update on incident and school visits.

[buddy]

Coordinator called, said she had to be the one to tour us... she is booked all three days (could have told me on Friday???) so Thurs we can go but Q is home that day so he has to come. I arranged for Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) to come so if they have to leave or go away they can.

psychiatric hasn't confirmed he can come though.



the incident at school..... only mr sp ed was called down. Principal and others were in the hall for an art exhibit. I said, do you get now ...that his going off that much, his saying that they are all coming to watch him etc... it was a huge trigger and if one person would have said that they are not there for him, they are there for the art exhibit (the world DOES revolve around Q after all, LOL). Mr sp ed said that he offered Q a cold water and Q was able to stop it all and got distracted by that... AMAZING what a little positive attention and switching the brain train tracks does, huh? But their spin will be... he could stop it in a second so it was all within his control. DUH I redirected THEM when they started on that road.

I dont think they will get his level of fear any time soon...and they created it. He used to love all of them so much.

 

[InsaneCdn]

The fear thing. Its not just Q.
difficult child went through that with bullies.
School doesn't get it. He "isn't" being bullied - for the most part, this is now correct - so they don't get where his behavior is coming from.

Finally - after years of this - ONE teacher gets it.
And in a school meeting, she says "yes, but... it has happened for so long that now he is paranoid".
And of course... coming from a teacher, it finally gets believed. (never from a parent, right?)

 

[buddy]

The fear thing. Its not just Q.
difficult child went through that with bullies.
School doesn't get it. He "isn't" being bullied - for the most part, this is now correct - so they don't get where his behavior is coming from.

Finally - after years of this - ONE teacher gets it.
And in a school meeting, she says "yes, but... it has happened for so long that now he is paranoid".
And of course... coming from a teacher, it finally gets believed. (never from a parent, right?)

EXACTLY and I have to dumb down anything I want to say it seems.... like they almost get defensive if I know anything. Really like dating, LOL

 

[klmno]

I apologize but I'm lost at what is going on because I've been in PO drama lately but if you are having to change difficult child's sd, maybe it''s a good thing he will be touring with you. ((HUGS)) I'll try to catch up over the next few days.

 

[buddy]

You might want to get drunk first, LOL

 

[buddy]

Just got word I can get gas reimbursement for sure for the therapy appointments. That is good news. (30 cents or so per mile for related drivers....crazy, but it is something) Crazy thing is he is eligible for transport, I have used it before for regularly scheduled appointments and schooling when he was little (like autism therapy program) and they get paid like 16 dollars a mile! You would think they would pay standard mileage rates to encourage parents to drive, but oh well.

 

[TeDo]

You should feel honored. I only get reimbursed 20 cents a mile. I'd feel rich if I got even 30. Wow.

 

[buddy]

maybe the girl was wrong? Thru his waiver it is .55 for anyone who drives BUT me.

 

[Steely]

So in a summary between the last 2 posts, the EBT school is now dragging their feet in getting you in for a second visit? And if so, do you think that it is because of the School he is in saying "things" about Q?
You know you are in my thoughts daily -- hugs and much love.

 

[buddy]

Steely, I dont know... Both times this director finally got back to me were after I sent an email to the spec. ed coordinator and cc'd the director. It makes me wonder if she is just bad at follow thru and in that case this could be another huge red flag for this school.

the parent who talked to my advocate about her son who is in the EBD sr. high side said that they are getting six more weeks then that is it... they are out of there. YIKES is all I can say. He sounds like a kid with multiple issues too. NOt autism but Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), Anxiety, PTSD. She told the advocate that if there is a program there she has no clue and wish her son was in it.... I am sure most parents really only see the non verbal kids because they are pretty obviously different than the rest of the school but the two SUN2 kids silently go back adn forth and spend most time in their classes.

I will take Q on Thursday with his Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker so if he gets overwhelmed he can go hang out with him outside on the play ground or something. That IS a cool thing... most middle school and seniors dont get a play ground but some still need it Know what I mean??

I am filling out the thousand (ok not that big) page intake form for the private school. It is therapeutic but a school so his tuition is paid fully by MA if he is appropriate for the school and if he is accepted (only twenty kids per grade). They did say that they take kids with dual diagnosis. His learning style and most obnoxious behaviors are very much like other kids with autism. They do use ABA but not stand alone... they use other therapies and have Occupational Therapist (OT), SL and other therapies.. he would be one on one all day within a class... THAT is different. Right now in his school they switch around the paras and each has their own style and it is quite inconsistent. When he had the one behavior aid when she was training hte others , the data was totally different.

I might hate it but I need to apply for everything... It is year round and so he woudl start summer if he gets picked and it feels right. His insurance covers it 100%... we would have to stop the other s/l ad Occupational Therapist (OT) because insurance would only pay for one place but he would have it daily.

 

[InsaneCdn]

In other words, you don't really have a funding issue. You have a placement issue... finding the right school for Q. It helps to not have to fight both battles at the same time...

SOME of that board juju has to be helping... <wink>
You're sounding a little more "together".

 

[TeDo]

I agree with Insane. YOU are sounding better. This private school does sound wonderful and FREE (for you anyway). Did you take a full tour of the place?

 

[buddy]

Not yet, but did see a video with interviews and like I said, it could be not great....but I have talked to parents out of the setting while in waiting rooms on and off for a year... kind of dismissed it thinking no way I could afford it. then I thought I wonder if they are like the autism program Q went to for early childhood??? so I called and sure enough.... they do full academics but since that has never been the priority for Q I am really not concerned. I am told they do get the same diplomas and can even go thru grad. with their home school classes. Services go through transition age at 21. Again, it is small groups and his odds are small but I will do my work in case. I can apply over and over to see what happens.

In the mean time I keep up the fight. One day with not talking to anyone about anything awful for Q has helped me to calm down... I can handle a big issue usually but all these little fires that keep popping up while dealing with the big deal (principal and school choice) really was wearing on me... so until conferences tomorrow night (which I already reminded her I want to be a typical parenting moment... just looking at school work, no IEP talk, no admin, no specialists and she has always honored that so hoping)
I will just enjoy the relative calm.

Then Thurs we go see the school with Q... He has already informed me it is just a visit because he is going to be perfect from now on and I told him that was a great plan... uggg poor guy....

 

[lovelyboy]

Buddy, I missed the info on private school, but this sounds so much more 'right' that the other school....good they are waisting time....it buys you time!
Huggggsssss!!!!!
ps.....remember to be kind to yourself! You are doing a great job!!!!!

 

[susiestar]

The private school does sound great. I am glad you are feeling a bet less harried and stressed. (((((hugs)))))

 

[Ktllc]

Buddy, I'm glad to hear you were able to get a day off. Not that things aren't in motion, but sometimes it is good to just stop a minute and take some time to breath.
I'm crossing my fingers for both schools: this way you might get to choose (and not go by what is less bad, Know what I mean?).