difficult child 1 is great at trying to manipulate people in terms of effort. In terms of technique, she's painting in water colors - its obvious and easy to see the paper underneath. In the past, she's tried to get me to buy her a car by starting the coversation with "So-and-so said she heard you saying something about buying us (her and her husband) a car, but I knew they weren't telling the truth. I just wanted to make sure you knew what they were saying behind your back." Read as "I'm too chicken to come out and ask you to buy me a car because I know you're going to laugh your off at me. But there's no harm in planting a seed of an idea and see if you bite." She brought up the subject of buying her a house with "easy child posted a status update, something about buying her a house. What's up with that?" Read as "I want to make sure I'm speaking to you this week so when you go out buying houses, I get mine." (The status update was an inside joke in reference to the car conversation. easy child said if I bought difficult child a car, I had to buy her a house because she's the "good kid" and thus warranted a bigger reward than anything difficult child 1 got. Even now, easy child will send me pictures of elaborate mansions with captions like "I think this is the one you should buy me when you finally go off the deep end.") Last night, however, I just had to laugh at difficult child 1's latest attempt. Keep in mind, I stopped speaking to difficult child 1 long ago. I've seen her once in the last year and a half, when she stopped here to get her ID. She tries, usually right around the holidays, to start a conversation under the guise of "I miss you. I love you, Mom. I'm sorry I'm a bad kid." when all she really wants is a spot on the gift list, to borrow money, to find out what the rest of the family is saying about her (and thus not putting her on their gift lists,) or whatever it is she needs/wants this week/month/season. I guess she's figured out that the apology messages don't work, so she's trying something more creative. I log into Facebook and see a status update from her. (As I've said before, we - the family - only keep her on there for the evidence she so easily gives us that keeps the grandbaby safe at my sister in law's.) In between status updates of party plans, general "my life sucks" whining, and other petty stuff, this strange status update shows: "Not a dam 1 of yal kno y she did wht she did. so unless u do, u have no ryt 2 say a thing ab her. she is a wonderful mother & she is jus tryin 2 teach me ilyher!" I had to read it two or three times to understand what she was trying to say. If text message-style status updates give you a headache (they do for me) then here's the translation: "Not a **** one of ya'll know why she did what she did. So unless you do, you have no right to say a thing about her. She is a wonderful mother and she is just trying to teach me." I couldn't understand what she was talking about. It was completely random. Apparently, her friends didn't get it either. They asked what in the world she was talking about, so I knew it wasn't a "real" response to anything anyone had said - at least not on FB. She explained in later comments that she was talking about me. Oh, I think to myself. I get it now. She's hoping I'll respond out of curiousity to find out what "other people" are saying about me that's so awful. Ha! I gotta give her credit for creativity. Definitely a more unique approach than "I love you, Mom. I'm sorry" since that's obviously not working. I think she must have me mistaken for one of her pals. Us grown ups don't bite the "people are saying horrid things about you" drama hook. Especially not in such a public place as Facebook. But I had to laugh and share. I've lost my place (for this week) as the Demon Mother of Doom. I'm now, apparently, Saint Mom again...until she sees she's not on the gift list again this year. lol. Is it wrong that I find this kind of stuff humorous? Shouldn't I feel horrible that my difficult child 1 is trying soooo hard to get me to speak to her and I'm laughing instead? Nah. It's too comical not to laugh. Does she REALLY think people fall for this ****?