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<blockquote data-quote="Doglady" data-source="post: 721221" data-attributes="member: 22273"><p>Somewhere out there, I hear you - we are somewhere on that journey. We kicked her out. She has an apartment; we still get adoption assistance for her for another 7ish months so the agreement was that I would use that to pay for her apartment until it runs out, then she's on her own. She has a horrible history of abuse and was in foster care for 14 years, so some days the tough love is extra hard but it's getting easier. </p><p></p><p>I called her back to get it over with. She said she messed up and slept through her appointments. I asked her what she's been doing for the past week. She said cooking and cleaning "normal stuff Mom, hope you're not mad at me." I told her I am mad, because she made no effort to reschedule. She said she couldn't find the number and tried to call me for it (I had no voicemails or anything). I told her that was bullsh*t and she hung up on me. Later she texted me a long sob thing about me not trusting her (i don't) and that I am just giving up on her. She is very good at trying to tug the heartstrings. She also texted me a screen shot of her call records with a call out to me that day. Great. But right before that was a missed call from her doctor AND her checking her voicemail, which was from her doctor. (!!) really??</p><p></p><p> I responded with a text and said "what I am calling BS on is you trying to reschedule and not being able to find your doctor's number. you had a missed call and a voicemail from her. if you don't want to go be honest."</p><p></p><p>I wasn't thrilled with myself for saying it was BS but the outcome is fine. I am so sick of excuses. I don't want to hear them anymore. Even when she went to inpatient she made a huge deal about how she was making this huge sacrifice and doing it for me and my husband. I told her repeatedly that was not the reason to do it and not to go if that was the point, because it wouldn't do anything for her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Doglady, post: 721221, member: 22273"] Somewhere out there, I hear you - we are somewhere on that journey. We kicked her out. She has an apartment; we still get adoption assistance for her for another 7ish months so the agreement was that I would use that to pay for her apartment until it runs out, then she's on her own. She has a horrible history of abuse and was in foster care for 14 years, so some days the tough love is extra hard but it's getting easier. I called her back to get it over with. She said she messed up and slept through her appointments. I asked her what she's been doing for the past week. She said cooking and cleaning "normal stuff Mom, hope you're not mad at me." I told her I am mad, because she made no effort to reschedule. She said she couldn't find the number and tried to call me for it (I had no voicemails or anything). I told her that was bullsh*t and she hung up on me. Later she texted me a long sob thing about me not trusting her (i don't) and that I am just giving up on her. She is very good at trying to tug the heartstrings. She also texted me a screen shot of her call records with a call out to me that day. Great. But right before that was a missed call from her doctor AND her checking her voicemail, which was from her doctor. (!!) really?? I responded with a text and said "what I am calling BS on is you trying to reschedule and not being able to find your doctor's number. you had a missed call and a voicemail from her. if you don't want to go be honest." I wasn't thrilled with myself for saying it was BS but the outcome is fine. I am so sick of excuses. I don't want to hear them anymore. Even when she went to inpatient she made a huge deal about how she was making this huge sacrifice and doing it for me and my husband. I told her repeatedly that was not the reason to do it and not to go if that was the point, because it wouldn't do anything for her. [/QUOTE]
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