Update: difficult child is "Toast"....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Oct 20, 2009.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    O it just keeps getting better and better....

    I posted yesterday about 3:30 after I got off the phone with one of her teachers (the teacher who is in charge of the program that sponsored the Saturday field trip). The teacher had been really upset because difficult child had implicated HIM in the "driving lessons" --and remember? I had sent a letter to the school superintendent detailing all of the allegations that difficult child levelled at the teachers and chaperones.difficult child knew I was writing the letter and she said she thought it was a good idea and was fine if the program got into big trouble.

    So the teacher was FURIOUS! As we ended our telephone conversation, he spotted her and asked if I wanted to speak to her over the phone. I said no, I had to think about eveything I had just learned and needed to decide how I was going to handle it. BUT--I told him that HE was more than welcome to address this issue with her if he wanted. He said he did and that he would have a few words with her.

    So at that time, difficult child knew the jig was up....

    AND, in true difficult child fashion, instead of admitting her mistake, or apologizing or anything of the sort....she began crying and telling people that she couldn't go home because her parents were so abusive and she was going to be so severely punished--Her parents would kill her, they were so unreasonable, after all, it was just a trip to McDonalds!!!! She asked a few students if she could go home with them instead...

    Parents were picking up kids from school at the time, so one of these kids alerted his Mom to the situation.

    The Mom went to difficult child and told her that she would protect her and not let anything bad happen and then Mom called the police to report a possible case of child abuse.

    SO--when husband arrived to pick difficult child up from school....he found her talking to the cops. And the officers were treating it like a child abuse call, and they told difficult child that they could keep her safe and she needed to tell them everything that husband does to her as "punishment". (Now, in the past, difficult child has told all kinds of stories from we abandon her in strange places, to we keep her locked in a closet, to we beat her with chains, to we treat her like a slave in our home!!!) And God knows what she was prepared to tell police NOW about our "abuse"...

    So went husband went to to scene, officers immediately treated him like a suspect and they began interviewing him about his parenting and his idea of discipline....and all the while difficult child is crying and putting on a show of being terrified of her father.

    Luckily, we spent our summer attending the parenting class offered by the dept of juvenile justice. So husband was able to tell the officer that he had taken the class (which of course, the police are familiar with) because he had no idea how to get difficult child under control. husband ticked off the list of her recent escapades. And husband described his usual method of punishment--which is to take everything away....and I mean EVERYTHING. No tv, no computer, no phone, no toys or entertainment of any kind. difficult child gets to sit, in a chair, with NOTHING for the whole day.

    The police officer agreed that this was good method of "grounding" and did not constitute abuse....

    So then, the officer turned his attention to difficult child and gave her a lecture about being truthful and responsible and doing well in school and getting her act together....the whole nine yards.

    After that, husband was allowed to take her home.

    I'm exhausted....

    And I still haven't learned whether there will be consequences at the school for forged signatures and cut classes.

    Give me strength!

    And thank you all for your support....it means the world!!

    --DaisyFace
     
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    DF - This is SOOOOOOO FAMILIAR!

    No longer does it happen though. Not since Onyxx figured out BM's game... And since we found out BM married creep anyway, she (Onyxx) hasn't even tried to give us any ****!

    Of course, it's only been two weeks. And she IS a teenager.

    This morning husband almost went through the roof - he noticed a weird signature on one of Onyxx's daily papers.

    I lost it laughing when he showed me - it was MINE!

    I also informed him that I always put a smiley or star on it, because it annoys and embarrasses Onyxx. Tee hee.
     
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Geez....difficult child's seem to always know how to make the situation get deeper and deeper, don't they? My guess is that if the police had felt the need to loopk into this a bit further, it would have been dropped the minute they talked to people at school district- like the teacher who had been implicated. I'm glad they did believe your husband though.
     
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Gag me. Why do other parents decide to get into the middle of someone elses parenting decisions? Oh the poor dear soul...your parents may kill you? Yeah right! And what did you do for them to want to kill you?
     
  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Actually, in the end, we were glad that the Mom had called police and let THEM sort it out, rather than allowing difficult child to come home with their family or hiding her from us or immediately calling CPS.

    It could have been waaaay worse.

    And the Mom must have felt pretty bad about the whole thing because she invited us to a barbecue. Not sure if she was serious, but it was a nice gesture.

    --DaisyFace
     
  6. Ehlena

    Ehlena New Member

    Gosh, been there done that. Thankfully, in our experience, the police/CPS/social workers (we have been through them all!) are able to see through difficult children' lies.

    I'm glad they told her off, and she's now safe at home. Here's hoping the school follows through with consequences as well!
     
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