Unreal email

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by carolanne, Feb 26, 2007.

  1. carolanne

    carolanne Member

    I didn't call gfgd group home....thanks to all the advice on that subject....

    I opened my email today however to the biggest shock/insult I have ever read...

    Her boyfriend sent me the following " you are a :censored2:. You will be nothing but a :censored2:. You need to be raped with a chair and have your head cut off with hedge clippers. You need to die several deaths over so that Jessa can go on in this world knowing you are no longer in it. You subtract from the beauty of this world living each day in it. Much is to be had with your demise and burning of theat putrid, horrid body. Your children should all be removed so you do not violate them in the manner you did her. A nail through each eye as you breathe would not be enough pain inflicted on you. Only the death of you or that little boy you hold so much higher than Jessa would be a nth of repayment for your poor pitiful excuse of parenting. May you rot until judgement day and be thrown in the firey pits of hell."

    This was sent through her account early today....I am in shock...I really don't know what to do, how to respond....I certainly won't dignify it with a reply...

    Carolanne :crying:

    my apologies if this offended anyone, as that was not my intent. I posted the email word for word as I received it. If I had edited the letter, it would not have made sense and I am only trying to figure out how to deal with this incident.

  2. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    My God. That is horrific. I'd report it to the police right away, try to get a restraining order. What a sicko.

    You have my sympathy and prayers.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Do you have any ability to have them held accountable for threats or harassment? I think I would at least think about filing some sort of charges against someone for communicating threats. If nothing else does she have a psychiatrist that you could forward this garbage to so he can see what she is spewing?

    Other than that, I think I would block her email account or change my email account to a new one and not allow her to know what it is.
  4. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I would cut off all ties with both of them. How dare he say those things to you. I would definatley make the police aware of it and ask them what you should do, then change your email and don't give it to either of them. If this is the type of person your daughter wishes to be spending time with, then I would have nothing to do with her.
    I can't even imagine how this made you feel. What a sick distorted mind he has. I think the only thing I would do is forward the email to where she is living so they can see what kind of person she is chosing to have a relationship with.
  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Carolanne, there are several things you can do like the others suggested.

    Report it to the group home.

    Report it to the ISP provider your daughter uses for her email.

    And definitely report it to the police. This idiot probably even signed his name. A threat is a threat is a threat. Ask the police what else you can do to protect yourself against this lunatic. :grrr:

  6. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style="color: #660000">save it to disc for preservation purposes. then print out a paper copy & take that to the police & file a harassment complaint....ask if you have enough for a restraining order. ask the police to notify her psychiatrist & the group home ~~~ don't you violate the non contact order they've given you.

    any more emails like this notify the police.

    kris </span>
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Contacting the ISP is a great idea!

    I didnt even think about that. You could very well get their internet privileges revoked for sending out filth like that.
  8. Loris

    Loris New Member

    I agree with all of the above. I hope you get something done to make them accountable, that is truly sick. I am so sorry you're dealing with this.
  9. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Oh my gosh! I'm in shock!

    I'm so very sorry. What an horrible thing to find in your email.

    Do all the of the above. ISP, police, etc.

  10. carolanne

    carolanne Member

    I've contacted the police who should be here in a little bit. I've also contacted the home and forwarded the email to them...their response? Well, it's harmless as it's not being carried through on and we don't have a computer here so we can't keep an eye on what is written and by who and we also don't like to tell the girls who live here who they can and can't see....morons!

    At one point, this idiot had posted some of the same comments to her myspace site but I noticed they have been removed and she is now sending me emails asking what I am talking about....

    I've cancelled her email account(it was part of my internet package) and blocked his...

    She doesn't have a psychiatrist/therapist/new age twit etc... Her last psychiatrist said there wasn't anything really wrong with her, just abnormal teen cycles....does that make sense??????

    Her last email, about ten mins ago said she will call tonight to arrange to pick up her roller blades and ice skates...like bull pucky! Those things are going straight into the donation bin tonight...

  11. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I've also contacted the home and forwarded the email to them...their response? Well, it's harmless as it's not being carried through on and we don't have a computer here </div></div>

    Carolanne, if they don't have a computer, who did you forward the email to? :confused:

    Don't do anything else until the police get there. I'd hate for you to inadvertently be removing/changing evidence.

  12. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    There's a charge in Ontario called "Uttering a death threat" (I know this because my brother was charged years ago when sister in law's ex starting messing with the family). It is a crime to threaten someone in Ontario.
    Not only should you print out the email but also the detailed properties/return path:
    *Click on "File" at the top of the email
    *Scroll down & click on "properties"
    *Click on the "details" tab
    *highlight & copy the return-path info all the way to the bottom, paste into a word doctor and print out.
    ***Save that original email & return path info until told by both the police & ISP provider that it is no longer needed as evidence***
  13. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: carolanne</div><div class="ubbcode-body">... it's harmless as it's not being carried through on ... </div></div>That is just asinine. Threats are not harmless. When it's "being carried through on" it's already too late.
  14. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    terroristic threats...that is my thoght on the appropriate charge. I would most definitely give it to the cops.

    stay away from your daughter. it seems to only bring you further pain.
  15. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Ca I know it may be different here in the states, But what kind of place is this???
    They don't care who your daughter is around, they don't care that you are getting threatening e-mails??
    And is she allowed to leave whenever she wants to come home and pick-up her skates??
    And there is not a person in charge you can sit down and talk with about what is happening??
  16. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    Oh, good point, Hearthope.

    Carolanne, I cannot imagine what it would feel like to read something like that ~ directed toward me ~ when I opened my own e mail. You must feel so dirtied and traumatized and hurt.

    How are you taking care of yourself through this? It is important that you journal through the feelings, or see a therapist, or find some other way of clearing that nastiness away.

    Daughter will need to learn that you cannot be intimidated any longer ~ even if she does have a twisted little man with a poor vocabulary and bad spelling skills write you nasty e mails.

    What a piece of work HE must be!

    If you post here about the feelings attending this piece of trash e mail, I think it will help you come through it in one piece ~ and that is what we are all about, here.

    Surviving our children's problems intact.

    Sending strength and wishing well, Carolanne.

  17. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I can't believe the group homes response. That amazes me!!! No wonder why she's not getting any better there.
  18. carolanne

    carolanne Member

    I had the police here for about an hour last night and had my computer on as they requested when gfgd boyfriend sent an instant message....my account is set to private so the only way he had it was gfgd...and it was just as ugly as his email...I let the police officer read it and they copied it over to their laptop....boyfriend is being charged wtih uttering a death threat not only against me but against my two yr old son as well.

    According to the officer, they have had several run-ins with this boy....they have also had two visits with gfgd for truancy and mischief(throwing condoms and personal lubricant bottles into a mall foodcourt)...no charges against her but next time she won't be so lucky.

    I am also having a restraining order against both of them and the home....it's gone a long way with the police that I have honored a verbal agreement not to visit, send letters or call(thank goodness I took all your advice on that one ladies!)...the order will include protecttion for my other two daughters as well...

    The officer told me that sometimes you have to play hardball with your own kids in order for them to get the message that you have to be a decent person to get along in this world. He went on to say that his own son left home at 15 and made his life as a dad and an officer a living you know what for a long time....until son got thrown in jail for burglary and dad didn't help out that time. He said it took a while but his son finally "woke up" and is now a good guy with his own landscaping business....

    This officer seemed so nice and caring....he stayed for a while after coming back and letting me know boyfriend was picked up and we chatted for a bit. It really helped that he willingly listened and let me cry....

  19. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Excellent results! :bravo:

  20. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style="color: #336666">great job, carolanne!! you handled that beautifully. i'm glad this cretin has been picked up. hope they can hold on to him.

    restraining orders against everyone involved....including the home certaily sounds like the way to go.

    please stay on your guard. difficult child could very well come after you & the kids because of what's happened to boyfriend. make sure you keep your cell handy.

    kris </span>