I dont know how to describe the pain of having a child who willingly choses to leave your home. I don't how to describe the added pain that is involved when your own parents show up to support it. I can't begin to describe the frustration of trying to explain to a child that leaving will rip an irreparable hole in the family. I can't describe how hard it is to hear that your child is willing to rip the family to shreds in order to make herself happy. That she is aware things will never be the same and that we will most likely lose any relationship we have ever had. I can't explain how it feels to have to tell your younger child that her sister doesn't want to live here anymore. I really can't explain how to do all this with your husband in a war zone unable to communicate with you on a regular basis. All I can say is I feel dead inside. I am completely conflicted about what to do. I am furious with my parents for enabling my child to pick up and leave while knowing that I did not support that decision. I am more furious that my husband has had to threaten to bring in the legal system for them to return her. Their lack of understanding that my husband is on another continent and that we can't communicate and therefore our feelings may not be 100% in alignment. I didn't think anything could rip my relationship with my mother and father any more than her mental health already has but this has done damage that we may never survive. Knowing that the two people who are supposed to love and support you more than anything in the world feel you are a bad parent and feel they have the right to take your child from you is like being gutted. I am unwilling to drag my parents into court over this but have made it clear that I want her returned. I did however break down last night after hours of grueling comments and tell difficult child that I could not physically make her return and I would transfer her school records. Of course hours later her father ordered her home via a Facebook discussion and I respect his decision. He is legally her father and has the right. I feel the same way however I am so emotionally drained at this point that I don't have it in me to fight any longer. Knowing that the child you have fought, cried, and bled for hates you is so painful I don't know how I will survive. I know that no part of me will ever feel whole without her in my life. I can't believe I am facing one of the best days of an Army wife's life, the homecoming, and I am terrified to go pick my husband up because he will know when he sees me that I am not whole. I don't even know if he will be able to love me if I have ruined this family while he is gone. I sought guidance from my therapist and difficult child's therapist and neither felt that I needed in patient care they felt I needed to come in on a regular basis for out patient care. difficult child's therapist also agreed to mediate family therapy in order for us to learn to communicate better. Of course difficult child feels this is a waste of time and is refusing to participate. I am taking a few days off work in order to get a grip on my depression and get my feet back under myself. I guess my question is when do you give up? When do you walk away? Can you ever walk away? Will the pain ever end if I have to? Will my marriage and my younger child survive this? Will my heart survive this pain? And NO I am not suicidal. Even though that might be easier than feeling this pain I would never leave my children without a mother or my husband without a wife intentionally.