Update!! on counselor who hit son

[SnowAngel]

Apparently when we sign our kids up for public school, we have given the school permission to act on our behalf. The officer said that the counselor can't be charged because he didn't do anything a parent wouldn't do to discipline.??? Go figure. They didn't even notify me that the counselor returned to work. I found out when Peanut came home extremely upset that he saw the counselor in the office.

I have tried explaining my view to the district superintendent, county superintendent, and the state superintendent. It completely falls on deaf ears. My son refuses to go back to school and feels the principal lied to him. Can you imagine how bad he feels?

I totally am moving my kids out of this state. The school system here is unreasonable. Anyway, I appreciate all of you who gave me advice.

 

[Marguerite]

I'm sorry to hear this outcome. I can't speak for your legal system, but I know with ours, a lot of the judges are out of touch with what is now legally acceptable behaviour. Also, standards have changed a lot in recent years, it takes a fair bit for legal authorities at a senior level to stay abreast. At least, here.

You tried. Peanut saw that you tried. That will account for a great deal, more than you realise. You now need to move on, to let Peanut learn to move on. This doesn't mean you pretend it didn't happen - it just means you let this drop, at least for now, and find some way in which Peanut will feel safe and supported.

Is that counsellor still around? Is he still likely to have access to Peanut if he did go back to the school? I strongly suspect that you have made enough fuss for that counsellor to never do anything inappropriate to Peanut again. You have sent a clear message, even if you didn't get the outcome you wanted. And ultimately, the best outcome is for this counsellor to learn to find a better, non-physical way to resolve any issues. With all you've done, you probably don't need to nail this in place, you've done what you could.

The issue now is, Peanut needs to be reassured that he will be safe and treated appropriately. He probably needs to feel supported by the principal as well. Does the principal know how Peanut feels? With a student with anxiety, I would like to think a principal would be doing his utmost to help the student feel less anxious, or at least explain the situation in a way Peanut can understand.

Marg

 

[BusynMember]

I'm shocked, really! If that happened in Wisconsin, the counselor wouldn't have a job. Did you call your State Dept. of Public Education?

 

[SRL]

Why don't you repost on the Special Education board? They might have some advice since this is a school related trauma in a special needs kiddo.

I suspect your only recourse might be hiring an attorney but I don't know that you'll get very far if the state law isn't on your side.

I hope you have a positive outcome but sometimes the lessons we have to help our children learn is that life isn't fair and the bad guy doesn't always get what's due. These aren't easy lessons but it's important to help our kids through them.

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

The others have already given you great advice. This situation is absolutely shocking!!! I think, as the others said, that it is good that Peanut saw you take action. You did everything you could to remedy the situation. Now, all you can do, is explain to Peanut, as others have already said, that life is not always fair. This is a tough lesson for Peanut to have to learn.

Thinking of you...WFEN

 

[SnowAngel]

The principal knows and says " I didn't lie to him", even though I expressed that this was how Peanut felt. This clearly isn't about me. It is about a little boy who can't understand how a counselor and dr tell him mommy can't spank you, but the school lets this counselor do it. He is so confused.

 

[SnowAngel]

Yes, I called everyone starting at the bottom and going to the state. Nobody listened. I do have a b-i-l who works as a camera man for a phoenix news station. I just didn't want to cause peanut more emotional harm.

 

[TerryJ2]

It is about a little boy who can't understand how a counselor and dr tell him mommy can't spank you, but the school lets this counselor do it. He is so confused.

How bizarre.
So sorry.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

What a crock! I am SO mad for you!!

..
..
..
..
..


OOOOO I'd like to act on behalf of the counselor's mom...

 

[CCRidr2]

I wish I could say that I was surprised that it is in the school's code. I found that out a few years back when difficult child was in 1st grade and going into public school for the first time. With easy child 1&2, we never had a need to read the discipline code. I felt I had to with difficult child so that I would know the proper steps.

You will find that in the small print of most SD's "rules" that it IS within their "rights" to corporally punish a child. You have to send a note to school if you DO NOT want your school to use corporal punishment on your child. Fortunately it is not used as much today as it was when we were in school (remember "the paddle") so a lot of people just think it isn't done these days or that it is illegal. It is not.

I would encourage everyone to read their SD's discipline policies very carefully. You should have received a "rights and responsibilities" booklet or something like it with a page to sign and return saying you read it. I used to just sign it and send it back, I never read it. Now I check it every year for revisions before I sign that form because I don't want to be the one told by SD that ignorance of the policy doesn't mean it can't be done. I send a note to school every year to the effect that if my child needs a beating :wink: I will be the one to do it and they should call me.

 

[BusynMember]

Depends on the state. You touch a kid in Wisconsin and you'll be fired and you can probably sue the school district. Same with the schools my kids were in when I lived in Illinois. It just isn't allowed. I think it still goes on mostly in the south, but maybe in some smaller states elsewhere??? I sure wouldn't let it go. I'd HAVE the news on my front step until the school district changed the code so that no other child would get hit. If you move, find a state that doesn't allow corporal punishment in schools. I'm shocked that ANY state still does.