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Update on difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="missy44" data-source="post: 266259" data-attributes="member: 6201"><p>well, another update. some good, some bad, but better than it was a few weeks back.</p><p>my son is still talking regularly with my friend (counsellor) but hasn't seen the drug counsellor in a few weeks. he told my difficult child that he doesn't believe he has a drug problem but is very depressed and to call him if he feels he needs to see him, otherwise he'll see him every 2 or 3 weeks.</p><p> </p><p>my difficult child has moved out, is on social assistance and is lonely, depressed, but is keeping in touch with us. he finally got a job which i was so happy about, but now the real work begins, he's having trouble staying focused and is unhappy. duh, he hasn't done anything with his life in the past year. he's doing construction (mon-fri 7-5) and has only been working since last Friday and already didn't show up to work on monday. he went back in on tuesday and they said they would give him another chance. i'm not holding my breath that he'll keep the job, everyday i have to talk to him, tell him how well he's doing and remind him that this is only temporty (until he finds something else) and it isn't for the rest of his life.</p><p> </p><p>his appointment with the psyc is on May 5th, hopefully they can get to some of his issues and possibly medicate him for depression (fingers crossed).</p><p> </p><p>he isn't keeping up with the gym as much as he should be, but he's trying and goes with his little brother at least once a week. he has come for dinner a few times and spent easter with us, visiting family, it was a nice day.</p><p> </p><p>he tells me he's a grown up, don't worry about my anymore mom, but he's so irrational. i mean, who just doesn't show up to work, doesn't call in and yet has bills to pay! </p><p> </p><p>tonight he called me, crying, he worked for 13 hours, he didn't take a lunch with him and he just hated the day. i guess some of the guys weren't overly nice (mind you they were probably ****** that he didn't show up to work on monday) and he asked me to pick him up. he sounded desperate, so i picked him up, took him for some pizza, talked him out of not going tomorrow, told him i loved him, hugged him, brought him home and let him make a decent lunch for himself tomorrow and took him to his "room". his grandparents are giving him a used tv on friday so he'll have something at his place (he's so bored and lonely, the tv might help keep him home and give him something to do). my husband and i have decided that we're going to give him back his laptop that we bought him for college (we were holding out until he decides to go back to school but our counsellor told us that our thoughts might be unreasonable and it might help keep him at home and occupied), we've told him that he needs to keep his job or he has to give us back the laptop.</p><p> </p><p>on a good note, my difficult child is crying now, the anger is gone. he has told me he loves me more in the last 3 weeks then he has in the last 4 years. i've hugged him so much and i have hope... i know we have many more bumps in the road, and he might not keep this job, and he will fall on his face again, but for right now he's so much better than he was and i have actually seen my "real" son from time to time in the past few weeks. i've missed him so much... </p><p> </p><p>i'm exhausted mentally and physically, i'm trying to detach yet remain available for things that will help him. i drive him to all of his appointments and job searches. i have him for dinner whenever he wants and i don't mind letting him come to our home to make a good lunch for himself. in some ways i go to far (like giving him wake up calls in the morning for work) but i'm trying to stop that... i told him tonight, i'm not giving you a wake up call (i didn't this morning either) and he said "mom, you don't need to worry about me, I"ll be fine. don't worry about calling me in the am". And then he said "your hair looks really nice" (i was at a wonderful hair appointment tonight when he called in complete panic mode). <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> </p><p> </p><p>thanks all for listening.. any thoughts are always appreciated.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="missy44, post: 266259, member: 6201"] well, another update. some good, some bad, but better than it was a few weeks back. my son is still talking regularly with my friend (counsellor) but hasn't seen the drug counsellor in a few weeks. he told my difficult child that he doesn't believe he has a drug problem but is very depressed and to call him if he feels he needs to see him, otherwise he'll see him every 2 or 3 weeks. my difficult child has moved out, is on social assistance and is lonely, depressed, but is keeping in touch with us. he finally got a job which i was so happy about, but now the real work begins, he's having trouble staying focused and is unhappy. duh, he hasn't done anything with his life in the past year. he's doing construction (mon-fri 7-5) and has only been working since last Friday and already didn't show up to work on monday. he went back in on tuesday and they said they would give him another chance. i'm not holding my breath that he'll keep the job, everyday i have to talk to him, tell him how well he's doing and remind him that this is only temporty (until he finds something else) and it isn't for the rest of his life. his appointment with the psyc is on May 5th, hopefully they can get to some of his issues and possibly medicate him for depression (fingers crossed). he isn't keeping up with the gym as much as he should be, but he's trying and goes with his little brother at least once a week. he has come for dinner a few times and spent easter with us, visiting family, it was a nice day. he tells me he's a grown up, don't worry about my anymore mom, but he's so irrational. i mean, who just doesn't show up to work, doesn't call in and yet has bills to pay! tonight he called me, crying, he worked for 13 hours, he didn't take a lunch with him and he just hated the day. i guess some of the guys weren't overly nice (mind you they were probably ****** that he didn't show up to work on monday) and he asked me to pick him up. he sounded desperate, so i picked him up, took him for some pizza, talked him out of not going tomorrow, told him i loved him, hugged him, brought him home and let him make a decent lunch for himself tomorrow and took him to his "room". his grandparents are giving him a used tv on friday so he'll have something at his place (he's so bored and lonely, the tv might help keep him home and give him something to do). my husband and i have decided that we're going to give him back his laptop that we bought him for college (we were holding out until he decides to go back to school but our counsellor told us that our thoughts might be unreasonable and it might help keep him at home and occupied), we've told him that he needs to keep his job or he has to give us back the laptop. on a good note, my difficult child is crying now, the anger is gone. he has told me he loves me more in the last 3 weeks then he has in the last 4 years. i've hugged him so much and i have hope... i know we have many more bumps in the road, and he might not keep this job, and he will fall on his face again, but for right now he's so much better than he was and i have actually seen my "real" son from time to time in the past few weeks. i've missed him so much... i'm exhausted mentally and physically, i'm trying to detach yet remain available for things that will help him. i drive him to all of his appointments and job searches. i have him for dinner whenever he wants and i don't mind letting him come to our home to make a good lunch for himself. in some ways i go to far (like giving him wake up calls in the morning for work) but i'm trying to stop that... i told him tonight, i'm not giving you a wake up call (i didn't this morning either) and he said "mom, you don't need to worry about me, I"ll be fine. don't worry about calling me in the am". And then he said "your hair looks really nice" (i was at a wonderful hair appointment tonight when he called in complete panic mode). :) thanks all for listening.. any thoughts are always appreciated. [/QUOTE]
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