So the kids and I went to visit my Dad yesterday. Within 10 minutes of us being there, my Aunt (Dad's wife - they are cousins once removed) told me that the neighbor, Mr A said that I should got talk to him as soon as I got there. WTF? He's making demands on me? They were a little confused as to what was going on since I didn't fill them in on my conversation, so I filled them in. At first, Aunt was saying that I shouldn't make it no contact, but change the contact (by the way she was seeing the red flags long before I was, and trying to discuss them with me) I managed to explain that changing the contact was way to much work because she had talked to Mr A, I had talked to Mr A, and he still was not getting it. It wasn't my job to teach him how to be and act like a responsible adult. She wholeheartedly agreed. When he realized we were there he called asking me to go talk to him. Fortunately my Dad, the clueless yet blunt one, took the call. I told Dad to tell him that there was nothing to discuss. I as the Mom made a decision and that was that. End of story. The kids did ask why they couldn't hang with Mr A. I told them that ppl aren't always as they appear to be and that I noticed something that was not right, so I'm stopping the contact. They were a bit bummed, but accepted that. DD1 did specifically as what I noticed. I told her that it was a grown up issue, and that it even took me a while to notice it, so as kid, they probably wouldn't understand. BUT It's my job as their Mom to do everything I can to protect them. You kids trust me to do that, right? Yes. If Mom ends up being wrong, they miss out on some fun, but if Mom ends up being right, they end up safe. They were OK with that. What sux for me as their mom is that it seems like I keep sending ppl away from them. I wouldn't have to do that if my family wasn't such a crazy magnet! How the F to I demagnetize us????????? Talking with Aunt, I found out even more background on the neighbor that was even more disturbing. The real reality is that he TRULY does not "get" what he was doing wrong. And it's not just in this situation, but others as well. Aunt has "corrected" him on several things and he gives her this little boy deer in the headlights look, as if he were 5 and truly did not "get" what the consequences would be. He was/is a real difficult child masquerading as a easy child. He is not mentally handicapped, he's actually quite intelligent, he is not Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). In a word - CRAZY. I am embarrassed it took me so long to REALLY put the pieces together, but I am so glad I finally did. Funny thing, Aunt thanked me for this, she felt quite liberated, but also felt an odd Mr A withdrawal. See, whenever she and Dad have company, Mr A just comes over and makes himself at home. Dad doesn't really mind this kind of crazy behavior so he allows it, and she feels helpless to say anything about it. I hope I set an example for both of them that all they have to do is tell him in advance NOT to come over.