I really hope I am wrong. Difficult child's bank statement came to our house today. Looking at the last two week's June the amounts he it taking out looks just like his bank statement when he was using. I don't know if it was the right thing to do but I went ahead and called the rehab he went to and asked if they know if they drug test at the house he is in. I'm not sure if they do. Normally people leave the house after the 6 month program and the drug testing happens when they go to the Center for the outpatient treatment. He had permission to stay beyond the 6 months and wanted to come back home in the middle of August. My husband and I both have thought that it is a matter of time before he relapses. While the center and the halfway house have been happy with him since he is very passive and will go along with pretty much anything he doesn't really actively do anything to help himself. He only ever went to the bare min NA meetings, never got a sponsor and has completely stopped going to any meetings.. With his social anxiety it was very difficult to get him to look for a job. (Thank god he eventually did get one.) I think the one thing he did pick up from going to rehab is that he did start working out a lot to help him with stress.
Wednesday I dragged my husband to an alanon meeting which I think was a good thing. We went a few times after he overdosed and then stopped going. The stress level has been amping up with the thought of him coming home. I am glad we went to the alanon meeting. I think it would be hard for most people to understand but I am sojealous of the people who talk about how wonderful their child is when they aren't using. I am almost 100% certain there is something else wrong with my son. There can be a sweet side to son but he is very very quiet it is very hard to have a two way conversation with him. Thank god for my husband who can draw him into a conversation about his few interests. My husband thinks I should start reading Science Fiction, skateboarding, and snowboarding so that its easier for me to talk to him. Sigh with my arthritis skateboarding and snowboarding sound like death and it is so hard for me to get into his type of books.
Everything with my son coming back has been difficult. In June he lost his wallet thankfully it was returned and then in July he managed to lose his Drivers license and it hasn't shown up. The airlines have said he needs a police report in order to fly home. Difficult Child didn't respond to the text about going to the police station. Neither my husband nor myself can see him going to the police station by himself. My husband has started talking about difficult child taking a train but the train looks as though if the conductor decides to check for your ID and you don't have acceptable ID they can kick you off. ( I read online you are more likely to have your ID checked if you look questionable. Difficult child has started wearing what I consider almost crazy clown sweat pants. When we visited in December the other housemates indicated that is what he has become known for. I think he could easily get singled out for ID check.) Husband is reluctantly considering driving down to get difficult child.
On top of everything else I was laid off from my job July 6th. So either I will be home trying not to castrophize (sp?) everything difficult child does when he comes home or I will have the stress of a new job with no available time off for the circus he will bring when he comes home. I wish I could be more confident that everything will be great when difficult child comes home. He had been clean since he overdosed in October and he did mange to find a job that he has kept since February. There have been positive things but it hasn't felt as though there has been real change.
Wednesday I dragged my husband to an alanon meeting which I think was a good thing. We went a few times after he overdosed and then stopped going. The stress level has been amping up with the thought of him coming home. I am glad we went to the alanon meeting. I think it would be hard for most people to understand but I am sojealous of the people who talk about how wonderful their child is when they aren't using. I am almost 100% certain there is something else wrong with my son. There can be a sweet side to son but he is very very quiet it is very hard to have a two way conversation with him. Thank god for my husband who can draw him into a conversation about his few interests. My husband thinks I should start reading Science Fiction, skateboarding, and snowboarding so that its easier for me to talk to him. Sigh with my arthritis skateboarding and snowboarding sound like death and it is so hard for me to get into his type of books.
Everything with my son coming back has been difficult. In June he lost his wallet thankfully it was returned and then in July he managed to lose his Drivers license and it hasn't shown up. The airlines have said he needs a police report in order to fly home. Difficult Child didn't respond to the text about going to the police station. Neither my husband nor myself can see him going to the police station by himself. My husband has started talking about difficult child taking a train but the train looks as though if the conductor decides to check for your ID and you don't have acceptable ID they can kick you off. ( I read online you are more likely to have your ID checked if you look questionable. Difficult child has started wearing what I consider almost crazy clown sweat pants. When we visited in December the other housemates indicated that is what he has become known for. I think he could easily get singled out for ID check.) Husband is reluctantly considering driving down to get difficult child.
On top of everything else I was laid off from my job July 6th. So either I will be home trying not to castrophize (sp?) everything difficult child does when he comes home or I will have the stress of a new job with no available time off for the circus he will bring when he comes home. I wish I could be more confident that everything will be great when difficult child comes home. He had been clean since he overdosed in October and he did mange to find a job that he has kept since February. There have been positive things but it hasn't felt as though there has been real change.