Update of Sorts

[DazedandConfused]

No, I don't have to help katie or enable her or whatever to be those kids Nana. But I will be their Nana, whether she likes it or not. Yup. Even if I have to go around her to do it. Those kids will know their family loves them and want to be in their lives.

I'm going to the school and volunteering to read to Evan's class. While I'm at it.......I'm going to see if they have grandparents do something similar for Kayla and Alex's classes. I only work a couple days a week for easy child.....and when I do get a job I plan it to be on the weekends. By reading to the class........I can make sure they're still enrolled. I can also develop relationships with the teachers and school staff. And if katie is uncooperative.........by darn I'll march their xmas presents into their classrooms and give them to them myself.



Muahhaahhhaaahhhaaahhhaaa

Great idea and good for you!!

 

[AnnieO]

Wow, I missed this one.

Lisa, I think that's an awesome idea. I'm concerned, too, though - those blinds would worry me as well.

 

[Liahona]

I had a student whose mom was difficult child and his grandparents were worried sick she'd take him and run. I put a note into his sp ed file. It wasn't much, but it was all I could do to relive them. Maybe a note stating there is suspected sexual abuse could go into the file. These files follow kids around when nothing else does. Even if it takes 1/2 the school year to catch up to them most of the time it does end up following them.

I think volunteering would be great idea as well.

 

[Hound dog]

Well, if she moved her phone is the same too. Which I doubt. I got a message thing, not that it was disconnected.

Who knows, maybe a miracle happened and the girl actually got a job. (highly doubt it, but xmas is coming lol )

I think grief caused me to back totally away from the situation. I just couldn't handle her koi at that time.

If she does stay in town but moves out of the apartments (would be about the stupidest idea in the world on her part), it would take me less than a day to find her if I put my mind to it. Last time it took me less than a half hour. Out of town or out of state would be a tad more difficult, but not impossible. I knew where she was the entire time she was gone last time. It kept me sane.

 

[busywend]

I have to say this, only because it popped into my head. It may be a ridiculous thought though. Sorry if it offends.

Could it be she feels since you backed away from her since her dad died, that you have no use for her or the kids any longer? That her only tie to you was your husband, that she has no family in that town any longer? Could she be feeling like since her dad is gone you are, too?

I am not saying you have done anything to cause this feeling in her, but is it possible she dreamed up this little scenario in her head?

 

[DammitJanet]

Busy has a point. Its kinda the way I am feeling about my stepmom and Richmond. I feel like I lost my last tie to my home town. Or as I put it...my home. I feel like an orphan but then again my stepmom did call me an orphan not two days after he died! That didnt help me to not feel like one. I dont know that I would have thought of me in those terms considering my age until she said that.

I feel as if my hometown has been ripped away from me now that I dont have Dad there.

But then you have never told her she isnt welcome either. I dont much feel welcome.

 

[Hound dog]

Busy, you make a very good point. And knowing katie, it's very possible.

And with the timing of all of this latest mess...........it probably compounded it. Because we really let her have it over it. Especially the girls did. But it's hard not to come down on someone in a huge way when you've been telling them something for 3 yrs and they refuse to accept it or do anything about it. Heck, I hated the timing of it as it was right after husband died. We were all emotionally on a tight wire to begin with. Well, actually it had started before his heart attack, it just sort of got steadily worse from there.

I'm trying to get her to talk to me. I'm not having much luck. I am NOT apologizing, because please she should've done something years ago about perv man, but I did explain a bit.......especially about why her sisters were so hard on her over it. I can't even get her to answer the phone, which she rarely does to begin with.

I may get ticked off enough to go pound on her door. lol If I can't talk to her, it makes inviting her to thanksgiving a tad difficult.

Nichole's bff is moving into the 3 bedrms which puts her right where she can keep an eye on both katie and the kids. I'm so happy about this I could just jump up and down. And no, I don't think she's moved............I am hoping if on the extremely slim chance she forced M to move........she got a job or something. (doubt it but a mom can dream) She can't afford anywhere else, this place has utilities paid.

I'm wondering if we're getting no response at all because perhaps a cps investigation is underway. (now that would just make my year, and c'mon God.....I could use something to counter all the horrible crud)

Unfortunately (I did NOT know this) when Nichole blasted her she told her that she was a horrid parent and cps needed to come get her kids, that if she had the money or some such she'd take her to court and fight her for custody. And a whole lot of other true but pretty heavy things. Like a LOT of the abuse and neglect she witness when she was a kid both at our house and when she spent the night at katie's. postpartum hormones can be ruthless.

For the grands sake, I'll keep trying. Think I'll also pick up a card today and mail her a friggin invitation. muahhhaaahhhaaa

 

[susiestar]

You are an awesome Nana, and a great mom to katie also. She probably has no CLUE what to do with you. It is also easier to just not talk to you. So mail that invite.

Pregnancy hormones can be vicious! I know I was NOT a nice person while preg and for about 9 mos after. I tried to be but they are powerful things. Esp if you see a kid being abused, because your hormones are all about perpetuating the species at a biological and evolutionary level, Know what I mean?? So Nichole may not have been capable of not saying those things to katie. esp after Occupational Therapist (OT) speaking up after all these years because t would not have helped.

(((((hugs)))))

 

[Liahona]

Can I borrow Nichole? There are a few things that need to be said in my family and I'm tired of being the only one saying them. I think I really like her. Of course I had easy child 3 not to long ago, so we might be on the same hormonal wave length.