Update of sorts.....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by timer lady, Apr 6, 2009.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    There are many things going on here of late hard to know where to start.

    On the positive, kt broke down last week & admitted that she needed help & treatment. She (at least this morning) is going willingly to tour the treatment facility & meet with the therapist tomorrow. kt misses her dad beyond belief. She told me that she feels I'm kicking her out of the house to find her a "new dad". Nothing could be further from the truth. Saying all that, the weekend with kt was wonderful. I took her out shopping for a bit yesterday for undergarments & she followed my guidelines for bra purchases. We sat & sipped smoothies before coming home.

    The remodel is getting crazy but keeping my mind busy & off many things. The plans are being drawn up again for the 3rd time. The mtg with the contractor last week included his partner (the expert in construction). After that mtg, it was decided that things needed to be changed in the kitchen/utility room part of the remodel. After all is said & done I may be getting French doors & an extension to my deck (they think it will fit into the budget knowing I won't go over that number). If it doesn't work it doesn't work. Keep your fingers crossed ~ it would be so cool.

    I'm in the process of applying for disability & survivor benefits nonsense. This shouldn't be so difficult. My doctors say I'm disabled (several of them). SS administration has issues with that. Geeez. A mtg this morning at SS admin office.

    kt & I head down to my dad's this coming Friday. PCA is driving as far as Appleton ~ my sister can meet me there (she's in Fond du Lac area) or if I'm feeling good I may drive the last 2 hours to my dad's house.

    As I titrate down off the prednisone I have more energy; less confusion. So I may be able to drive that distance with little trouble. I won't take chances though.

    Finally, kt has asked to visit wm & take him an Easter basket. I'm in the process of seeing if this is okay. Foster mum has no problem however the team may have issues. I'm waiting for a call from Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) team leader to see if wm's worker can be there; kt's worker will come along. The visit will not be any longer than 30 minutes but kt is insistant on seeing her twin & taking him a basket as he can't come to grandpa's with us. I see this as a positive ~ "I'm feeling stronger, mom".

    And with all of this I'm painting like crazy. My latest is of Ice Orgy flowers. husband found this photo for me to paint & I didn't get to it until after he passed. I painted this one for him & will hang it in my newly remodeled bedroom, next to his fedoras ~ it will be a funky looking wall, however kt cannot continue to believe I'm trying to replace husband after I do this.

    If you got thru all of this, thanks for listening.
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2009
  2. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    Sounds like kt is moving forward. It must warm your heart to see her show such consideration for wm.

    I love your idea to paint husband's photo, what a lovely memorial.

    I also want to tell you how much I enjoy your quote in your sig. It always gives me a smile and something to think about.
  3. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    It looks like both you and kt are beginning to get closer to the surface after being submerged for so long. Take it slow, breath deeply, and keep pushing forward.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda-I think it is great progress that kt is realizing she needs help. I'm glad the two of you had a fun time shopping. The remodeling sounds crazy but think of the end results!-You'll have to post pics. I'm so glad you are enjoying painting! I love looking at your avatars-they always look wonderful. I hope SS stops being so difficult. Enjoy the time at home with your family-I am so glad you are going! Hugs.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    i am glad kt realizes she needs help ANd is willing to accept it!! That is half the battle right there.

    In time kt will believe that you are not trying to replace her. A lot of this stems from her earliest years. It is not going to go away just because you say something. It will take time and a lot of therapy for her to see you miss husband just as much as she does. he was a big part of her stability. The last year or so he was not so stable and that had to be somewhat threatening to her. Then, before things could work out he died, removing half of hte equation that meant home, safety, security and happiness. You are still there, but now you are the entire equation for her. So it is a terribly tough thing for her to work through. And for you to work through.

    I doubt she has the maturity to see that you are hurting as bad as she is, and are NOT looking to replace the man you loved anytime.

    It is very sweet of her to want to do something for wm for Easter. I hope the visit can be arranged and executed safely and happily. I also hope it does not trigger unstable behaviors just before your trip. Having that other adult for the entire trip might be a good thing, esp if kt is close to the edge after visiting wm.

    If we don't hear from you again this week I hope you ahve a good trip and a Happy Easter!
  6. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member


    Kit asking for help is definitely progress. That's a great sign !

    Glad to hear the remodel is moving along, and that you seem to be feeling better. You "sound" a bit more like your ol chipper self. It's great to "hear".

    Sending hugs,
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Kt asking for and accepting help is huge, in my opinion. That she explained how she is feeling, her fears, is also huge. To some degree her fears are normalish.......exacerbated by her early years. But being able to pick out what the issue is at the get go is half the battle of conquering it. So proud of kt bug. :)

    Sounds like your having your own little adventure with the remodel. I'm living thru you right now. I'd give my left arm to have a full bath upstairs. lol A single bath for 5 people......one of whom is potty training....is an experience. ;)

    So nice of kt to think of wm for the holiday and making sure he gets to feel the family presence as well. She's sure is growing up, isn't she?

    Good luck with SS, I hope they don't prove to be too much of a PITA.

  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like things are improving...kt asking for help is huge. Hope she's able to see wm and that the visit goes smoothly.

    I'm so envious of your remodel! Enjoy, enjoy!
  9. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Well it certainly sounds like you are plenty busy. I hope all continues to go well. Many hugs on your continuing journey.

  10. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Linda I think that is wonderful news! I only wish my difficult child would recognize/acknowledge when he needs help.

    The remodel, while a PITA, sounds like just the thing to keep you busy and active. Definately post pictures of the process!!!

    I hope Kt and Wm have a good visit and you and Kt have a nice time at your Dad's.

  11. Lori4ever

    Lori4ever New Member

    Sounds like progress srom every angle. I'm so glad she talks to you as she does, that's so good for both of you in the long run! I hope you enjoy your holiday with all of your family.
  12. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Ladies, I am beginning to feel human again (physically). The continuing reduction of the steroids along with the new medication to help me sleep thru the night makes a huge difference in my physical & emotional well being.

    The grieving process is just that - a process that will be ongoing. I'm seeing things a bit more clearly than I did even 2 weeks ago. For that I am truly thankful.

    I will post pictures of the before & after of the remodel. Honestly, I wouldn't have the wherewithal to do this if husband hadn't passed & left me some life insurance money. This remodel will represent about 1/5 of the funds & the rest I will invest in MM's & CDs until the market settles a bit. I need these fund to live on especially as SS makes a decision. (by the way, I spent 2 1/2 hours there yesterday dealing with all the issues that needed to be attended to).

    I love "talking" to you all. I think we should get a huge conference call going. Hmmmmmmm:hypnosis:
  13. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Linda...things really do sound quite positive in the tweedle world.

    SS can be a pain in the rear. The survivor's benefits shouldnt be a problem to get started but disability is a royal pain. Unless you are on your deathbed and sometimes even then they seem to want to deny, deny, deny. It is so frustrating! Just keep at it and if they turn you down the first time, get a lawyer and appeal.
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I KNEW those were ice flowers. BEAUTIFUL work L......(where is my cardinal?) lol.

    I can't wait to see the pics of your remodel. Sounds like a pain and fun at the same time.

    I'm amazed with KT's love. I'm glad she wants to take wm a basket. I think that is sweet.

    And as far as SS? OMG I worry about that too - Dude has applied but they aren't sure if he's disabled any more.....WHAT DO YOU MEAN ANY MORE? ugh. (oh of course (slap head) how silly of me - I forgot the trip to the fountain of total healing)

    Sending hugs and a pencil sharpener.
  15. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    OMG Star, I gave your cardinal to foster mum for Christmas - I am so very sorry. :embarrassed: I'll start another one for you.
  16. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I like your robin in Spring pretty well.......:)happy:)