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<blockquote data-quote="ChefPaula1965" data-source="post: 144364" data-attributes="member: 2913"><p>Andre, also is like this.............</p><p>I don't think they purposely say... "let me ignor mom until I need something"... I think it is more like "I couldn't care less right now... " ... which is worse??? them being vindictive or us being the LAST THING ON THEIR MIND until something comes up and they need mom.... </p><p>With these sociopathic behaviors, loved ones are put on the "back burner"... they know that when they do contact us there will be at least some type of "what are you doing with your life" question even though it may only be presumed... we may not even say anything... and though "guilty feelings" is not realy in their vocabulary.. they may be concerned that we would try to send them on a guilt trip...</p><p>I am still trying to make sense of all of this........ the behavior now is even more erratic than when he was a child........ and some how.... the lack of relationship with Andre is making me question my whole motherhood.......... GUILTY FEELINGS is a part of our vocabulary...</p><p>I hate the "what could I have done differently.... should I send him money.... maybe I should allow him to come home... and promise not to call the authorities....." </p><p>Some how as mothers of the difficult children our thinking is also somewhat warped.... the thoughts of it some how being our fault is imposed upon us by a society who doesn't understand and who automatilly says... bad behavior in a child is a result of bad parenting... somehow.. we sometimes buy into this... IT IS A LIE!!! </p><p>My heart greives for Andre... though life with him was far from easy... our status as mothers leads us to continue nurturing and sometimes the line between love and tough love become a HUGE gray area..............</p><p>These are just my ramblings because I am in the same type of position...</p><p>hugs to all</p><p>Paula</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ChefPaula1965, post: 144364, member: 2913"] Andre, also is like this............. I don't think they purposely say... "let me ignor mom until I need something"... I think it is more like "I couldn't care less right now... " ... which is worse??? them being vindictive or us being the LAST THING ON THEIR MIND until something comes up and they need mom.... With these sociopathic behaviors, loved ones are put on the "back burner"... they know that when they do contact us there will be at least some type of "what are you doing with your life" question even though it may only be presumed... we may not even say anything... and though "guilty feelings" is not realy in their vocabulary.. they may be concerned that we would try to send them on a guilt trip... I am still trying to make sense of all of this........ the behavior now is even more erratic than when he was a child........ and some how.... the lack of relationship with Andre is making me question my whole motherhood.......... GUILTY FEELINGS is a part of our vocabulary... I hate the "what could I have done differently.... should I send him money.... maybe I should allow him to come home... and promise not to call the authorities....." Some how as mothers of the difficult children our thinking is also somewhat warped.... the thoughts of it some how being our fault is imposed upon us by a society who doesn't understand and who automatilly says... bad behavior in a child is a result of bad parenting... somehow.. we sometimes buy into this... IT IS A LIE!!! My heart greives for Andre... though life with him was far from easy... our status as mothers leads us to continue nurturing and sometimes the line between love and tough love become a HUGE gray area.............. These are just my ramblings because I am in the same type of position... hugs to all Paula [/QUOTE]
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