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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 144344" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Bunny, </p><p> </p><p>See this is <em><strong><u>EXACTLY </u></strong></em>what I think about Dude's behaviors. Albeit I do not consider him Holier than thou - Sometimes his sense of entitlement is outrageously ridiculous. (Perhaps he does think of himself as a deity??) </p><p> </p><p>But what I'm trying to figure out is: </p><p> </p><p>When they are GONE for so long like your daughter and then ONLY return when they need us - if we don't give in - do we loose total contact with them? Are we being petty and somewhat vindictive? </p><p> </p><p>Should we just cut them slack because we so want to belong in their lives that we just say "Whatever" and get the crumbs of attention they are giving? </p><p> </p><p>Then I think...</p><p>Do they KNOW they are tossing out crumbs? Do they really think they are blessing us with their presence or is it all just normal to them? With Dude if he's gone a while and then calls and I state any deviation from our normal "HI how are you, how is life, tell me all about it?" it comes off as I don't care. </p><p> </p><p>I do care - I just am stuck between - </p><p>Do I care enough about myself to forgive my feelings and detach emotionally? Do I care SO much about him that I just 'eat' my emotions and wipe the slate clean again? </p><p> </p><p>That's my quandry now. I want to be a part of his life, but those words Option/Priority keep resonating in my head and I think today "Nope - I'm going to show you what it feels like to be snubbed ;like you do me." and then I hear about a tragedy in a family and I wonder if I'm just being petty, that I should appreciate whatever time I get with him because he's not treating me like he is on purpose. </p><p> </p><p>If I knew for sure he was treating me like this - I would be done. I swear I walk away 10 times a day. Then this emotional parent/child bond grabs ahold of my ankles and drags me back to "You KNOW he can't help be like he is." yet another part of me thinks "I don't see him be like this with his friends." then another voice chimes in and says "Sure he is like that with his friends - they just are newer to the game and ignore it." </p><p> </p><p>I think I'm going nuts sometimes when I try to figure out if he's taking advantage of me and I should walk off until he figures out I'm to be treated nicer - and ten minutes later I think "He couldn't POSSIBLY treat me like this and have a normal thinking brain." <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/biting.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":biting:" title="biting :biting:" data-shortname=":biting:" /></p><p> </p><p>ARGH - dilema #353,697</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 144344, member: 4964"] Bunny, See this is [I][B][U]EXACTLY [/U][/B][/I]what I think about Dude's behaviors. Albeit I do not consider him Holier than thou - Sometimes his sense of entitlement is outrageously ridiculous. (Perhaps he does think of himself as a deity??) But what I'm trying to figure out is: When they are GONE for so long like your daughter and then ONLY return when they need us - if we don't give in - do we loose total contact with them? Are we being petty and somewhat vindictive? Should we just cut them slack because we so want to belong in their lives that we just say "Whatever" and get the crumbs of attention they are giving? Then I think... Do they KNOW they are tossing out crumbs? Do they really think they are blessing us with their presence or is it all just normal to them? With Dude if he's gone a while and then calls and I state any deviation from our normal "HI how are you, how is life, tell me all about it?" it comes off as I don't care. I do care - I just am stuck between - Do I care enough about myself to forgive my feelings and detach emotionally? Do I care SO much about him that I just 'eat' my emotions and wipe the slate clean again? That's my quandry now. I want to be a part of his life, but those words Option/Priority keep resonating in my head and I think today "Nope - I'm going to show you what it feels like to be snubbed ;like you do me." and then I hear about a tragedy in a family and I wonder if I'm just being petty, that I should appreciate whatever time I get with him because he's not treating me like he is on purpose. If I knew for sure he was treating me like this - I would be done. I swear I walk away 10 times a day. Then this emotional parent/child bond grabs ahold of my ankles and drags me back to "You KNOW he can't help be like he is." yet another part of me thinks "I don't see him be like this with his friends." then another voice chimes in and says "Sure he is like that with his friends - they just are newer to the game and ignore it." I think I'm going nuts sometimes when I try to figure out if he's taking advantage of me and I should walk off until he figures out I'm to be treated nicer - and ten minutes later I think "He couldn't POSSIBLY treat me like this and have a normal thinking brain." :biting: ARGH - dilema #353,697 [/QUOTE]
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