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Update on 28 yo son
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<blockquote data-quote="Despairing Mom" data-source="post: 742105" data-attributes="member: 23412"><p>I'm so sorry your son is putting you through the emotional wringer. When you hope you die so you don't have to have contact with your abusive son, it's past the time to stop his ability to hurt you. </p><p></p><p>He's not going to get better quickly regardless of what you do. You can't coerce him to change and stop abusing you. In order to feel better,<strong> you</strong> must change your behavior and your thoughts towards him.</p><p></p><p>The first thing to do to feel better is to set up boundaries. Protect yourself from his abusive behavior. You don't have to answer the phone every time he calls. You don't have to listen to his verbal abuse in person. You don't have to return his phone messages. You can hang up on him when he becomes abusive on the phone. You don't have to share your assets with him. You don't have to feel miserable when he is miserable. You don't have to provide an explanation for anything you tell him or anything you do. </p><p></p><p>You will likely feel guilty after establishing boundaries to stop your son from verbally abusing you. After some time, you will begin to give up this guilt and begin to have a more pleasant life. </p><p></p><p>Until you find a therapist, I strongly recommend Marsalis Fjelstad's book<u> Stop Caretakeing the Borderline or Narcissist- How to End the Drama and Get On with Life.</u></p><p><u></u></p><p>I'm sending you a long ((hug)).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Despairing Mom, post: 742105, member: 23412"] I'm so sorry your son is putting you through the emotional wringer. When you hope you die so you don't have to have contact with your abusive son, it's past the time to stop his ability to hurt you. He's not going to get better quickly regardless of what you do. You can't coerce him to change and stop abusing you. In order to feel better,[B] you[/B] must change your behavior and your thoughts towards him. The first thing to do to feel better is to set up boundaries. Protect yourself from his abusive behavior. You don't have to answer the phone every time he calls. You don't have to listen to his verbal abuse in person. You don't have to return his phone messages. You can hang up on him when he becomes abusive on the phone. You don't have to share your assets with him. You don't have to feel miserable when he is miserable. You don't have to provide an explanation for anything you tell him or anything you do. You will likely feel guilty after establishing boundaries to stop your son from verbally abusing you. After some time, you will begin to give up this guilt and begin to have a more pleasant life. Until you find a therapist, I strongly recommend Marsalis Fjelstad's book[U] Stop Caretakeing the Borderline or Narcissist- How to End the Drama and Get On with Life. [/U] I'm sending you a long ((hug)). [/QUOTE]
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Update on 28 yo son
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