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Unconditional love?
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 653300" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>It's such a double edged sword dealing with a Difficult Child. They demand to be an adult and do whatever they want, the "you can't tell me what to do" attitude and then they "need" something and they revert to being a helpless child. Then you go to help them and it's never good enough.</p><p></p><p>You have done so much to help your son and it has been met with resistance. I do not think you were out of line at all to request that he be cleaned up so you could take him out for his birthday dinner.</p><p></p><p>His reaction and responses to you remind me of my son. It all sounds so familiar. They do love their pity parties.</p><p></p><p>You know, I've said it before, I will always have hope that someday my son as well as all the other Difficult Child out there will wake up and decide to turn their lives around, to live as a responsible, productive part of society. I'm also a realist and know that may never happen. I also know that I have to accept the fact that my son is going to live his life the way he wants to.</p><p></p><p>As for "normal" that just isn't part of the equation for our Difficult Child but that doesn't have to be the same for us. When I decided to take my life back and detach from my son my life started becoming more "normal".</p><p></p><p>It's my hope that when you go to pick him up for dinner that he will have enough respect for you, if not himself, to clean up. I hope that you will be able to have a nice dinner.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 653300, member: 18516"] It's such a double edged sword dealing with a Difficult Child. They demand to be an adult and do whatever they want, the "you can't tell me what to do" attitude and then they "need" something and they revert to being a helpless child. Then you go to help them and it's never good enough. You have done so much to help your son and it has been met with resistance. I do not think you were out of line at all to request that he be cleaned up so you could take him out for his birthday dinner. His reaction and responses to you remind me of my son. It all sounds so familiar. They do love their pity parties. You know, I've said it before, I will always have hope that someday my son as well as all the other Difficult Child out there will wake up and decide to turn their lives around, to live as a responsible, productive part of society. I'm also a realist and know that may never happen. I also know that I have to accept the fact that my son is going to live his life the way he wants to. As for "normal" that just isn't part of the equation for our Difficult Child but that doesn't have to be the same for us. When I decided to take my life back and detach from my son my life started becoming more "normal". It's my hope that when you go to pick him up for dinner that he will have enough respect for you, if not himself, to clean up. I hope that you will be able to have a nice dinner. [/QUOTE]
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