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Parent Emeritus
Update on difficult child -we are in Colorado and it just went pear-shaped...
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 598430" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>No, you were not wrong in bringing your son to another state. What you are doing is giving your difficult child one last chance at life.</p><p></p><p>What he is telling you is that he isn't going to take it.</p><p></p><p>What he is telling you, and in no uncertain terms, either, is that you are going to drive him home, and things are going to go on EXACTLY as they were, before. Only this time, you will not have the luxury of an option. This time, if you give in to him now, you will not have even the dream of sending difficult child somewhere safe, or of ever being safe again, yourself.</p><p></p><p>difficult child is manipulating you. It sounds to me like that was his intention from the very first time you suggested moving him to another state.</p><p></p><p>You need to tell ex-husband the truth. And then, before difficult child ever gets back from his assignation, you need to leave.</p><p></p><p>Or don't tell husband. But leave before difficult child returns.</p><p></p><p>That way, difficult child will walk the straight and narrow, if that is what is required for him to stay where he is. He will never do it, if he can manipulate you into taking him home. </p><p></p><p>Or, if he can start a fight, so husband will not let you leave him there.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry this is happening. Sometimes, we need to make tough, tough choices. But if you look at it another way blackgnat, isn't there somewhere in your heart where you know that this is what you half-expected? Not what you hoped would happen, but something you were afraid would happen?</p><p></p><p>You need to give your son this chance, blackgnat.</p><p></p><p>For most of us, here on the site, we have had to come to that same place you are, now. We have had to do our best, acknowledge that our child is not making it from home, and send them away. For most of us, when we send our child away or turn our child away...they literally have nowhere else to go. </p><p></p><p>And sometimes, we save their lives by doing that.</p><p></p><p>And sometimes, we lose our children.</p><p></p><p>But we have to do what we can to give them a chance.</p><p></p><p>How old is your son? </p><p></p><p>Possible to rent him an apartment for a few months in Colorado?</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 598430, member: 1721"] No, you were not wrong in bringing your son to another state. What you are doing is giving your difficult child one last chance at life. What he is telling you is that he isn't going to take it. What he is telling you, and in no uncertain terms, either, is that you are going to drive him home, and things are going to go on EXACTLY as they were, before. Only this time, you will not have the luxury of an option. This time, if you give in to him now, you will not have even the dream of sending difficult child somewhere safe, or of ever being safe again, yourself. difficult child is manipulating you. It sounds to me like that was his intention from the very first time you suggested moving him to another state. You need to tell ex-husband the truth. And then, before difficult child ever gets back from his assignation, you need to leave. Or don't tell husband. But leave before difficult child returns. That way, difficult child will walk the straight and narrow, if that is what is required for him to stay where he is. He will never do it, if he can manipulate you into taking him home. Or, if he can start a fight, so husband will not let you leave him there. I'm sorry this is happening. Sometimes, we need to make tough, tough choices. But if you look at it another way blackgnat, isn't there somewhere in your heart where you know that this is what you half-expected? Not what you hoped would happen, but something you were afraid would happen? You need to give your son this chance, blackgnat. For most of us, here on the site, we have had to come to that same place you are, now. We have had to do our best, acknowledge that our child is not making it from home, and send them away. For most of us, when we send our child away or turn our child away...they literally have nowhere else to go. And sometimes, we save their lives by doing that. And sometimes, we lose our children. But we have to do what we can to give them a chance. How old is your son? Possible to rent him an apartment for a few months in Colorado? Barbara [/QUOTE]
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Update on difficult child -we are in Colorado and it just went pear-shaped...
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