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Underwear weirdness, sneaking and hoarding
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<blockquote data-quote="ML" data-source="post: 79200"><p>I hesitated to share this. This is one aspect of difficult child's complexity that most of our society is even less tolerant of than other forms of MI.</p><p></p><p>In your son's case, Terry, my guess is that it is tied in with Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) as Marg suggested. He probably likes the feeling of the fabric against his skin. </p><p></p><p>My son has also horded stuff in his room but it's lessened greatly over the years. </p><p></p><p>My son has struggled with some gender identity issues. He always has, from the time he was about 4. He said that he wished he had been a girl. When we would do our play acting games he wanted to be the princess instead of the king, stuff like that. Though I was extremely concerned, I decided to support him with unconditional love and allow him his desired from of expression. I would also tell him about society's expectations and suggest to him that his choices might be difficult. He has a chestful of playclothes for his "acting". He has done it much less over time. Now on occasion he and his girlfriend will play and dress up (and fight over who gets to wear the good stuff lol) Over the years I've struggled with worry over just about every aspect of my son's development. I have agnoized over the future, his ability to succeed in life (and my definitions of success are pretty liberal).</p><p></p><p>About a year ago I asked him if he still wanted to be a girl and he said "no, I like having a penis but sometimes I like acting like a girl". So along the spectrum of things I felt better. I just want him to be comfortable in his own skin and the rest will take care of itself (by the grace of God). I have learned a lot about this stuff. Sexual orientation vs gender identification are two separate things. I'm sure my son is/will be hetero because of the crushes he has on girls. He loves them so much he wants to be like them I guess. In some ways it would be easier if he were "just gay" because that's so much simpler and identifiable.</p><p></p><p>Having this child teaches me on a daily basis how to love without conditions. It has been and continues to be a rough ride.</p><p></p><p>Terry I think you are doing an amazing job with your son. Just keep loving him and advocating for him. He just sounds confused and in pain. From what I have read of your situation, you are doing everything you can.</p><p></p><p>MicheleL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ML, post: 79200"] I hesitated to share this. This is one aspect of difficult child's complexity that most of our society is even less tolerant of than other forms of MI. In your son's case, Terry, my guess is that it is tied in with Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) as Marg suggested. He probably likes the feeling of the fabric against his skin. My son has also horded stuff in his room but it's lessened greatly over the years. My son has struggled with some gender identity issues. He always has, from the time he was about 4. He said that he wished he had been a girl. When we would do our play acting games he wanted to be the princess instead of the king, stuff like that. Though I was extremely concerned, I decided to support him with unconditional love and allow him his desired from of expression. I would also tell him about society's expectations and suggest to him that his choices might be difficult. He has a chestful of playclothes for his "acting". He has done it much less over time. Now on occasion he and his girlfriend will play and dress up (and fight over who gets to wear the good stuff lol) Over the years I've struggled with worry over just about every aspect of my son's development. I have agnoized over the future, his ability to succeed in life (and my definitions of success are pretty liberal). About a year ago I asked him if he still wanted to be a girl and he said "no, I like having a penis but sometimes I like acting like a girl". So along the spectrum of things I felt better. I just want him to be comfortable in his own skin and the rest will take care of itself (by the grace of God). I have learned a lot about this stuff. Sexual orientation vs gender identification are two separate things. I'm sure my son is/will be hetero because of the crushes he has on girls. He loves them so much he wants to be like them I guess. In some ways it would be easier if he were "just gay" because that's so much simpler and identifiable. Having this child teaches me on a daily basis how to love without conditions. It has been and continues to be a rough ride. Terry I think you are doing an amazing job with your son. Just keep loving him and advocating for him. He just sounds confused and in pain. From what I have read of your situation, you are doing everything you can. MicheleL [/QUOTE]
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