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Parent Emeritus
update on Difficult Child
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 665449" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>My son left our town a couple of weeks ago. In my time, it feels like two months. To have the physical distance of 3 hours train ride, is immeasurably reassuring. He has called once, instead of every day.</p><p></p><p>Even my anxiety over his illness and the medicine is receding. I am not waking up with my first seconds of consciousness dread...and the desire to return to sleep. I am able to see that the "wanting to die" feeling that I would get came from the feeling I could not escape the cycle of emotions to which I was subjected without the sense I had control.</p><p></p><p>I know now the cost to me of any lapse in boundaries. If my son were to return to my town as he has been I will leave before I submit myself.</p><p></p><p>COM, your detailing of what happens to our bruised and battered psyches is exactly so.</p><p>For me, the settling down of emotion only comes "out of sight, out of mind." I do not think this is acceptance. I think it is "ignorance is bliss." I will build on it.</p><p></p><p>The thing is we have no control. To insist they live their lives in a way that we can stand it. While I can understand that intellectually, it is still very difficult for me to accept.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for sharing, COM. One more way I do not feel alone with this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 665449, member: 18958"] My son left our town a couple of weeks ago. In my time, it feels like two months. To have the physical distance of 3 hours train ride, is immeasurably reassuring. He has called once, instead of every day. Even my anxiety over his illness and the medicine is receding. I am not waking up with my first seconds of consciousness dread...and the desire to return to sleep. I am able to see that the "wanting to die" feeling that I would get came from the feeling I could not escape the cycle of emotions to which I was subjected without the sense I had control. I know now the cost to me of any lapse in boundaries. If my son were to return to my town as he has been I will leave before I submit myself. COM, your detailing of what happens to our bruised and battered psyches is exactly so. For me, the settling down of emotion only comes "out of sight, out of mind." I do not think this is acceptance. I think it is "ignorance is bliss." I will build on it. The thing is we have no control. To insist they live their lives in a way that we can stand it. While I can understand that intellectually, it is still very difficult for me to accept. Thank you for sharing, COM. One more way I do not feel alone with this. [/QUOTE]
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