update on Difficult Child

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Childofmine, Nov 19, 2015.

  1. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    Difficult Child was scheduled to have surgery yesterday for hemorrhoids, which have plagued him for years. He was to come back to my house to stay for a few days to recuperate. I was a bit nervous about that but of course I wanted him to be here.

    Right before he was to go into surgery, the surgeon came in and said his liver function tests were abnormal to the point that they cancelled the surgery and admitted him to the hospital.

    They did an ultrasound which was normal and repeated and more extensive blood work.

    This morning they came in to say he has Hepatitis C.

    They asked him repeatedly yesterday about any IV drug use and alcohol use. He says he has never done IV drugs and drinks a 6 pack a week. I wasn't sure about that at all as I was listening to him, and by 5 p.m. yesterday, having been there all day, I had to go home for a while. I was becoming a bit crazy.

    My ex-husband I texted back and forth, and concluded that we believe him about the IV drugs. Then Difficult Child called to tell me last night that he believes it happened this summer when he got a tattoo at someone's apartment, not in a "legitimate" tattoo shop. The doctor agreed with that this morning and said it is consistent with the fact that blood work this summer was normal and now it's not.

    In any event, I kept telling myself it doesn't matter how it happened, but it did, and now it is what it is.

    I have spent yesterday, last night on the phone and all day today working really hard to reassure him. I am exhausted.

    I feel heavy and overwhelmed by this. I am working hard to let go. Breathe in---taking in mercy. Breathe out---let go.

    I can't do a thing about this. I am powerless but I am not helpless. I must let go and feel my feelings but not start running around reacting (I used to be GREAT at that!! : ) I am going to take a nap right now and later go to class. Difficult Child is coming over to watch football and we are going to make a pizza.

    I'm working on living in this moment and not awfulizing the future. It's in God's hands, and not mine.

    Just wanted to share with you all. It's always something, isn't it? Warm hugs this afternoon to all of us great Warrior Moms on this forum and on this site.
  2. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member


    I am SHOCKED that my daughter never got any diseases as an IV user. She got lucky - real lucky!!

    I think I read that Pamela Anderson recently beat Hep C - admittedly I have barely any knowledge about it - but it is treatable, right?
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  3. blackgnat

    blackgnat Active Member

    Child, I just wanted to offer my virtual support as you go through yet another episode with your son.

    I'm amazed that any of us get out of bed in the morning. As with my Difficult Child, at least you know that he is under medical care and will hopefully get what he needs to restore himself to good health.

    Thinking of you and sending hugs...
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  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry, COM. I have heard that Hep. C is now treatable, but or controllable. Hopefully your son will comply with doctors.
    Prayers for your entire family.
  5. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Geez COM when it rains it pours. So sorry, for this development. Camels back-add another straw. Shucks, life can throw stuff at us.
    It is a good thing that your son had blood tests. I read HepC can go asymptomatic and linger for years.
    My sister and law had it, and was successfully treated.
    Will be praying the same goes for your son.
    You are right, no sense awfullizing.
    Give it to God.
  6. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Oh COM, I am so sorry to hear this. The positive is that it has been diagnosed and now can be treated.

    ((HUGS)) to you...........

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  7. Kalahou

    Kalahou Active Member

    Child, Sending best thoughts your way for comfort and peace in this situaion,and believing that all works together for good. You are such a presence of sowing wisdom and support here. May you reap a harvest of it back for yourself. Love and prayers.
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  8. Hopeful97

    Hopeful97 Active Member

    Hugs and Prayers
  9. Carolita2

    Carolita2 Member

    Sorry to hear of about this new situation with the hep C..Unfortunate way to have gotten it..Makes one winder about the safety of the tattoo industry and how one could protect oneself there as,so many are into getting tatoos.
    How is he taking it? My son and his girlfriend both have hep C..they don't have any symptoms and it is not currently creating a problem for them. Unfortunately no health care so no treatment as yet..but I am hopeful that one day they will get it..healthcare and treatment. We are fortunate that treatment has improved for this..
    Hope you get some rest..
  10. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    Thanks to you all. I think we are both in a state of shock today but tomorrow will be better.

    If you are going to have something, this isn't the worst thing in the world to have. Reading about it on the Internet is...upsetting. It appears that Hep C can manifest differently in different people so it's hard to understand the course of the disease, prognosis, dangers, etc.

    There is a cure now, but it's very expensive and not readily available so the Dr. said my son would have to pursue it and it would likely take a long time, lots of compliance, paperwork, etc.

    They are not going to put him on any treatment right now but will monitor him routinely. He is going to have to go to the doctor and comply so we'll see.

    I am trying to see how this can work for good. I'm glad he knows and it could have gone undetected for a long time so that's good to know. Once you know, you can deal.

    thanks for all of your support and encouragement. It's invaluable.
  11. nlj

    nlj Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to read about this latest challenge COM. I agree that it's best to know and deal with it as if left undetected for a long time then it can cause liver damage. I think Hep C is very treatable these days and most people will be cured. It wouldn't be left untreated here I don't think. I'm not familiar with how things work in the US of course. I think one of the things your son should consider is how he can prevent this being passed on to someone else. Thinking of other people can be challenging for our troubled children I know!

    I'm not sure what to say about his claims that he has never injected drugs, as this is by far the most common way of getting Hep C. I think in the UK that it's regarded as close to being the only way, other than sharing a razor or toothbrush contaminated with blood, with someone who is infected maybe.

    But that's a separate issue I suppose.

    You seem to be dealing with this latest blow with your usual strength.

    I agree that 'tomorrow will be better'.

    LucyJ x
  12. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    Thank you Lucy...I spent a lot of time Wednesday obsessing about how he might have contracted something I didn't even know he had for sure yet.

    He could have done IV drugs and just isn't going to tell anybody.

    The old me would have gone nuts until I knew 100 percent how it happened. That is my need to control the uncontrollable.

    I went back to my old ways of thinking for a while but I kept a lid on my behavior for the most part.

    Yesterday I realized it doesn't matter how he got it.

    I am choosing to believe him but I also know I will never know and really don't need to know the extent of his activities.

    Anyway...you get what I mean. There is treatment for this---interferon---but that won't cure it and in his current state with the illness no treatment is indicated. There are many side effects with interferon.

    I am working to just go slow and take one step at a time. He is going to need to do a lot of new things and he needs time to assimilate that and start moving forward. I will be supportive and encouraging but I can't do it for him and I won't do it for him.

    Another day in the life...thanks for your kind words. I didn't feel so strong the last couple of days but I am better today. I hope you are well.
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Contaminated tattoo needles is another documented way to get Hep C. It can also happen with piercings. Anything where an instrument is used to pierce the skin, is a potential source for infection with blood-born conditions. Licensed operators are supposed to follow strict sterilization procedures, and most do, but there will always be some who cut corners. And then of course there are the unlicensed and "do it yourself" situations.

    So while COM has no way to know if the story is true or not, it is definitely a known source, which is why the doctor accepted the story.
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  14. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry to read this news, CoM. Having a Difficult Child with chonic health issues can be a frustrating and confusing situation as a parent, and it certainly complicates the detachment process. I hope your son will comply with whatever treatment/lifestyle changes they recommend. Thinking of you.
  15. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    The sad thing is that there are 2 new drugs that will clear up Hep C in 12 weeks with minimal to no side effects.

    The problem is that these drugs cost about 300K dollars a course. Interferon works, is expensive also, and has horrible side effects.

    Right now, it isn't important HOW he got the disease. What is important is that he comply with treatment requirements, and avoid ANYTHING which strains the liver at all.

    COM, I am so sorry this happened.I'd be absolutely frantic. My big concern right now is that it sounds like your son's disease is currently active. Hopefully, at the very least, treatment will knock it back to the point where his liver isn't being damaged.

    You and your son are in my thoughts.
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  16. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending you hugs COM, I'm sorry you are on this path now....you're using your tool box and it sounds like each day you are faring a little bit better. One moment at a time......our way of dealing with life here on this site......with each moment comes a tad more peace as we become accustomed to where we are now.....saying prayers for you, your son and your family......hang in there COM, we're here for you.......
  17. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    You are right. It doesn't matter in the least how he got it, now that he has it. It does matter that he knows he has an illness of this nature, and that it was discovered relatively quickly.

    One step at a time, COM.

    You are doing this.

  18. Sherril2000

    Sherril2000 Active Member

    I'm so sorry to hear this. There have been many advances in the treatment of Hepatitis C over the past few years. The antivirals available now are usually very effective. Most of all, I'm sorry for the worry and stress this is placing on you. Please remember to take care of YOU through all this!
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  19. SeekingStrength

    SeekingStrength Well-Known Member


    Hugs. I am reading along and am sorry to learn this. But, I do believe all the positive things about Hep C treatment.

    My mom was diagnosed with Hep B years ago. She is 83 and has episodes of weariness, but still going. It is not nearly the challenge to her that it was twenty years ago.

    Still, I wish you and your son did not have to deal with any of this.

  20. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about this latest development, COM. On the plus side, he is on top of it and is following the treatment recommended by just keeping an eye on it. I am so glad to read about how he is just generally caring about his life now! Getting his surgery, working toward becoming an electrician, being open and following his doctor's advice...what a joy, even in the midst of this latest challenge, just to see him looking forward!