughter was abused by her bio dad and yes, when it is your own kid, it is DIFFERENT. I had to bite my tongue my cheek and my lips! Make a concerted effort to have routine, naturally occurring if possible, talks about bodies and how to keep them safe. Emphasize that he would never be the bad one in that kind of situation, it is always the adult. No matter how hard (and this will be hard) try not to give any clue to your disgust of the father. Being nuetral in this sense will go the furthest in helping a child who is being abused to disclose. Make sure that you cover, more than once, that no matter what ANYONE, dad included says, the child will never be in trouble for telling. Bio dad had already been investigated once and charges dropped and custody resumed with my daughter before she was even verbal. I made a point to change her clothes just before viasitation with me was over and I would reveiw 'safe touch' (keep in mind that the little's ones body might have experienced the abuse as pleasurable). I would reveiw the no fault and not in trouble concepts. Interestingly, the topic that prompted my daughter to disclose (she was 3) was child pornography. I have no idea where I came up with that but I added 'and no one is to take pictures of you without your clothes on' and she reacted intensely with guilt, poor baby. She discllosed everything the next week and DFS stepped in. I know that dread as a mom, that 'oh no it couldn't be'.Try to get past that and focus on current and future safety for all the kiddo's. Hang tough Momma Free Kittens [/QUOTE]
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