WaveringFaith
Member
Good morning all.. I thought I would provide a quick update on how my difficult child is doing since I kicked him out last week due to his recent outburst. Quick recap: He's been depressed for 2 years, came back to live with me last year, has done absolutely nothing with his life except be an anti-social living zombie in my home. We've tried therapists, different medications, he's had opportunities to get a job and never follows through. Last straw was an angry argument we had where I decided to quit enabling him and he snapped by yelling profanity in my face and throwing a chair across the room. He never put his hands on me, but I did feel fear he might. So that was it, I kicked him out and he ended up at my parents house an hour away where he's been since Tuesday of last week.
My parents haven't been giving me regular updates as I requested not to know. He needs to find his way and in my effort to detach myself (for the sake and sanity of myself and my 10yr easy child, I felt I just didn't want to know at this time). I knew he was safe and that was enough for me. difficult child sent me an email a few days ago expressing sincere apologies for his out of character outburst. I posted about this previously. He asked nothing more than my forgiveness and agreed he should stay away while he tries to get his life together. I did end up replying back to him, very short and to the point, but still loving - as many of you suggested. Basically just saying I appreciated his apology and that I agreed he needs to focus on getting his life together and we can talk about how we'll move forward when he does that. I told him I loved him and that me and his little brother will be rooting for him. He didn't reply, but I know he read it and it probably put him at ease that we are at least on okay terms. I felt good after our email exchange. And I've just hoped that he will follow through, and continued working on detaching and going about me and easy child's little life.
Well, last night my dad called me to give me an update. Even though I told myself I didn't want to know curiosity got the best of me. What my dad ended up telling me left me speechless. difficult child seems to have made a complete turnaround from the boy that we have all known the past 2 years. He has been getting up early every morning to go work out at the local gym, he makes his own breakfast, cleans up, is engaging in conversation with my parents, going places with them - in Public! That alone amazed me. He has been anti-social for almost a whole year. When we would go out, anywhere, he couldn't make eye contact with people, and I could see his anxiety. So he became a reclusive zombie. So I couldn't believe my ears. My dad continued by saying they go to lunch and dinner at restaurants and difficult child talks to the wait staff and even FLIRTS with girls his age (this is unheard of with him)! He has gotten all dressed up and been going to job interviews and applying to jobs online like crazy. He went and bought a lot of vitamins at the health food store. He's basically reverted back to the same boy he was BEFORE the depression hit him 2 years ago. This is the person he was, and the same things he did.
I do not know how to take this information. I later called my mom to verify all that my dad said and she agreed with it all. She said she is shocked by the change also. "He looks and acts just like a regular kid his age, like he always used to be.." she said. We discussed the possibility that maybe he's "on something" that is making him have this high. But she said that she has had in depth conversations with him the past week and she can see he is calm, not manic, no crazy eyes, he's been consistent in behavior, maybe only a few times where he went back to his room to be alone, but was always coming out and acting the same positive behavior. Part of me wants to think that kicking him out really DID make him snap and turn his life around. But what does this mean about the mental illness I thought he had all this time? He was like an invalid in my home, unable to get out of bed and be functional. He's clearly off the medications he had been taking while in my care (wellbutrin xl).
My parents seem to think that it's because he is back in our hometown in their house, which is "home sweet home". That he might feel safer there, he grew up there when he was little (we later moved to Arkansas where he made his high school friendships). But as a little boy, the was our safe town, this is where he is comfy. He knows he way around the little town, not like the big city where I live, he never liked it. So basically... I'm at a loss. My mom doesn't want to get her hopes up - as I do not either. She still feels he may wake up tomorrow and that will be the end of this good streak, and he'll go back to zombie life. I fear the same. Then I think maybe he's bipolar and he is in the manic stage. But he's not showing all symptoms of that condition. This has been since Tuesday of last week. If he gets a job soon while he's on this positive momentum, I feel that he would succeed.
Any thoughts or feedback on what in the world is happening? I'm so amazed and still in shock. If you could only have seen the way he has been the past year in my home. Then I think.. was I doing something that was keeping him from progressing? How can he just improve overnight in this way? Was his "mental illness" just a cover for his laziness? Was it for attention? Or did he truly have depression and my kicking him out really did what I had hoped it would - make him take action on his life?!
My parents haven't been giving me regular updates as I requested not to know. He needs to find his way and in my effort to detach myself (for the sake and sanity of myself and my 10yr easy child, I felt I just didn't want to know at this time). I knew he was safe and that was enough for me. difficult child sent me an email a few days ago expressing sincere apologies for his out of character outburst. I posted about this previously. He asked nothing more than my forgiveness and agreed he should stay away while he tries to get his life together. I did end up replying back to him, very short and to the point, but still loving - as many of you suggested. Basically just saying I appreciated his apology and that I agreed he needs to focus on getting his life together and we can talk about how we'll move forward when he does that. I told him I loved him and that me and his little brother will be rooting for him. He didn't reply, but I know he read it and it probably put him at ease that we are at least on okay terms. I felt good after our email exchange. And I've just hoped that he will follow through, and continued working on detaching and going about me and easy child's little life.
Well, last night my dad called me to give me an update. Even though I told myself I didn't want to know curiosity got the best of me. What my dad ended up telling me left me speechless. difficult child seems to have made a complete turnaround from the boy that we have all known the past 2 years. He has been getting up early every morning to go work out at the local gym, he makes his own breakfast, cleans up, is engaging in conversation with my parents, going places with them - in Public! That alone amazed me. He has been anti-social for almost a whole year. When we would go out, anywhere, he couldn't make eye contact with people, and I could see his anxiety. So he became a reclusive zombie. So I couldn't believe my ears. My dad continued by saying they go to lunch and dinner at restaurants and difficult child talks to the wait staff and even FLIRTS with girls his age (this is unheard of with him)! He has gotten all dressed up and been going to job interviews and applying to jobs online like crazy. He went and bought a lot of vitamins at the health food store. He's basically reverted back to the same boy he was BEFORE the depression hit him 2 years ago. This is the person he was, and the same things he did.
I do not know how to take this information. I later called my mom to verify all that my dad said and she agreed with it all. She said she is shocked by the change also. "He looks and acts just like a regular kid his age, like he always used to be.." she said. We discussed the possibility that maybe he's "on something" that is making him have this high. But she said that she has had in depth conversations with him the past week and she can see he is calm, not manic, no crazy eyes, he's been consistent in behavior, maybe only a few times where he went back to his room to be alone, but was always coming out and acting the same positive behavior. Part of me wants to think that kicking him out really DID make him snap and turn his life around. But what does this mean about the mental illness I thought he had all this time? He was like an invalid in my home, unable to get out of bed and be functional. He's clearly off the medications he had been taking while in my care (wellbutrin xl).
My parents seem to think that it's because he is back in our hometown in their house, which is "home sweet home". That he might feel safer there, he grew up there when he was little (we later moved to Arkansas where he made his high school friendships). But as a little boy, the was our safe town, this is where he is comfy. He knows he way around the little town, not like the big city where I live, he never liked it. So basically... I'm at a loss. My mom doesn't want to get her hopes up - as I do not either. She still feels he may wake up tomorrow and that will be the end of this good streak, and he'll go back to zombie life. I fear the same. Then I think maybe he's bipolar and he is in the manic stage. But he's not showing all symptoms of that condition. This has been since Tuesday of last week. If he gets a job soon while he's on this positive momentum, I feel that he would succeed.
Any thoughts or feedback on what in the world is happening? I'm so amazed and still in shock. If you could only have seen the way he has been the past year in my home. Then I think.. was I doing something that was keeping him from progressing? How can he just improve overnight in this way? Was his "mental illness" just a cover for his laziness? Was it for attention? Or did he truly have depression and my kicking him out really did what I had hoped it would - make him take action on his life?!
