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Update on Difficult Child
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 676671" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Thank you for the responses. He moved out tonight. Husband found him passed out on the floor again this morning. Since he has no job, he has no money to buy alcohol.</p><p></p><p>He searched the house to find a box I had very well hidden in the garage. He has been drinking for the past 2 days (he says) but I think it is more than that, given the quantity of what's missing and the usual clues he leaves. When I told him we thought he should get some support in his quit because searching the garage for hidden bottles is concerning, he scoffed and said, "Like your hiding place was all that great! I found it in like 5 seconds!"</p><p></p><p>Talking to him is like arguing with a 12-year-old, except I've been having those arguments for 10+ years. And yet he complains that we don't treat him like an adult.</p><p></p><p>So the usual conversation ensued once more, about whether he would be willing to go to AA, go to a counselor, go to a psychiatrist to get something to help with his depression and cravings.</p><p></p><p>And once again it is all OUR fault, because he is 23 and he just wants to live his life and have us stay out of it, and of course he doesn't NEED counseling, doesn't NEED medication and AA is a "cult."</p><p></p><p>I guess he just wants us to leave him alone so he can not work and drink our booze.</p><p></p><p>Husband and I should have walked away before we started screaming. We didn't. It all devolved into lots of screaming and ugliness from our end and the usual nitpicking about semantics from his end, rather than him taking responsibility for his actions.</p><p></p><p>The end result was that he packed his things and moved out, his choice, which we made very clear.</p><p></p><p>Within 1/2 hour he was texting to apologize, I suspect because he found out his new roomie doesn't have as good of cable or internet as we have here. But he can't come back. I can't do this anymore.</p><p></p><p>I told him this is for the best; that we would cover tuition if he keeps his grades up but now he can live on his own and I am sure he will feel much less pressure. I told him we have all faith in him, that he can do it if he tries.</p><p></p><p>The saddest part of it, I think, is that all I feel right now is a profound sense of relief that he's not here in this house anymore. It was a mistake to let him come back here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 676671, member: 17720"] Thank you for the responses. He moved out tonight. Husband found him passed out on the floor again this morning. Since he has no job, he has no money to buy alcohol. He searched the house to find a box I had very well hidden in the garage. He has been drinking for the past 2 days (he says) but I think it is more than that, given the quantity of what's missing and the usual clues he leaves. When I told him we thought he should get some support in his quit because searching the garage for hidden bottles is concerning, he scoffed and said, "Like your hiding place was all that great! I found it in like 5 seconds!" Talking to him is like arguing with a 12-year-old, except I've been having those arguments for 10+ years. And yet he complains that we don't treat him like an adult. So the usual conversation ensued once more, about whether he would be willing to go to AA, go to a counselor, go to a psychiatrist to get something to help with his depression and cravings. And once again it is all OUR fault, because he is 23 and he just wants to live his life and have us stay out of it, and of course he doesn't NEED counseling, doesn't NEED medication and AA is a "cult." I guess he just wants us to leave him alone so he can not work and drink our booze. Husband and I should have walked away before we started screaming. We didn't. It all devolved into lots of screaming and ugliness from our end and the usual nitpicking about semantics from his end, rather than him taking responsibility for his actions. The end result was that he packed his things and moved out, his choice, which we made very clear. Within 1/2 hour he was texting to apologize, I suspect because he found out his new roomie doesn't have as good of cable or internet as we have here. But he can't come back. I can't do this anymore. I told him this is for the best; that we would cover tuition if he keeps his grades up but now he can live on his own and I am sure he will feel much less pressure. I told him we have all faith in him, that he can do it if he tries. The saddest part of it, I think, is that all I feel right now is a profound sense of relief that he's not here in this house anymore. It was a mistake to let him come back here. [/QUOTE]
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