Update on cell phone harassment/mean girl problem

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by MidwestMom, Oct 7, 2008.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    We visited the school principal, played the cell phone message for him, showed him some IMs and told him there was a "hate easy child Club" at school. This is a new principal who was brought in from a nearby district. He was AWESOME. He said, "This will be over by the end of the day."
    After we left he called easy child and Sara into the office and held a mediation. Both girls could talk about their feelings and emotions and both admitted that their friendship meant something and that they wanted to repair it.
    Sara said that she had been horrified with K. (from the other school) called and left such a vicious message on easy child's phone. She said she didn't want to hang out with K. anymore. Since K. is from another school, that won't be too hard, however she is a big shot in the overflowing community--a rich girl who is truly beautiful, but can be very ugly inside. Still, the girls don't see her day-to-day.
    On the way home, easy child walked with the daughter of the cop who we had reported the abuse to, and they made up. This was important as these two have been great friends for several years.
    So everything is back to normal and I'm glad I got involved. It was very helpful. I think this idea of mediation between girls is great. This way it didn't put the blame on Sara (which would have alienated her), but gave her a chance to tell easy child some things that bothered her about easy child and easy child was a good sport, listening, agreeing, and promising to try harder.
    Since kids can be so vicious and suicide is high among teens, I think parents and schools should get involved when their kids are being tortured at school--it can make a big difference. I don't recommend calling the parents--get the school involved or call the police so that the girls learn that you can't harass people over the internet or with cell phones--that is against the law. Girls are often surprised to learn this.
    The bottom line is that easy child is happy again and the Mean Girl Club is over. It is quite a relief to me. I didn't sleep for a few nights. And I thought my fifth child would make it easier...it doesn't get easier :faint:
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Perfect! I'm so glad you and husband stepped in and allowed the school the chance to help. I'm also really glad that the school went along and helped!

    Nice job on Sara and easy child! It's so cool to see that maturity really is starting to settle in. It takes two really strong women to step up and accept help when they're not sure how to handle a situation!

    Make sure that they know that this was a HUGE sign of maturity on both of their parts.

    YOU are truly a warrior mom! Well done!

  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    That sounds like a really positive outcome.

    I really wonder about girls like K. I mean - you think about her, she really should be a decent person, she's got so much going for her, you would think... so why does she choose to be so mean? What is she getting out of it? What is this replacing in her life? And what sort of person is she going to become?

    I have encountered some truly mean people over the years, including a fascinating woman whose main enjoyment in life seemed to revolve around manipulating people purely for her own private, vicious entertainment. She would try to break up friendships, families, marriages. She would lie, she would cheat. All with a smile on her face. Inside, she was terrified of being old, unattractive and unloved. She would show you a photo of herself 20 years younger and 40 kilos slimmer and say to you (seriously) "Look, I am still as beautiful, young and slim as ever I was."

    Utterly tragic.

    YOu have just done a wonderful thing for your daughter. As it turns out, this was also a very good thing for her two friends. That's the unexpected bonus.

    And it DOES get easier from here - the first fight back is the hardest.

  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    K. is spoiled. But she's also from a divorced family and has stepsiblings and visitations...so all isn't right in her world. Still, she has more going for her than most kids. She just isn't a nice person. I have no idea why. She is truly the definition of Queen Bee.
  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    K soundls like those snarky little "Sweet Sixteen" queens on MTV. Every once in a while, husband will get up with the demons on a Saturday and I watch that stupid show while I'm getting dressed. I'm amazed at what brazen little brats these kids are!

    This kid sounds like a classic "Bridezilla" in the making!

  6. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I am so happy to hear everything worked out. Kudos to you for being a warrior mom. You did a great job!!!

    How nice that the principle was so on board. Often times the school administration does not take this kind of thing seriously. You are so right about the suicide. Look at Columbine, those kids were being bullied regularly.

    So now you can exhale and get a good night sleep. :)
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I ma glad there is a positive outcome to this. The mediation reminds me of the 1st elem school my kids attended in this town. There was a group of kids called "Ambassadors" who took turns being "monitors" on the playground. They mediated conflicts between other kids, took bully reports when kids wouldn't agree/cooperate with-mediation, etc.... There was a different kid on duty each recess. The kids got quite a bit of training that was after school (The counsellor even drove kids home if parents couldn't provide transport for the training!). It is a great program, but not all the schools have counsellors who will implement it.

    You might suggest to the principal that he get Sara and your daughter and some other kids trained to do this kind of mediation.

    I am VERY GLAD this worked out so well.
  8. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm glad that you went in and helped them work it out. It's nice to have a new principal on board that helped them work it out together. :)
  9. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sounds like the principal is right on top of things. So glad things worked out for easy child!