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Unsettling realizations of Sammys future
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 109861" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Wow, Dara........I have to say that Sammy reminds me in many ways of my son Matthew. He is still does not have an accurate diagnosis, to this day. I am just now realizing how bordeline AS he is..........but, no one has ever really approached me about this until his last phosph visit..........despite being neuropsyche tested 3 separate times in his life! There has been a NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) diagnosis, but he still did not fit their criteria as AS. Same with the BiPolar (BP) diagnosis, that took us 12 years to get, despite me knowing it in my gut since he was 2. </p><p></p><p>I have just tried to lead my life with Matt as if I am the expert, because he fits no mold that any dr has every described. Often it makes me feel as if he is so ill, that no one has ever even seen a child like him - but other times - especially as of late - I just know that Matthew fits no mold, because he is Matthew. He is a combo of many different illnesses, but not one completely.</p><p></p><p>My mom is always asking me, gee, I wonder what goes on in his mind - and I say, well, just look in his room. His room is a pit from hades........and no matter how many times we organize it, or clean it - give it one day and it is like a tornado. I really believe this is a reflection of his brain. There are few linear thoughts in his little head - most of them are a tangent of creative outbursts, sometimes firing, sometimes misfiring. Like Sammy, he is super smart, very creative, very musical........but prone to tangents, manipulations, and a deep rooted anger. </p><p></p><p>At Sammy's age he loved to scream cuss words, over and over. It was maddening. Was it because he was mad, or because he made everyone else mad, it was hard to tell? I still have vivid memories of the looks on people's faces.</p><p></p><p>Just thinking of ya tonight, and wanted to let you know I understand. I am so glad you had a good night.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 109861, member: 3301"] Wow, Dara........I have to say that Sammy reminds me in many ways of my son Matthew. He is still does not have an accurate diagnosis, to this day. I am just now realizing how bordeline AS he is..........but, no one has ever really approached me about this until his last phosph visit..........despite being neuropsyche tested 3 separate times in his life! There has been a NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) diagnosis, but he still did not fit their criteria as AS. Same with the BiPolar (BP) diagnosis, that took us 12 years to get, despite me knowing it in my gut since he was 2. I have just tried to lead my life with Matt as if I am the expert, because he fits no mold that any dr has every described. Often it makes me feel as if he is so ill, that no one has ever even seen a child like him - but other times - especially as of late - I just know that Matthew fits no mold, because he is Matthew. He is a combo of many different illnesses, but not one completely. My mom is always asking me, gee, I wonder what goes on in his mind - and I say, well, just look in his room. His room is a pit from hades........and no matter how many times we organize it, or clean it - give it one day and it is like a tornado. I really believe this is a reflection of his brain. There are few linear thoughts in his little head - most of them are a tangent of creative outbursts, sometimes firing, sometimes misfiring. Like Sammy, he is super smart, very creative, very musical........but prone to tangents, manipulations, and a deep rooted anger. At Sammy's age he loved to scream cuss words, over and over. It was maddening. Was it because he was mad, or because he made everyone else mad, it was hard to tell? I still have vivid memories of the looks on people's faces. Just thinking of ya tonight, and wanted to let you know I understand. I am so glad you had a good night. [/QUOTE]
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