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Update on difficult child, bad attitude but still doing right things
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 550548" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I'm still undecided if I should inform difficult child's team about the anxiety attack. There are some complicating factors. First of course is, that I can't know for sure it was an anxiety attack and difficult child denies that. If it was, difficult child may be technically committing breach of contract by not reporting (his contract states he has to immediately inform his team of any medical or other reason that could interfere to his ability as an athlete.) Full-blown panic attack would certainly be something he would be obliged to report, just high anxiety is more iffy. But not telling is certainly against his zero tolerance for lying, fibbing and withholding information-program. So if I report, difficult child may well be in trouble. They will not go with breach of contract (it's not like they would be willing to get rid of difficult child) but he would likely have some consequences because his zero tolerance program. Best of course would be, if difficult child would report himself. Few days late would likely bring him a scolding and some minor punishment, but nothing more. I'm thinking of telling difficult child I plan to take a matter up with his coach when I talk with him next time and let difficult child decide if he wants to man up, tell himself first and get off with lighter consequences. On the other hand I wouldn't want to be the one who rats him out. I do want him to trust me, even if it means I get that kind of phone calls. I don't enjoy them but they are the better alternative than many other ways he could deal with his anxiety. </p><p></p><p>difficult child's practise final scores should be back tomorrow. That will be very informative about his school situation and I hope it will help difficult child to come up a workable plan with studying still needed before the real things. </p><p></p><p>Mattsmom: You are right about calling home and venting, feeling better after that and not even thinking that parent is left to worry being quite common procedure for young adults. I found out Monday that I wasn't the only one who got venting call at Sunday night. One of my work mates, who has a daughter who is just month older than my difficult child, got one too. And her daughter is one of those super PCs I have always been so jealous of. She started University and after first week she was freaking out. She is used to being a big fish in the small pond and reality of the University there she isn't the smartest kid around any more and there pace and difficulty of study gets much worse freaked her out a little bit. I was emphatic for her mother and I'm really sure she will do just fine and love her studies a month from now, but secretly I felt much better that it is not only my problem kid who does things like that but also other people's perfect kids.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 550548, member: 14557"] I'm still undecided if I should inform difficult child's team about the anxiety attack. There are some complicating factors. First of course is, that I can't know for sure it was an anxiety attack and difficult child denies that. If it was, difficult child may be technically committing breach of contract by not reporting (his contract states he has to immediately inform his team of any medical or other reason that could interfere to his ability as an athlete.) Full-blown panic attack would certainly be something he would be obliged to report, just high anxiety is more iffy. But not telling is certainly against his zero tolerance for lying, fibbing and withholding information-program. So if I report, difficult child may well be in trouble. They will not go with breach of contract (it's not like they would be willing to get rid of difficult child) but he would likely have some consequences because his zero tolerance program. Best of course would be, if difficult child would report himself. Few days late would likely bring him a scolding and some minor punishment, but nothing more. I'm thinking of telling difficult child I plan to take a matter up with his coach when I talk with him next time and let difficult child decide if he wants to man up, tell himself first and get off with lighter consequences. On the other hand I wouldn't want to be the one who rats him out. I do want him to trust me, even if it means I get that kind of phone calls. I don't enjoy them but they are the better alternative than many other ways he could deal with his anxiety. difficult child's practise final scores should be back tomorrow. That will be very informative about his school situation and I hope it will help difficult child to come up a workable plan with studying still needed before the real things. Mattsmom: You are right about calling home and venting, feeling better after that and not even thinking that parent is left to worry being quite common procedure for young adults. I found out Monday that I wasn't the only one who got venting call at Sunday night. One of my work mates, who has a daughter who is just month older than my difficult child, got one too. And her daughter is one of those super PCs I have always been so jealous of. She started University and after first week she was freaking out. She is used to being a big fish in the small pond and reality of the University there she isn't the smartest kid around any more and there pace and difficulty of study gets much worse freaked her out a little bit. I was emphatic for her mother and I'm really sure she will do just fine and love her studies a month from now, but secretly I felt much better that it is not only my problem kid who does things like that but also other people's perfect kids. [/QUOTE]
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Update on difficult child, bad attitude but still doing right things
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