Up and down and unpredictable ... maybe we need to crack down more often

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Apr 29, 2012.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So, the last cpl wks, difficult child was HORRID!

    He's doing much better this weekend.r

    Turns out he was sneaking nachos at school, ate an ENTIRE pizza at home (I told husband not to keep buying them. Next time I see one in the freezer, it goes outside or to the neighbor's) and was very sleep deprived.
    Threatened to take away his cell ph and THAT did the trick.

    Also, he was gaming way too much, and arguing with-his girlfriend. I think he has two gfs. I heard him say "I love you, A" on the ph the other day and his girlfriend is N ... so he's got a heavy load to carry there ...

    Anyway, I locked down the cord, only allowed him to go to his friends' house for 1-1/2 hrs, made him go to baseball even though I knew it would be rained out, etc. I think I'm doing better this weekend because I finished with-most of my cousin's dr appts (VERY time consuming) and did not have to fly to MN (My dad, who has Alzheimer's, is in a final stage, got kicked out of assisted living, and my little sister took him home. Another sister flew there, and the two of them got into physical altercations with-Dad and little sis finally decided that Dad being strapped down in the psychiatric ward wasn't a bad idea after all, so they can do a medication wash).
    In short, I can focus more on difficult child now and not be so fragmented.

    Friday: difficult child washed his urine-soaked comforter. Yay!
    Yesterday: difficult child shaved!!! Woo hoo!
    Today: He swallowed a huge, horse pill sized omega 3. Double woo hoo! We are starting him back on it. Can't find the tiny ones any more so I just bribed him with-15 min of gaming. :)

    Next week: catch up on homework ... lots of after school help.

    Thanks for all of your support, all of you! husband is tired of talking about difficult child so I'm glad to have all of you.
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    You sure have a lot on your table. While I am glad you don't have to go to MN, I do sympathize with your sisters. Dealing with someone with Alzheimer's is like having a 2yo who is 6ft tall and furious much of the time.

    I hope that whatever is going on with P is better now after the doctor visits. I also hope that your sister can know that she truly did her best and that having him in the hospital is truly better for everyone, incl your dad.
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Wow, Terry, and your still sane?!? LOL

    Take a deep breath and a nice warm bubble bath, a glass of wine, and a GOOD movie under a warm fuzzy blanket next to the fireplace. Sounds relaxing huh? THAT will completely refill your tanks.

    Praying and pretzeling that difficult child stays on the right path???......
  4. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Good luck on the homework next week and so glad your other stresses are easing up just a bit. Hopefully difficult child will continue to be good. I know that when something is going on with me the difficult children sense it and act out. When I'm o.k. they are o.k.
  5. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    Although I haven't been around to support you lately, I often think about you. There were many, many times, in fact, way too many times to count, that the support I got here was the only support I truly had. Like your husband, mine didn't want to hear about all the "garbage" at home. I have a close friend I confided in but she has only easy child's, and as hard as she tried to understand, it's impossible to know what it's like raising difficult children day in day out, not knowing what to expect, sometimes from minute to minute.

    I'm sorry about your dad, but glad that your sisters are helping out with him. My father's mother had alzheimer's too, but I was young at the time and the bulk of the burden of caring for her didn't fall on me. You have enough to deal with without having to have full responsibility for your dad's care too!!

    It's nice to hear that your difficult child is doing well:D. Hoping this continues... SFR
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you all!
    Liahona, I think you're right about our difficult children picking up on our vibes.

    I blew it yesterday ... we went to difficult child's friend's house and the friend was not there. The g-ma said she hadn't seen difficult child all day. I was ready to blow a gasket. difficult child didn't answer his phone. The other friend he was with didn't answer his phone, either. You can imagine how my mind was zinging all over the place.
    The gpa gave us directions to the park, and finally, difficult child called, using his friend's phone. (Good. Now I have that cell ph #)
    The park is a dead end on both sides, so you have to go way out of your way to drive around it. Argh.

    difficult child could not say where he was. I told him to read me a house number. He repeated that he would meet us at a certain street. After 4 go-rounds, I screamed at him on the ph, "If you don't tell me where you are right now, I'm calling the police!":highvoltage:

    I don't know if I'm more upset that difficult child went AWOL, or that he seriously had no idea where he was. During a calmer moment, I am going to take him for a walk and teach him how to read house #s and pay attention to street signs. He's 15, for Pete's sake!

    We finally found him (we found his friends, who said he was looking for us, and round and round the park we went. We finally just stayed in one spot) and he was HOT. Turned out that I had set him off by telling him that I was calling the police.
    "I did not say I had called them. I said that if you didn't tell me where you were, I would call them. It sounded to us like you were deliberately being vague because you were doing something you weren't supposed to be doing."

    "I TOLD you I didn't KNOW where I WAS!!!"
    We went out to dinner and he stewed in the car for 20, and finally came in. (If we leave him alone, it usually works. He called husband on his cell and husband met him at the door. He sure doesn't like to go any place alone.)

    So, all is well. For now.

    And I have a good grip on that gma, too. She said she hadn't seen him all day because "We went to church and then to WalMart." She implied that the whole famiy had gone, but K, one of the boys, told us that only the youngest one had gone with-her. She was totally clueless and couldn't think outside the box at all. :rolleyes:
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Wow, I would have been frantic. That is exactly how Q would have reacted to the police comment and his behavior gets much much worse. That is why I go to a park or somewhere away from the house so he can just sit quietly or walk and calm. It is the only thing that works. Needs to silence the brain or let the stress chemicals return to normal (for him) or whatever....

    Glad he was able to turn it around and eat with you guys. I hadn't though to say specifically if you are lost this is how you read a street sign etc. He always notices streets and usually can direct any of us to things but I wont assume, I am going to do the same. Thanks for that idea.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Yes, planning and preparation are good. It's amazing the things our kids don't know. And they're so smart! Scares me.

    What if it were a REAL emergency?