Update on difficult child and pregnancy

[Deni]

I haven't been around for a while but wanted to give update. Last time I was here ex husband was not allowing difficult child to talk to me or visit. And I had been denied by the courts to have visitation.

Well my difficult child called me a wk before his 18th birthday telling me he had been living here there and on the streets for 2 wks. He didn't call me bc he didn't think I would let him come back to my house. I took him in, on his birthday he switched schools and things were great....for a while. However, "I'm 18" started and I had to keep telling difficult child I didn't care if he was 30, as long as he lived under my roof, he would follow my rules. He was here for 4 months. Through this time I suspected him lieing about his whereabouts, actions and suspected him shoplifting. I would talk to him, he would swear he wasn't and we would go on. Mid January is when he left, well he was made to leave my home. We had an argument, I took his phone only to find out he was doing drugs and was trying to have them delivered to my house. I was extremely mad! I confronted him and of course he got upset but never denied it at that time. I tried to push door open with my hand and difficult child stopped door with his body. difficult child said, "You assaulted me and I will have you arrested!" (Most of you will remember that difficult child had me locked up by filing false charges on me in Jan 2009. I became enraged and told him that he would not file false charges on me and have me locked up again. I told difficult child to pack his **** and get the **** out of my house. I would not have him in my house even making threats like that. I told difficult child if he wanted to call police, go ahead..."ur 18 now with a history, ur 6'8" and im 5'8" with a innocent verdict on the only charge I have ever rec'd. Not too mention I AM PREGNANT!"

Yep, I said it...I found out on Dec 27, I am pregnant expecting Labor Day!!!

difficult child left and I have not seen him since. I have only text with him through someone else's IPOD. He moved in with-a friend whose mom buys her drugs and allows her to do them. The girl is 15 and is also a difficult child. I am not happy with the situation but he is 18 and I cant stop him from living there. I only hope that he straightens up before it is too late. Not too mention he has been sexually active with this young girl as well.

I want to thank everyone for their continued support even when there have been gaps in my visits to the board. This is a wonderful place and I am sure I will be around.

 

[TerryJ2]

Thank you for the update, Deni. Sounds like your difficult child is really making a mess of things. I am so sorry.

I kind of remember the part about the trumped up charges and all that you went through.

I am confused. If your husband is your ex-husband, do you have a boyfriend? Is that who the SO is?

I agree, that if difficult child is violent, he needs to stay away from you.

 

[DDD]

Wow, Deni, obviously you've been too busy to post. Good Greif. I'm so sorry that you had all that trauma but it sure sounds like you handled it appropriately. Congrats on the upcoming addition. Are you excited? Thanks for the update. You've been gone but not forgotten, lol. DDD

 

[Wiped Out]

I agree it sounds like you handled everything well. Congrats on your pregnancy!

 

[Deni]

I was engaged for almost 3 years. SO and I had agreed that he would move back to Houston and we would try to work on things bc there were lots of problems. That one last time was IT! SO moved to Houston Xmas Eve and I found out I was pregnant Dec 27. 2 weeks later I ask SO about coming back since we had baby on the way and give this a shot, he told me that he didn't think it was a good idea. A week after that I found out he was talking to 2 other women. He made promises he would not talk to any other females and such and we have been talking. Just not sure I can ever trust him again as this is the 2nd time. The 1st time he cheated he lived in my house. He has been in Houston for over a month and still hasn't found a job and he doesn't seem to be in any big hurry. I will more than likely be doing this alone and honestly that is okay with me. SO has 3 other kids by 3 different mommas that he has nothing to do with so I am not nieve enough to believe my child will be any different.

DDD, as far as being excited...I am super excited! Of course that came after the initial shock of OMG, wth???? lol I actually lost a daughter before I had difficult child and have mourned her loss for years. It has taken me 20 years to be "ok". I know God took her for a reason. She would have been down syndrome and I was only 15. There is no way I could have handled that at that age. This baby is such a blessing and I can't wait for her/his arrival. I am hoping for a girl but won't find out until April.

 

[DDD]

I'm happy that you are excited and full of anticipation . That's wonderful and I am positive you will be an awesome parent for your newborn. At exactly your age I "thought" I was pregnant. Goodness gracious I can't describe the relief of finding out I was wrong. LOL! Hugs, DDD

 

[Deni]

I was told in 2002 that my chances of conceiving again were slim to none. I tried throughout the years regardless. The timing sucks, on the other hand I am thankful that I didn't have another child while I was dealing with difficult child bc I stayed stressed out and I will admit...I am OVER the pregnancy already. I am nauseous ALL the time and tireeeeddd! I'm hoping it gets better with the 2nd trimester. I will tell anyone and everyone....do NOT wait till your 30's to get pregnant, we weren't meant to have kids this old...lol

 

[Ktllc]

Deni, nice meeting you. Your last reply made me laugh! I am a bit younger, but my pregancies are still fresh in my mind: it sucks!!! I hear those women saying how wonderful it is to be pregnant. Nope, not me: I'm miserable when pregnant.
I do believe you did the right thing with your difficult child.
And now, not only do you need to protect yourself but also baby to come.
Congratulations.

 

[Deni]

Ktllc,
Them ladies who say being pregnant is so great and how they love being pregnant...I want some of what they are on bc there is nothing glorious about being pg. Also, I keep waiting for that beautiful glow...well that hasnt shown up either.

Thanks for your encouraging words with my difficult child. It isn't easy but I feel like he had it made here...my main rule was NO DRUGS! He still wanted everything his way and it wasn't going to be that way. It was my way or the highway...my child or not! I will not be abused anymore, I don't have to put up with it. Please don't get me wrong, I love my difficult child with all my heart and that will never change but could not risk him trying to put me back in jail. difficult child refuses to call me unless I get him a phone. He had a phone when he lived here and I told him that if he left on bad terms, he would not take it with him and I meant just that. I refuse to provide him with a phone to do his drug deals...I will NOT be an enabler!

 

[InsaneCdn]

Deni - Can't give much advice about your difficult child, but... being PG in your 30s? been there done that x 2. And...

I had the most success with this the second time around, because it was second nature by then. But it really helps.

You will find that allowing yourself to get hungry will fuel major nausea. By the time you are hungry, your blood sugar is already to low, and then you end up with blood-sugar yo-yos. Which means... nausea going up, and nausea going down. So. Time to control that blood sugar. Eat before you even get out of bed. Maybe a couple of arrowroot cookies and a drinking box of apple juice (I found that apple juice worked best for this... it tastes good at any temperature!). ALWAYS eat breakfast. And lunch. And supper, and a snack in between each, and a bedtime snack. Forget about calories - just make sure that everything you eat is packed with food value... so, no candy, but no problem enjoying dried fruit, nut, trail mix... (and those pack well!)

And then... if you can stand strong ginger, go get some "travellers candy" - is basically ginger and sugar, but it is real ginger, not ginger-flavor. And the ginger is well known to help nausea... and is safe during pregnancy. (my ob-gyn was in on the study into that...) If you can't stand ginger, peppermint tea also helps.