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update on difficult child in Foster Care
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<blockquote data-quote="barneysmom" data-source="post: 374881" data-attributes="member: 1872"><p>Jody, so good to hear that good things are happening and that all three of you are doing some healing during this break. Our gfg17 was out of our home for 7 months (he's transitioning back now). It was hard, but looking back I can see that it was absolutely necessary for this to happen, if we had any hope of remaining a family. I was just reading something about the chaos theory -- that sometimes absolute chaos, even destruction, must occur, before things can rearrange themselves back into any type of order. Two characters in the book I am reading (actually I am re-reading Wally Lamb's "I Know This Much Is True") were talking about the Hindu god/dess Shiva, who is the god of destruction -- destruction which ultimately leads to creation of something new and fresh. Kind of like forest fires which burn down a lot of trees, but only then can new growth occur.</p><p></p><p>Anyway. Enjoy your time. Don't lose site of the fact that it is forward movement. And that you won't ever go back to the way it was, no matter what.</p><p></p><p>Regarding being mentally changed -- I felt for quite awhile that I was permanently changed -- damaged -- by the violence that occurred in our home. But I am surprised to realize that I am healing. I'm not the same as I was, and I do kind of miss that person who didn't have to go through all the suffering, grief and shock. But I think the "new me" will be OK too (more gray hairs though).</p><p></p><p>Hugs -- enjoy -- relax</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="barneysmom, post: 374881, member: 1872"] Jody, so good to hear that good things are happening and that all three of you are doing some healing during this break. Our gfg17 was out of our home for 7 months (he's transitioning back now). It was hard, but looking back I can see that it was absolutely necessary for this to happen, if we had any hope of remaining a family. I was just reading something about the chaos theory -- that sometimes absolute chaos, even destruction, must occur, before things can rearrange themselves back into any type of order. Two characters in the book I am reading (actually I am re-reading Wally Lamb's "I Know This Much Is True") were talking about the Hindu god/dess Shiva, who is the god of destruction -- destruction which ultimately leads to creation of something new and fresh. Kind of like forest fires which burn down a lot of trees, but only then can new growth occur. Anyway. Enjoy your time. Don't lose site of the fact that it is forward movement. And that you won't ever go back to the way it was, no matter what. Regarding being mentally changed -- I felt for quite awhile that I was permanently changed -- damaged -- by the violence that occurred in our home. But I am surprised to realize that I am healing. I'm not the same as I was, and I do kind of miss that person who didn't have to go through all the suffering, grief and shock. But I think the "new me" will be OK too (more gray hairs though). Hugs -- enjoy -- relax [/QUOTE]
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