KATES_MOM
New Member
It has been quite awhile since I updated on Kate. She came home from Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) stay in June. We had home based family therapy going. The deal was befor she came home ZERO tolerance of any physical abuse or Kate would have to leave again. Things went well for awhile I guess about Sept. 1st she started slipping becoming agitated and slipping in her moods. Well eventually she hit! I told her she would have to leave, she called her dad and he came to get her, on Sept. 26th. This is where she lives now. I have begged him for years to help me with her, he never would. But finally he has stepped up.
I am not saying he is doing things the way I would but she is still there. He has threatened to make her leave sevral times.
He also told her she didnt have to do therapy or medications anymore. So she doesnt! She really doesnt talk much to me, only when she needs something. I have started therapy( advice form Kate's psychiatrist) I have been working on letting go, which is hard.
I will never totally let go, but I have to let go enough to let her make her own choices and reap her own consequenses.
I worry constantly about her well being. But am also learning
alot about worry, and what it has done to me. At this point Kate thinks the sun rises and sets on her dad. She does have conflicts with him often, and tries to bring me into it. I shut it right down. I tell her this is between you and your dad. But I do tell her if there is a concern that has direct ties to her then I am here to listen. I try very hard not to get drawn into her web. She knows I love her very much, and that I wish we could have a relationship with-o so many disagreements. I am here for her on her side pulling for her. But at the same time she knows I will not tollerate her abusive behaviors to me or anyone in my home. I have set boundries, and I dont dare let her cross over them ever. Not even once or this could be a huge set back for us both. She will be 16 in June. I wish I could have her until she is of age to move out on her own, but she choose not to have this with me. I have to learn to deal with that.
I have gotten to this point after realizing I have exhausted every avenue with Kate. I have pulled resourses from out of corners, we have seen every child psychiatrist in our county, she has had numerous programs, out and in patient, even support in school.I have no where else to turn.Everything I have tried in the past has not worked even the 18 diff. medications tried on her.
So " if it hasnt been working try something diff."
Instead of always coming thru the front door to help her I am now using the back door approach. Which is hard and often takes alot of thought, its a real diff. way of thinking and acting. For some this comes easy, but for me, its really hard. But I am making it. I pray to God every night to wrap himself around her like a cacoon, to protect her, & keep her alive, safe , and well.
For now I rely on this. Its all I have at this point.
Thanks for the ears. Hope everyone here is as well as expected.
I will read through some post to catch up on whats going on now. Thanks again, Kathy>> Kate'smom
I am not saying he is doing things the way I would but she is still there. He has threatened to make her leave sevral times.
He also told her she didnt have to do therapy or medications anymore. So she doesnt! She really doesnt talk much to me, only when she needs something. I have started therapy( advice form Kate's psychiatrist) I have been working on letting go, which is hard.
I will never totally let go, but I have to let go enough to let her make her own choices and reap her own consequenses.
I worry constantly about her well being. But am also learning
alot about worry, and what it has done to me. At this point Kate thinks the sun rises and sets on her dad. She does have conflicts with him often, and tries to bring me into it. I shut it right down. I tell her this is between you and your dad. But I do tell her if there is a concern that has direct ties to her then I am here to listen. I try very hard not to get drawn into her web. She knows I love her very much, and that I wish we could have a relationship with-o so many disagreements. I am here for her on her side pulling for her. But at the same time she knows I will not tollerate her abusive behaviors to me or anyone in my home. I have set boundries, and I dont dare let her cross over them ever. Not even once or this could be a huge set back for us both. She will be 16 in June. I wish I could have her until she is of age to move out on her own, but she choose not to have this with me. I have to learn to deal with that.
I have gotten to this point after realizing I have exhausted every avenue with Kate. I have pulled resourses from out of corners, we have seen every child psychiatrist in our county, she has had numerous programs, out and in patient, even support in school.I have no where else to turn.Everything I have tried in the past has not worked even the 18 diff. medications tried on her.
So " if it hasnt been working try something diff."
Instead of always coming thru the front door to help her I am now using the back door approach. Which is hard and often takes alot of thought, its a real diff. way of thinking and acting. For some this comes easy, but for me, its really hard. But I am making it. I pray to God every night to wrap himself around her like a cacoon, to protect her, & keep her alive, safe , and well.
For now I rely on this. Its all I have at this point.
Thanks for the ears. Hope everyone here is as well as expected.
I will read through some post to catch up on whats going on now. Thanks again, Kathy>> Kate'smom
