I just went back through your old posts to make sure I had a good 'handle' on what has been going on.
I am amazed that the Defense Attorney is permitted to call you like this, to pressure you. Surely that constitutes harassment of witnesses? Can you get an order requiring the bloke to only approach you through the State Attorney's office? Even for mundane things such as, "difficult child 1 has asked you to provide a replacement toothbrush."
If you are in fear, and someone representing the person you are afraid of is calling you to pressure you to change your story, then surely that is going to aggravate your fear and add another person to the list of people responsible for traumatising you?
And on another tack - I'm just about finished reading a book by Australian journalist Anne Deveson, about her son Jonathon's struggle with schizophrenia. Much of her book is a scathing attack on how we (just about every country in the world) handles schizophrenia and also how often the families bear not only the brunt of damage from the person with the disease, but then also cops blame from health professionals whose theories are that this was caused by the home environment.
I believe that theory is now falling out of favour, but too recently for people to not at some point experience the negative, 'blaming' attitude.
Her descriptions of her son's medical history as well as his deterioration are harrowing and unfortunately familiar, when I read your story. The problems are - the civil rights laws are interpreted too liberally in favour of the individual, to the detriment of tat individual when what they really need is medical treatment. They are given the right to refuse the very medical treatment that could in many cases save not only their lives, but also lives of others (or at the very least, a lot of pain in others).
An interesting point made in the book - a longitudinal study done, showed that the majority of people with schizophrenia were able to live a useful, productive, functioning life in society, by the time they were in their 40s or older. It seemed that this disease, which so often begins to manifest in mid-teens, is at its worst during those earlier years when teen rebellion is added to the mix. Not tat the symptoms are caused by teen rebellion, but that it makes it a lot harder to get the teen on-side and say, "It's OK, we know how to help you," especially when early attempts at help are not immediately beneficial. The message the person gets, is tat the family are trying to have him locked up and that they're all out to get him. If the teen is having altered reality and hallucinations, couple this with a belief that his own family is trying to do him harm, and you have a recipe for disaster and a situation where civil rights have to be tempered with, "How do we help save this person?"
Also too often, civil rights are considered for the person with schizophrenia, at the cost of the family members whose civil rights are being constantly eroded through having to be the only ones left holding the bag (because correction facilities pass the buck to the hospitals, hospitals pass the buck to the family or the psychiatrists; psychiatrists pass the buck back to the family and say, "It's your fault.")
My understanding from this book, on the best way to cope - you are doing it, by refusing to accept this buck being passed back to you.
If all that is wrong with your son, is drug addiction (and I know it is a big 'all') then you still need his cooperation to get clean. But if it's schizophrenia as well, coming off drugs is only going to be part of the solution; and again, if it's done without his cooperation, it won't last. The trouble is, he could be clean and off the drugs but still dealing with schizophrenia and all it entails.
You mentioned that he finds things funny - Anne Deveson's son would giggle all the time apparently over nothing. The form of schizophrenia that was diagnosed apparently features this frequent inappropriate laughter. However despite this, he was consumed by fear - terror. At times he believed his mother was trying to kill him and would randomly attack her. She could get no protection - if she called the police they would say, "We can't get there for a few hours." That happened on one occasion when he was in her kitchen, holding a knife, and saying, "I have to kill you."
"Sorry, lady, we'll get there as soon as we can but we've got a lot on at the moment. It'll be about four hours."
Then the police would arrive and refuse to transport him to the hospital because the hospital would refuse to take him - they didn't have enough beds and he was too dangerous. So they would let him go!
It's really nasty, having to live with this. The longer the family tries to hold things together and pretend there is not a problem, the longer it takes for help to be provided and the greater the risk of someone getting seriously hurt (or worse).
The long-term prognosis is apparently a lot better than used to be thought. But you have to get there, and get good support in the meantime.
and you use whatever you can, to get treatment for the person. If you can't get him treated any other way, then prison it has to be.
Schizophrenia is itself not fully hereditary - there have been cases of identical twins where one has it and the other does not. But if you have a family member with it, your chances are greatly increased.
Hang in there, stay safe. Protect difficult child 2 - he needs to know you will do your utmost for him. And for his mother.
Marg
