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General Parenting
Underage Drinking
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<blockquote data-quote="ready2run" data-source="post: 570987" data-attributes="member: 11339"><p>I can not condone under age drinking but i don't think the drinking itself is the issue here. i mean, yeah it's wrong but most kids do it and it seems to be a normal right of passage for teens nowadays just as it was when i was a teen. where i live the legal drinking age is 18 and it is common for 17 yo's to drink and have it overlooked. i'd probably focus on the disfunctional way she is running her relationship with her boyfriend and trying to teach her that drinking should be in celebration not to mask negative feelings. negative feelings need to be worked through, not drowned out so she will need to learn to face them and figure out what she can do to keep from repeating the same issues again and again. she needs to also learn that her relationship is unhealthy and why. it might be a good idea to encourage her (when she is done being grounded) to have better friends come to the house to hang out so you can supervise. in order for that to work you will need to make it fun and comfortable for them to make your house 'the' place to be and try to come off as open minded, ect to her friends so they will feel comfortable opening up to you about things that maybe she wouldn't. this seems to work for me. mind you, my oldest is only 14 but her friends think i am 'totally awesome' so they would rather hang out here and i don't criticize them or chastise them when they tell me things which lets them feel comfortable coming to me about things they don't tell their own parents about. i do offer them advice from my own experiences though. my daughter doesn't like this too much but so far it works for me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ready2run, post: 570987, member: 11339"] I can not condone under age drinking but i don't think the drinking itself is the issue here. i mean, yeah it's wrong but most kids do it and it seems to be a normal right of passage for teens nowadays just as it was when i was a teen. where i live the legal drinking age is 18 and it is common for 17 yo's to drink and have it overlooked. i'd probably focus on the disfunctional way she is running her relationship with her boyfriend and trying to teach her that drinking should be in celebration not to mask negative feelings. negative feelings need to be worked through, not drowned out so she will need to learn to face them and figure out what she can do to keep from repeating the same issues again and again. she needs to also learn that her relationship is unhealthy and why. it might be a good idea to encourage her (when she is done being grounded) to have better friends come to the house to hang out so you can supervise. in order for that to work you will need to make it fun and comfortable for them to make your house 'the' place to be and try to come off as open minded, ect to her friends so they will feel comfortable opening up to you about things that maybe she wouldn't. this seems to work for me. mind you, my oldest is only 14 but her friends think i am 'totally awesome' so they would rather hang out here and i don't criticize them or chastise them when they tell me things which lets them feel comfortable coming to me about things they don't tell their own parents about. i do offer them advice from my own experiences though. my daughter doesn't like this too much but so far it works for me. [/QUOTE]
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