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Update on difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 646619" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Thanks to you all for your kind and wise replies.</p><p></p><p>Here are some things I am continuing to think on, pray on and work to claim completely:</p><p></p><p>1. I cannot know what is best for another person. Even if it seems 100 percent clear to me. That's because any action, decision, step on the path may be THE necessary step that person needs to take, to get to another better place. </p><p></p><p>2. I cannot know how things will turn out. Even if it seems 100 percent clear to me. How could I possibly know who another person should be with, how it will all turn out and what is in another person's heart? </p><p></p><p>3. People are messy, chaotic and complicated. There is no such thing as a person who completely has their act together. Some appear to, but when you look more closely, you find that they have "stuff" too. Our difficult children wear their stuff on the outside for all to see but they are just like everybody else. IT IS NEVER GOING TO BE PERFECT. I capitalize that because I have to continue to claim that truth---I used to think my difficult child would graduate from college, get a great, challenging, well-paying job, settle down with a wonderful girl, have 2.5 children...you get the picture. I truly expected that. Nothing less would suffice. Wow, was I dumb. People are who they are and people are so very human.</p><p></p><p>4. Most of what happens with my own children is none of my business. They are both grown men---of legal age---and I have to let them go. </p><p></p><p>5. Silence and waiting and quiet are my best friends. More happens inside me when I am able to do these things, and the space and distance that is created gives other people a chance to live their own lives without my interference. Most everything does not need action RIGHT NOW. This is a complete 180 from who I used to be---the Queen of Action. </p><p></p><p>Life goes on. People do what they do. It is what it is. There can be peace without everything being perfect or even desirable. Who woulda thunk it? It's true.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 646619, member: 17542"] Thanks to you all for your kind and wise replies. Here are some things I am continuing to think on, pray on and work to claim completely: 1. I cannot know what is best for another person. Even if it seems 100 percent clear to me. That's because any action, decision, step on the path may be THE necessary step that person needs to take, to get to another better place. 2. I cannot know how things will turn out. Even if it seems 100 percent clear to me. How could I possibly know who another person should be with, how it will all turn out and what is in another person's heart? 3. People are messy, chaotic and complicated. There is no such thing as a person who completely has their act together. Some appear to, but when you look more closely, you find that they have "stuff" too. Our difficult children wear their stuff on the outside for all to see but they are just like everybody else. IT IS NEVER GOING TO BE PERFECT. I capitalize that because I have to continue to claim that truth---I used to think my difficult child would graduate from college, get a great, challenging, well-paying job, settle down with a wonderful girl, have 2.5 children...you get the picture. I truly expected that. Nothing less would suffice. Wow, was I dumb. People are who they are and people are so very human. 4. Most of what happens with my own children is none of my business. They are both grown men---of legal age---and I have to let them go. 5. Silence and waiting and quiet are my best friends. More happens inside me when I am able to do these things, and the space and distance that is created gives other people a chance to live their own lives without my interference. Most everything does not need action RIGHT NOW. This is a complete 180 from who I used to be---the Queen of Action. Life goes on. People do what they do. It is what it is. There can be peace without everything being perfect or even desirable. Who woulda thunk it? It's true. [/QUOTE]
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