So....to recap, my cousin M and her future ex A had an "incident" in which A lost his ever loving mind, tried to beat up his bro in law, tried to SHOOT said bro in law and almost shot my cousin. Currently: The dent in the hood of M's van from A's head when the police slammed him down to arrest him has just about disappeared. The blood hasn't completely come off though. *snort* A is, obviously, still in jail and it doesn't appear that anyone will be able or willing to bail him out. He has 5, count 'em FIVE, FE LO NY charges against him and is going to do some time. M is doing ok. She has her moments of course and is bouncing around between sad, mad and in between. A still has a no contact order between M and the two younger kids but his family keeps her updated. (While A is still their loved one, they are firmly on M's side so that's not a worry) But, because of this, M has been unable to yell at A. So she told me she wrote him a letter and basically let loose. She hasn't gotten it to him because of the order but probably will once it's a moot point. She told one of her sis in law's what she wrote and sister in law said that the letter pretty much answered all of the questions A had. According to sister in law, A "pretty much realizes he'll be getting a divorce". (Heh...you think?) The divorce lawyer has been hired and should be doing the initial paperwork this week. M doesn't anticipate any problems seeing as how A is in jail and will be in jail/prison and has no way/reason to fight anything. Of course the down side is that she won't be getting any child support but she is looking for a full time job and has applied for what she can. Currently she does hair and has a part time job at her church as a bookkeeper. M, her best friend for 30 years, her sister in law and I went out Saturday night. We had a ball, M got appropriately snockered (2 1/2 drinks), we had a ball and she was able to blow off some steam. I went back to her house for a bit after and visited with her and her dogs. She has a boxer, a boxer beagle mix and a mini little thing the size of my foot that is a mix of so many things, the vet calls him a poo wu-wu (poo being a polite word). I'm so glad I did....the boxer's are both the sweetest things.....because her full boxer died last night. Her middle son had a melt down (upset) about it but that was a good thing in the end. He hasn't really shown much emotion about "that night" so M thinks the meltdown was both for his dad and the dog. So....things are progressing in many ways. I know she's still dealing with the reality of it all and has financial worries but....she seems to be doing ok. She's making sure the boys are ok and the rest of us are making sure SHE'S ok. I want to thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers when I originally posted....Hound is right. Family!