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Parent Emeritus
Update: Detachment as Spiritual Practice, and an Update
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 613992" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Oh my Cedar, I am at work now and I just threw everyone out after seeing your post!! I only have a moment before I am leaving but I just wanted to say, I am so sorry this is continuing for you with your kids, especially this horrible incident with your daughter.</p><p></p><p>My first thought with the snow is, can you rent a bigger, sturdier car for the trip? Or have someone else retrieve her? Is she going to stay with you in Florida? Oh my.</p><p></p><p>Can your daughter be committed to a hospital for awhile for observations, to perhaps give her some time to regroup and start some medication? I am so alarmed at how quickly this situation has deteriorated, I can't even imagine how you are feeling right now. </p><p></p><p>I think your sisters bad behavior is indicative of how someone responds when they are confronted with the truth.......you have been playing nice with her and in essence colluding with her to mask reality, when we rip that mask away, believe me, people are enraged. A lot of time and energy is put into those masks and literally, they feel as if their life depends on staying as far from the truth of who they are,................. so you have ended the pretend game and now you get attacked and blamed. It's what happens in dysfunctional families Cedar, no one in my family wants to spend any amount of time with me either, I tell the truth and that is dangerous!! But, you will be free of the lie and that is empowering, even if you lose a sister along the way. I say Way to Go Cedar!!</p><p></p><p>Considering your son and your sister are angry at you, I would venture to say that you are coming our of your secretive life and making some <strong>big waves</strong> for those around you who are heavily invested in you staying the same. It's hard, but man is it freeing too. <strong>You rock that boat right out of the water Cedar, celebrate your remarkable new self. </strong>I agree, once I stepped out, I liked those raging waters too!</p><p></p><p>I just had this image pop in to my mind of you very gently and very clearly saying to your daughter, "This is the last time we will rescue you from the life you've chosen. From here on out, I will not be pulled in to your world to watch you destroy yourself. If you want help, we are here 100%, without that promise, we are leaving now and don't want to be called when the next disaster happens." Even mentally ill people can think and reason Cedar, she is choosing this dangerous way of life. </p><p></p><p>I have to run now, but will check in later to see how you are. Gosh, sending you big hugs and lots of love and care.......hang in there............<u><em>think your reactions through clearly, don't react like you usually do, think through the fog..</em></u>..........good luck.xoxoxoxox</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 613992, member: 13542"] Oh my Cedar, I am at work now and I just threw everyone out after seeing your post!! I only have a moment before I am leaving but I just wanted to say, I am so sorry this is continuing for you with your kids, especially this horrible incident with your daughter. My first thought with the snow is, can you rent a bigger, sturdier car for the trip? Or have someone else retrieve her? Is she going to stay with you in Florida? Oh my. Can your daughter be committed to a hospital for awhile for observations, to perhaps give her some time to regroup and start some medication? I am so alarmed at how quickly this situation has deteriorated, I can't even imagine how you are feeling right now. I think your sisters bad behavior is indicative of how someone responds when they are confronted with the truth.......you have been playing nice with her and in essence colluding with her to mask reality, when we rip that mask away, believe me, people are enraged. A lot of time and energy is put into those masks and literally, they feel as if their life depends on staying as far from the truth of who they are,................. so you have ended the pretend game and now you get attacked and blamed. It's what happens in dysfunctional families Cedar, no one in my family wants to spend any amount of time with me either, I tell the truth and that is dangerous!! But, you will be free of the lie and that is empowering, even if you lose a sister along the way. I say Way to Go Cedar!! Considering your son and your sister are angry at you, I would venture to say that you are coming our of your secretive life and making some [B]big waves[/B] for those around you who are heavily invested in you staying the same. It's hard, but man is it freeing too. [B]You rock that boat right out of the water Cedar, celebrate your remarkable new self. [/B]I agree, once I stepped out, I liked those raging waters too! I just had this image pop in to my mind of you very gently and very clearly saying to your daughter, "This is the last time we will rescue you from the life you've chosen. From here on out, I will not be pulled in to your world to watch you destroy yourself. If you want help, we are here 100%, without that promise, we are leaving now and don't want to be called when the next disaster happens." Even mentally ill people can think and reason Cedar, she is choosing this dangerous way of life. I have to run now, but will check in later to see how you are. Gosh, sending you big hugs and lots of love and care.......hang in there............[U][I]think your reactions through clearly, don't react like you usually do, think through the fog..[/I][/U]..........good luck.xoxoxoxox [/QUOTE]
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Update: Detachment as Spiritual Practice, and an Update
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