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General Parenting
UPDATE- difficult child is leaving today~
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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 75332" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Hi Jo,</p><p>you don't know that you haven't made a difference for her--you just can't see it yet. Also, I know with my difficult child 1 that for some reason she just could not learn to be an adult while having me to lean on. She would revert to her helpless ways anytime she lived with me. I wondered if she was even capable of taking care of herself--thought her emotional problems might prevent her from being able to work and be responsible for herself. She about broke my heart before she went to her Residential Treatment Center (RTC) just before turning 16. She said, "but, Mom, how will I live without you?" Here was a kid who was skipping school, stealing, doing drugs, being promiscuous, seeing way too many things beyond her age, and she was like a toddler in her neediness. She seemed so fragile to me. Well, she proved that she indeed could learn to assert herself and be responsible and that led to much more self confidence. Unfortunately, when she came home she reverted back to being dependent, seemed to lose everything she had gained. But now it is there for real and she couldn't have gotten there with me to lean on. </p><p></p><p>It's hard for a mom to realize that the best thing you can do for your kid is to let them go--that is being a good mother. It goes against our protective instincts but some kids just don't seem to be able to step up to the plate unless we take all support away--seems to be no balance you can reach.</p><p></p><p>I hope you will get some much needed rest and rejuvenation and don't feel guilty about enjoying the peace of mind and freedom! You will be a better mom in the long run if you are a whole person, taking care of yourself.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 75332, member: 3450"] Hi Jo, you don't know that you haven't made a difference for her--you just can't see it yet. Also, I know with my difficult child 1 that for some reason she just could not learn to be an adult while having me to lean on. She would revert to her helpless ways anytime she lived with me. I wondered if she was even capable of taking care of herself--thought her emotional problems might prevent her from being able to work and be responsible for herself. She about broke my heart before she went to her Residential Treatment Center (RTC) just before turning 16. She said, "but, Mom, how will I live without you?" Here was a kid who was skipping school, stealing, doing drugs, being promiscuous, seeing way too many things beyond her age, and she was like a toddler in her neediness. She seemed so fragile to me. Well, she proved that she indeed could learn to assert herself and be responsible and that led to much more self confidence. Unfortunately, when she came home she reverted back to being dependent, seemed to lose everything she had gained. But now it is there for real and she couldn't have gotten there with me to lean on. It's hard for a mom to realize that the best thing you can do for your kid is to let them go--that is being a good mother. It goes against our protective instincts but some kids just don't seem to be able to step up to the plate unless we take all support away--seems to be no balance you can reach. I hope you will get some much needed rest and rejuvenation and don't feel guilty about enjoying the peace of mind and freedom! You will be a better mom in the long run if you are a whole person, taking care of yourself. Hugs, Jane [/QUOTE]
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UPDATE- difficult child is leaving today~
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