Update on difficult child and wing spreading

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by amstrong, May 29, 2007.

  1. amstrong

    amstrong New Member

    Well, he called Friday evening and said that he was sorry that he had worried us and that he got an earful from his boss for not coming in. He said he was ready to be responsible and come home. I told him that husband was going to bed at 8:00 and that if he wanted us to consider his living at home again, he'd best be home before then to discuss it. He got there at 6:30. We fed him dinner and sat down to talk. Once again, we all had input and he agreed (on paper) that he will live in our home, have a curfew, spend the nite away from home no more than 2 days consecutively (he acknowledged that when he spends the nite away for more than 2 days, his attitude gets sucky and it is not good for him), do his laundry and room/bathroom cleaning on days off, without fail, no more temper tantrums, trash talk or cussing. He was told he no longer has to check in with us as and for now until he gets classified as a full time employee, there will be no rent. Once he is classified as full time, he will pay $25 per week. He readily signed this agreement and was given a copy to be posted in his room on his bulletin board. He thanked us and asked husband's advice on car repair issues.

    He has been given 48 hours at work this week and was told that if he does well over the next 60 days, he will be classified as a full time employee. He spent the nite at one of his "good" friend's last nite and was home at 10:30 this morning to shower and get ready to be a work at 12.30. This is progress. He didn't say it in so many words but indicated that maybe the "not so good" friend that he was going to live with, isn't real good for him. Well, duh!?!

    What he does not know is that when he begins paying us rent, husband will put that oney aside to be used for when he really gets out on his own. He was, however, told that if he pulls this junk again, he will not be coming back. He said he knew that and that he was sorry, his words were, "I just had my head up my @$$" Yeah, up to his shoulders!

    husband and I also have kissed an made up and acknowledged that we both get so frustrated and take it out on each other which has to stop. He and I spent good quality time together this long weekend just hanging around the pool and doing some shopping and eating dinner out a couple of nites.

    I am going to start seeing a family counselor who is familiar with mine and difficult child's history one weekly starting next week.

    I appreciate all of your kind and wise words. This has passed--on to the next hurdle!

    Hugs,
     
  2. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    aw Robyn, it is all good! so glad things are in place. you sound so much more at peace.
     
  3. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    It sounds like a good plan I hope he works it! -RM
     
  4. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Glad to hear his attitude is improving. Hopefully it stays this way and the living home again will work out.
     
  5. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    Sounds like a plan :bravo:
     
  6. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    Sounds like you and husband had some much needed time alone, glad you two made a point to reconnect.

    Very smart to put everything in writing and have him sign it.

    Someone here told me to be ready for my son to test the rules, so I am passing it on to you.


    You need your :warrior: on now


    We are here for you, hope he lives by the rules
     
Loading...