Unintentional Defiance?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Kilted Lass, May 2, 2014.

  1. Kilted Lass

    Kilted Lass New Member

    I just got done with another marathon yelling session that once again I'm surprised CPS is not at my door.

    i don't know how to get through to my 8 year old. He was diagnosed with ADHD-ODD. i don't believe he has ADHD, he does too well in school and is "normal". At home he's the complete opposite.

    But here's where I instantly lose my cool, and this is a classic example of what I call his manic moments.

    I'm in the middle of draining our pool. Both he and his 6yo brother have been told repeatedly not to go in the pool. I don't want the plaster cracked, and the water that's still in it is foul. They both went in it, I go out there to tell them to get out, they were told not to go in. They instantly go into squirrely mode, racing around, yelling, and refusing to come out. They know I won't go in due to my arthritis, its hard to get down the steps when there's no water. So I'm at a standstill, and they know it. i begin to take things away (they were supposed to be going out tonight for a treat). They honestly don't give a damn. So finally after me yelling at them they finally get out and proceed to run around the pool. i tell them to stop, it's dangerous to run around an empty pool. Their reaction is to run faster and play "catch me if you can". It escalates to dangerous levels and I'm beyond livid, wanting to just smack them. I finally get ahold of them and throw them in their rooms. 8yo will eventually come out all sad and "I'm sorry mom" and act all pitiful. But when i try to talk to them and explain why I got mad, what they did wrong, etc, he goes off into his own little world and gets all squirrely again. He's put himself in dangerous positions so many times, and my desperately yelling STOP at him before he's hit by a car, falls into the pool, etc, is viewed by him as some big joke. It's like he just honestly doesn't get it.

    And i HATE where I'm ending up emotionally. I end up getting so irate I say things i seriously regret. I feel like i've done all the chore charts, reward systems, various types of punishments/consequences, etc, to no avail. He just doesn't care.

    I feel like I'm at the end of my rope.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Has he always been this way? Has a neuropsychologist ever evaluated him? Has anyone?
  3. Kilted Lass

    Kilted Lass New Member

    No he hasn't had an evaluation. I honestly don't even know where to start to get one. We have Kaiser, so everything is in-house. He's been to a therapist who did nothing for us. He was diagnosis-d as ADHD-ODD off my answers on a questionnaire and one office visit to go over said questionnaire.

    We've had issues since day 1 with him. Very hyperactive, impulsive, but always did well in school. None of his teachers ever believe me when i tell them what he's like at home. Never had any issues at school, all i hear is how great a student he is.

    He's a good kid, smart, an old soul. He just gets into these modes where he's either trying to hurt his brother, or he's hyper-squirrel mode and doesn't hear a damn thing.

    Do I just go to his pediatrician and say I want a neuropsychologist evaluation?
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    That's what I would do. It's a good start.
  5. Confused

    Confused Guest

    My son has also been diagnosed ADHD/ sleep issues... by a questionnaire (by Neurologist watching him and talking with him at the appointment )

    Hmmm, he does need further testing, yes talk to his pediatrician, I wish you luck.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Sounds like more than just ADHD/ODD to me from experience here.

    Go to a neuropsychologist. Neurologists do not normally do this sort of diagnostic testing in depth. Also, how long ago was that? He needs an updated thorough evaluation that takes hours and includes every facet of his person.

    Good luck.