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<blockquote data-quote="mrsammler" data-source="post: 457616"><p>Kicking out a wild, dysfunctional, unruly kid is never a bad thing. I went through a hard-drinking, hard-partying phase when I was 18-21, and after I had dropped out of college (lost a big academic scholarship due to partying all the time) and was living at my parents' home for a year, still partying a lot and getting into trouble, my father finally kicked me out. I hated him for it and moved into a depressing room in a boarding house up the street, working two jobs to pay my way but still partying as much as possible, but eventually (after losing one of the jobs via absenteeism due to being hung over in the mornings) I hit rock bottom and had no choice but to enlist in the army. Doing that completely turned my life around--I had completely learned my lesson by the end of basic training, and felt a huge surge of pride and self-worth for having gotten through basic training--and the first person I called, on my first evening furlough at the enlisted men's club at the end of basic, was my father, to thank him for having been so tough on me and forcing me to become a man. </p><p></p><p>Upshot: kicking a difficult child out, hard as it is to do, is ultimately the right thing to do. You just have to wait out the inevitable hatred from the difficult child and hope that he eventually smacks hard at the bottom of his plummet and then figures out how to get back up and fix his life. Hang in there--it does work. You just need to take the long view and try to ignore the flailing and fury of your difficult child. It's just petulant and childish noise--try to ignore it and look at the light at the end of the tunnel instead.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mrsammler, post: 457616"] Kicking out a wild, dysfunctional, unruly kid is never a bad thing. I went through a hard-drinking, hard-partying phase when I was 18-21, and after I had dropped out of college (lost a big academic scholarship due to partying all the time) and was living at my parents' home for a year, still partying a lot and getting into trouble, my father finally kicked me out. I hated him for it and moved into a depressing room in a boarding house up the street, working two jobs to pay my way but still partying as much as possible, but eventually (after losing one of the jobs via absenteeism due to being hung over in the mornings) I hit rock bottom and had no choice but to enlist in the army. Doing that completely turned my life around--I had completely learned my lesson by the end of basic training, and felt a huge surge of pride and self-worth for having gotten through basic training--and the first person I called, on my first evening furlough at the enlisted men's club at the end of basic, was my father, to thank him for having been so tough on me and forcing me to become a man. Upshot: kicking a difficult child out, hard as it is to do, is ultimately the right thing to do. You just have to wait out the inevitable hatred from the difficult child and hope that he eventually smacks hard at the bottom of his plummet and then figures out how to get back up and fix his life. Hang in there--it does work. You just need to take the long view and try to ignore the flailing and fury of your difficult child. It's just petulant and childish noise--try to ignore it and look at the light at the end of the tunnel instead. [/QUOTE]
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