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Parent Emeritus
Update on difficult child -we are in Colorado and it just went pear-shaped...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 598575" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Leaving difficult child there is the best thing for him and you. best for ex? who cares? He doesn't seem to care about anyone, so you shouldn't waste time on him. difficult child has a CHANCE in a new area, and that is all you could EVER give him. What he does with it is NOT your problem. </p><p></p><p>WHen you leave, do NOT allow difficult child to get into your car. Call the cops if he tries to get in. Seriously, if you take him back with you, he will have zero chance. difficult child can find drugs, strangers, bad things anywhere, but in a new area he has a chance to find good things. Back in your state, he won't even bother to look, the old things will be the easy things.</p><p></p><p>You did NOT do anything wrong by taking difficult child to his father. NOTHING. work to end that guilt because it is not yours.</p><p></p><p>You can go to alanon meetings anywhere. Heck, use your computer or phone to find meetings in towns you will drive through on yoru trip. Take a long meal break and go to a meeting rather than shop or sightsee. Or in addition to shopping/sight seeing. Alanon seems a bit easier to find than NA family meetings, but if you prefer, go to those.</p><p></p><p>I don't know how much you know about meetings, but when you start there are things that can make it easy to find the best fit for you. Each meeting at each location has a different feel. Some won't be right for you, some will. To start out, aim to go to 7 meetings in 7 days. NOT the same time/place for each. Go back to the ones that feel good. Then aim for 30 in 30, and do it again, and again. If you commit, and go to different meetings so you find the ones in your area and which of those feels right for you, you will be SHOCKED at how much better you feel after a meeting. been there done that and the changes it helped me to make are still amazing.</p><p></p><p>You truly have gone above and beyond to help your kids. Now they are adults and you need to focus on YOU. why not become enmeshed with yourself?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 598575, member: 1233"] Leaving difficult child there is the best thing for him and you. best for ex? who cares? He doesn't seem to care about anyone, so you shouldn't waste time on him. difficult child has a CHANCE in a new area, and that is all you could EVER give him. What he does with it is NOT your problem. WHen you leave, do NOT allow difficult child to get into your car. Call the cops if he tries to get in. Seriously, if you take him back with you, he will have zero chance. difficult child can find drugs, strangers, bad things anywhere, but in a new area he has a chance to find good things. Back in your state, he won't even bother to look, the old things will be the easy things. You did NOT do anything wrong by taking difficult child to his father. NOTHING. work to end that guilt because it is not yours. You can go to alanon meetings anywhere. Heck, use your computer or phone to find meetings in towns you will drive through on yoru trip. Take a long meal break and go to a meeting rather than shop or sightsee. Or in addition to shopping/sight seeing. Alanon seems a bit easier to find than NA family meetings, but if you prefer, go to those. I don't know how much you know about meetings, but when you start there are things that can make it easy to find the best fit for you. Each meeting at each location has a different feel. Some won't be right for you, some will. To start out, aim to go to 7 meetings in 7 days. NOT the same time/place for each. Go back to the ones that feel good. Then aim for 30 in 30, and do it again, and again. If you commit, and go to different meetings so you find the ones in your area and which of those feels right for you, you will be SHOCKED at how much better you feel after a meeting. been there done that and the changes it helped me to make are still amazing. You truly have gone above and beyond to help your kids. Now they are adults and you need to focus on YOU. why not become enmeshed with yourself? [/QUOTE]
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Update on difficult child -we are in Colorado and it just went pear-shaped...
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