Update/bead rattle/finger crossing request

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Mattsmom277, Dec 12, 2007.

  1. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Hi all. I have been horrible about posting since difficult child moved home last year. I've just had alot on my plate. To update most importantly on difficult child, he is still remarkably doing well. It is just over a year since he moved back home after nearly 18months with him out of the house. He is now 14 (wow! i joined this board when he was 6!!!!), 6'2 (and a half LOL) and wears a mans size 13 shoe! He is in grade 9 and passing his classes. His grades are a bare minimum for passing BUT he is attending, he has had ZERO issues with behaviour at school and does homework without fights. He hates school beyond normal kids hating school. He is struggling with his essential tremors in his hands and his gross and fine motor delays are increasingly a problem. He has been working this semester towards convincing me to homeschool him starting next semester and proving he is capable of homeschooling (self starting, allowing me to help, organization, time management, committment etc). He is turning into one heck of an amazing young man. He is so darn intelligent (and not just because I'm his mom LOL) and the normal school setting is not for him. If it weren't for his history of behaviour issues, he'd be in some type of gifted program. He doesnt' fit the normal mold for how most kids learn. I really believe that homeschooling is going to be the right choice for him. He is very excited about it and actually it turns out he ENJOYS learning! He just hates the setting and ways of teaching/methods of the classroom. We have been patterning ourselves to find the way that he enjoys learning in a way I can be helpful in the process and it is bonding us closer and this kids brain just amazes me. I'm so incredibly proud of him. He is laughing all of the time. Has next to zero anger issues (who'd have thunk it????? The kid who whipped tv's at people???).
    So there's the difficult child update. I cannot believe that I can still continue to post positive posts re: difficult child this long into things. I thought after a honeymoon phase he would have reverted to old difficult child ways. There are a few typical teen things, but they are typical and not even worth typing about, that's how typical they are.
    easy child is doing awesome. She is 8 now. In her 3rd season of hockey. Blossoming. Straight A's at school. Happy go lucky and content.
    Now for the bead rattling/cross fingers portion. So many of you know I have a current diagnosis of "probable MS" and have been struggling. I expect at my new neurologist vist on Jan. that the offical diagnosis will come down. Actually I've already been told it will. So MS it is. Fun (not!). I only about a month ago started improving after a over 2 month period of the worst relapse thus far. I was really struggling not only physically but emotionally as the reality of the unknown future loomed over me like a dark cloud. I really had to recognize my own limitations, learn how to ask for help or support in different ways. Leaning on others is hard for me, made more difficult since I don't really have people to lean on. At about the same time as I was going back into this relapse, I began dating someone. I was terrified for personal reasons (lack of trust in men, faith in relationships, doubt in my own ability to judge good from not good people etc) to date again, but even more so because i really felt like a bum deal, damaged goods. MS isn't fatal but it can be devestating. Then again some people do remarkably well. The uncertainty however can drive one crazy. At that time I was struggling so much physically that I really wasn't in a frame of mind to see that I can't count my chickens, I can't predict my future health so why dread it?
    Anyhow, so I had started dating someone and all this was going on. What a huge thing to throw at a newly involved couple! What turned out to be a fear of mine (that my medical stuff would impede a relationship etc) actually forced both him and I to see each other for who we are, what we really want, what we can expect from each other etc. I have never felt so understood, so accepted for who I am. He just rolls with it. When I couldn't walk or do things, he'd just bring me tea, throw on a movie, roll with it, adapt our plans without batting an eye. No animosity, no sense of loss from him because my health impeded things etc. So many times his unflappable manner has helped me just :censored2: and get off the pot. I feel very blessed to have found him. A hilarious side note re: him. After all I've been through with my difficult child, with my struggles in the past with anxiety and PTSD and depression etc ... I am not involved with, get this, a behaviour therapist for a psychiatric hospital (HAHAHAHAHA). Thought some of you would get a kick out of that. Any of you who remember my mommy dearest stories (re: my bipolar mother) will appreciate the humor in the fact that I told him he will NEVER meet my mother ;).
    So anyhow, this past Friday my ear hurts a bit. By Saturday morning I'm at a walk in clinic in so much pain and my face is swelling, my ear is nearly closed up. I had a ear infection that spread into the nerves along the entire left side of my face (from eye, down cheek into my jaw, teeth hurt even). By 4a.m. I was at the E.R. and my ear was completely closed and I had zero hearing, my face was swelling. More treatment and sent home with warning on when I should return and if it came to that I'd be admitted. By 11p.m. I was back at E.R. and was admitted to hospital within about 20 minutes of my arrival. Was on I.V. steroids, 2 IV antibiotics and morphine. I can't explain the pain. Due to confusion between my family doctor and the ENT specialist via my chart at the nurse's station, I was released when I shouldn't have been. I am now home (not sure for how long) on oral antibiotics and ear drops. I am not worsening, nor am I improving. I still cannot hear out of my left ear. Still in pain. Thankfully the time on IV medications DID help me improve enough that I am not going out of my mind in agony, although the pain is pretty horrible. Since release however I am staying the same. So a re-admission may happen. I will see the ENT tomorrow and see what he thinks I should do. The infection is also in my glands (prada gland? Never even heard of it before???).
    So I'm asking you all here to please cross some fingers. I have only had a few weeks feeling physically better after 2 months or so of hell medically. Christmas is around the corner and I haven't even shopped, I hadn't been well enough and just as I was feeling better and could have started, this hit. I can't handle air on my ear so I am housebound at this time. I just want to be pain free, be able to HEAR, and be able to enjoy a nice quiet Christmas with my children. We've all had such a strange year of ups and downs. My MS thing has been hard on the kids this year, and last christmas was flaring up badly and dampered the holidays. I am emotionally invested in making this holiday a special time of just good feelings for me and the kids. It is just super important to me.
    I thank you all on the Christmas card exchange list for the cards that have started to arrive this week. I just recieved Star's card yesterday with the list of all of your addresses. I plan to spend this evening addressing and writing up all of your cards and will mail them or have someone else mail them, tomorrow. I apologize if some of you in really southern US don't get them before the 25th. Mail crawls from Canada to the US this close to Christmas. In the meantime, my fridge is rapidly filling up with the cards from all of you. I love the card exchange tradition!!!!
    I hope that you all have a peaceful and happy holiday, wether you celebrate Christmas or not. I wish you all great things in 2008! I can't believe I've been on this board for so many years. Even when I'm unable to be active on the board, which has happened several times, I always know you are all here. And I do read every few days minimum even if I don't post. I like to know how my board peeps are doing :wink:
    Thanx in advance for any positive vibes!

    Melissa
     
  2. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I'm so happy to hear yet more great updates on difficult child. I'm even more happy to hear about your new beaux.

    I will keep you in my thoughts and send good vibes that you are feeling better for Christmas. I had a very similar ear infection this past summer - my ear and face swelled, I was on antibiotic eardrops with-steroids, plus oral antibiotics and vicodin for pain which barely even touched it. They were giving me two more days before they admitted me for IV antibiotics as I was already on the strongest oral antibiotic they had and on the final day I finally started to see some improvement. So, I have an idea of the kind of pain you're in. It's horrendous. I figured out that it was the steroids in the eardrops that were making it worse. I was reacting to the steroids. The pharmacist said that less than 1% of people do, but that seems to be how I am on medications. I'm that less than 1%. :hammer: I quit using them and that's when it started to get better.

    Chronic health issues really take their toll. I don't know about you, but I can deal with the pain and fatigue. It's the not knowing that gets to me.

    Take care of you and I'll keep you in my thoughts and assume the pretzel position.

    :gingerbread:
     
  3. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    :doctor: Yes - The Prada Gland. THAT'S the gland that few women know they have until they are ridiculously smitten with an overwhelming urge to buy a handbag or purse. I have that same problem.

    WHOLEY SMOKE GIRL! But Bravo on dating a BEHAVIOR THERAPIST???? Sweet molasses - Someone was looking out for your prayers. Maybe you'd like to pass that little tid bit on so everyone that has a creature for a S/O can get a nice man. Musta been some strong kneeling. And he sounds so nice - I think I'll call him ROLLO. Since he just rolls with it.

    Tell Matt from Aunti Star how proud I am of his accomplishments. I posted not too long ago that my self esteem really took a beating when I was in school due to teachers that lacked the ability to teach or explain the lesson in more than one way. I also do not learn things conventionally. There are 4 basic ways people learn and combos of those ways. I'm a kinetic & tactile learner at least I think that's what I was told. (see I didn't learn that well either) When you get a kid that is bright and a teacher that is basically Hitler - you're going to end up with a kid that seems to do poorly. If you take that same bright child and put him in a setting with an instructor that notices the child didn't "get it" as it was being told - and will take the time to go back and say "I see you didn't get that how can I explain this to you so you can understand?" - BIG difference.
    I didn't learn this until I was in my 30's. Never dumb, but never Deans list.

    ANd your little hockey player - 3 years! I remembered when you posted her playing for the first time. Incredible - I'm so glad she stuck with it and enjoys it. She's the ONLY girl hockey player I know - Except for Gretzky. (Ducking a puck)

    I'm really sorry about the MS. I had a scare like that a couple of years ago and thought "Well I'll just handle it as it comes". I wasn't ready to have a brain tumor or Cushings or Lupus - I just wanted to be healthy.

    I can't believe you JUST got my card - I sent that the Monday after the US Thanksgiving! Snail mail took on a whole new meaning in Canada for me today.

    Many hugs to you Matt, Hockey Girl and this new fella Rollo. Let him know you come from a "Big Family" just don't introduce him to us - he may change his mind about being a BT.

    Hugs to you kid -
    Miss ya, glad you're back
    Star
     
  4. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Thank you both.

    Star, I am cracking up. Gosh you need to live next door to me. I could have a daily infusion of Star and walk around with a constant grin!!!

    Rollo is HILAROUS!!! I love it!!!!

    To make me more of a bragger, he is also a phenomal musician. Piano (classical, jazz, current, you name it). He sounds an awful lot like Elvis Costello. Beautiful voice. I haven't found anything he can't play or sing. He also composes. I will not rub in your faces that on my birthday he picked me up, took me to his place, had candles ready, wine purchased and ready to pour, table set, romantic dinner made, had recorded a song he composed, wrote lyrics to and performed, and played it for me and gave me a copy (i'd been craving a recording). He bought me beautiful thoughful presents that were soooo me. I was allowed to do NOTHING but relax. He then had some of our friend to his house where they sang me happy birthday and he had a cake (cheesecake, fruit topping, my fav!) and we drank too much wine and laughed and I was totally treated like a princess. Umm.... wait, I wasn't rubbing in that I'm dating a totally awesome therapist who understands me, my difficult child, even my dingbat mother, right??? :wink: (sorry, haddd to do it, my bad lol)

    Uh yeah ... I'm keeping this board my private place. So I can come here for therapy when needed. Only issue dating a therapist is ensuring you don't end up on a date being therapIZED :wink:

    (((hugs)))
    I so miss this board when I'm on board hiatus!!!
     
  5. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    If I had someone special like that, I'd be bragging, too. :laugh:
     
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Rollo Costello! Nice ring.....(oops) did I say RING?????

    :hypnosis:
     
  7. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Mattsmom277</div><div class="ubbcode-body">To make me more of a bragger, he is also a phenomal musician. Piano (classical, jazz, current, you name it). He sounds an awful lot like Elvis Costello. Beautiful voice. I haven't found anything he can't play or sing. He also composes. I will not rub in your faces that on my birthday he picked me up, took me to his place, had candles ready, wine purchased and ready to pour, table set, romantic dinner made, had recorded a song he composed, wrote lyrics to and performed, and played it for me and gave me a copy (i'd been craving a recording). He bought me beautiful thoughful presents that were soooo me. I was allowed to do NOTHING but relax. He then had some of our friend to his house where they sang me happy birthday and he had a cake (cheesecake, fruit topping, my fav!) and we drank too much wine and laughed and I was totally treated like a princess. Umm.... wait, I wasn't rubbing in that I'm dating a totally awesome therapist who understands me, my difficult child, even my dingbat mother, right??? :wink: (sorry, haddd to do it, my bad lol) </div></div>

    Scribble scribble scribble (slow down, I'm trying to take notes here) scribble scribble...
     
  8. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    ROFLMAO You gals slay me!

    Re: the Ring comment .... SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! One great thing about him that is completely in sync with me is that he is okay with me NOT being the marrying type. He's also okay with me being of the mind to always maintain seperate residences, seperate finances etc. I really believe that we can have a wonderful, loving, fulfilling, healthy, involved and balanced relationship without mixing our "stuff". Stuff meaning our money and our physical stuff into one home. Don't jinx me :wink:
     
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    WEll of COURSE - you don't mix your physical stuff - :bravo: no huggy no kissey until I see a wedding ring! Don't hand me no lies and keep your hands to yo' self.

    Sung to the rawhide song:

    ROllin rollin rollin keep that therapist goin! (whip crack)
     
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