Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Update - don't know what I was thinking....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 474961"><p>I am so sorry that being w your daughter made you feel worse. I know you are horrified & likely grossed out by her chosen lifestyle. And scared to death.</p><p></p><p>The therapist gave us homework - H and I are writing out our standards of living in our family. It's not finished yet; and as the days pass-we keep refining it. It's been immensely helpful (though we haven't put it into practice yet)-it's given me the opportunity to decide and write out what is acceptable and what is not and anticipate difficult children reaction. Its made me realize the strong need I have to stop "reacting" and be proactive. Unfortunately, it's likely that some of our standards could drive difficult child further away. But it's becoming clearer to me that at not having standards is worse. Having them may not change his behavior away from our lives-but at least it stops me from feigning acceptance of it. As we all know too well-give a difficult child an inch and they take miles and miles. I need to stop giving away miles. Maybes you too? I've included Trinity's list of detachment sayings on it. </p><p></p><p>I am so so sorry you are hurting. You are a good mom and don't deserve this behavior. {{{hugs}}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 474961"] I am so sorry that being w your daughter made you feel worse. I know you are horrified & likely grossed out by her chosen lifestyle. And scared to death. The therapist gave us homework - H and I are writing out our standards of living in our family. It's not finished yet; and as the days pass-we keep refining it. It's been immensely helpful (though we haven't put it into practice yet)-it's given me the opportunity to decide and write out what is acceptable and what is not and anticipate difficult children reaction. Its made me realize the strong need I have to stop "reacting" and be proactive. Unfortunately, it's likely that some of our standards could drive difficult child further away. But it's becoming clearer to me that at not having standards is worse. Having them may not change his behavior away from our lives-but at least it stops me from feigning acceptance of it. As we all know too well-give a difficult child an inch and they take miles and miles. I need to stop giving away miles. Maybes you too? I've included Trinity's list of detachment sayings on it. I am so so sorry you are hurting. You are a good mom and don't deserve this behavior. {{{hugs}}} [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Update - don't know what I was thinking....
Top