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Understanding???
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 540888" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome! I hope you find some solace and an understanding of what we are up to here. Another angle you might consider is that for those of us who grew up with mental illness or behavioral disorders and not only took that behavior personally, tried to fix it, felt guilty we didn't have it and any number of negative reactions to an undiagnosed sibling or parent, learning of a label was an incredible relief. It was not my fault! There was a reason for that bizarre behavior and I couldn't fix it. It offered understanding and compassion. It helped me to heal.</p><p></p><p>For my siblings, a diagnosis, a label, gave them hope that they were really okay, that it was an illness that make them 'different' it wasn't something they could help. They could let go of shame and guilt. There was a reason. </p><p></p><p>I get what you're saying and there certainly is the other side of the coin where kids are labeled and then the label is all they are. However, there are also positives as well, as others have pointed out. </p><p></p><p>This site soothes the wounded hearts of the parents who are struggling, every single day, with difficult children. It provides support, nurturing, information, clarity, understanding and perhaps most important, the feeling that we're not alone, that there are others out there who can truly feel empathy. It gives us strength and courage to face what each of us has to face. It offers hope where there wasn't any. It gives us truth when we find it hard to face the truth. It gives us a safe place to vent and rail against a system which doesn't 'get' our kids and sometimes actually harms them. It offers 'like minded souls' who can hold our hands as we go through the toughest times. For some of us, it's the only place we have to get seen and heard. </p><p></p><p>I'm glad you overcame your childhood hardships and learned to see the whole truth of who you are. Your experience will likely dictate that your children will not suffer the way you did, you will make sure of that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 540888, member: 13542"] Welcome! I hope you find some solace and an understanding of what we are up to here. Another angle you might consider is that for those of us who grew up with mental illness or behavioral disorders and not only took that behavior personally, tried to fix it, felt guilty we didn't have it and any number of negative reactions to an undiagnosed sibling or parent, learning of a label was an incredible relief. It was not my fault! There was a reason for that bizarre behavior and I couldn't fix it. It offered understanding and compassion. It helped me to heal. For my siblings, a diagnosis, a label, gave them hope that they were really okay, that it was an illness that make them 'different' it wasn't something they could help. They could let go of shame and guilt. There was a reason. I get what you're saying and there certainly is the other side of the coin where kids are labeled and then the label is all they are. However, there are also positives as well, as others have pointed out. This site soothes the wounded hearts of the parents who are struggling, every single day, with difficult children. It provides support, nurturing, information, clarity, understanding and perhaps most important, the feeling that we're not alone, that there are others out there who can truly feel empathy. It gives us strength and courage to face what each of us has to face. It offers hope where there wasn't any. It gives us truth when we find it hard to face the truth. It gives us a safe place to vent and rail against a system which doesn't 'get' our kids and sometimes actually harms them. It offers 'like minded souls' who can hold our hands as we go through the toughest times. For some of us, it's the only place we have to get seen and heard. I'm glad you overcame your childhood hardships and learned to see the whole truth of who you are. Your experience will likely dictate that your children will not suffer the way you did, you will make sure of that. [/QUOTE]
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