Update on my daughter........and.......life......

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by recoveringenabler, Jul 13, 2014.

  1. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    OK folks, the plot has not thickened as usual but lightened up and loosened up........go figure.........

    My daughter has continued improving daily. She has calmed down and is getting her priorities straight. She has a job as a bookkeeper about 20 hours a week with more hours coming as she sets up QuickBooks for the owner. Just today she started another job as a server in a local restaurant. She will get her hours this week. It will likely be weekends, it is their busy season. She is also signed up with a catering service. So, the job situation has resolved, she will be earning more then enough to pay for her own life, with probably close to 40 hours per week.

    She just got back a little while ago to tell us she found a room to stay in. It is with 3 men she knows well. She has the upstairs room and shares one bath with one guy. These are all older guys who all work, have kids, are regular guys. The interesting thing is her new digs are literally across a vineyard away from her job as a bookkeeper, so she can walk to work.

    She is going to have her car towed off of my property this week and she found another guy who will work on it and fix it within her financial parameters. In fact, he is friends with the 3 new roommates and works on their cars. He diagnosed the issues and can repair them easily.

    She has been regularly going to my acupuncturist, taking herbs which she says are helping. She has been sleeping well and eating well. Today, for the first time in literally years, when she called me after work to tell me she was going to talk to a friend about a room, her voice was excited, enthusiastic and happy, the way she said, "Mom?" at the beginning of the phone call, had that buoyancy and joy in it that I haven't heard in 14 years, since her husband died.

    Last night when she got the other job was the first time I allowed myself to really think, 'she is going to make it.' She watched a movie with us and it was a "normal" family evening, with my granddaughter baking cupcakes, watching "Gravity" and just hanging out. But, today, after hearing that she found a place to live and her excitement about it and her knowledge that she can, on her own, afford this place, was a turning point for me. She's changed. I've changed. The situation has changed.

    On Friday my SO and I decided to purchase a home together. We met with a realtor and began that process. And, we decided to get married earlier then originally planned. Last night my granddaughter asked if she can leave for college 5 days early to take advantage of an early program the dorm and college offer. We will drive down with her (she has her own car now.......it's about 6 hours south) and stay there a few days, to just relax. My SO and I just booked a 2 week trip to Kauai (our favorite place on the planet) in October which looks like it may be perfect timing for a belated honeymoon and a celebration (if all works out well) of our newly purchased home.

    This weekend brought so many changes........I am still reeling a little bit, but in a really wonderful way. We are ALL moving forward now, each one of us, to a different life, where we are connected and yet separate........except for my SO and I, we're very connected and tight........... we look forward to sharing our new life in our new home...........just the two of us.............(well at least until the holidays when our college girl will be home!)

    It's a new day.
     
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  2. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    :bpotd:
     
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  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    /This is an amazing post and such wonderful news. Sounds like she is finally tired of her old life and wants to move onto normal!!!! KUDOS to her and many good thoughts to you!!!!!
     
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  4. Echolette

    Echolette Well-Known Member

    Wow wow wow! Your comment about your daughter's voice when she said "mom?" brought tears to my eyes. What a long long journey of loss for her. I'm so happy she is finding a little joy.

    And you and SO buying a house, getting married, making honey moon plans! How wonderful! I feel like you shook a snow globe and all the snow whirled around then settled down beautifully, revealing all the grace of the situation within.

    Blessings upon you and yours tonight, Recovering, our warrior friend. I am so happy for you.

    Echo
     
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  5. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    RE I am so happy just reading your post! This is all so wonderful and I hear "healthy behavior" in every line.

    I am so glad for you. Warm hugs tonight.

    Lean in RE you deserve to bask in the glow of this all.
     
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  6. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    So glad for you, Recovering! It's been a long hard journey for everyone in your family. It's so nice to hear happy stories!
     
  7. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks everyone.

    She has been texting me continuously with pictures of her new place, it is really nice, fruit trees, lots of acreage, gardens and her room is very large, with windows overlooking the beautiful gardens. It is lovely and I am so happy for her. Her enthusiasm and joy is something I had not believed I would see and hear again, it is a very special time for all of us...........thank you all for sharing this journey with me................. from where we were, to where we are..............:happy-very:
     
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  8. nlj

    nlj Well-Known Member

    Lovely post.
    So happy for you.

    "Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas any more." :)

    Hope your yellow brick road leads to some good new beginnings.
     
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  9. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    RE, I am so glad to hear this. What wonderful news to come back to after my latest hiatus. Many hugs my friend.

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  10. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    So happy for you, Recovering. You've worked so sincerely to change the relationship between your grown child and yourself, but who could have predicted this happy outcome!

    I am so pleased for you!

    :O)

    Cedar
     
  11. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Happy dance:jumping:
     
  12. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    RE,

    Burn your hairshirt!! LOL

    Seriously! This is simply the best post so far. May I wish you and SO many, many blessings for your impending marriage and new home, and the continuation of many graces being showered upon your daughter and grand. You've "done the work" as they say - I'm brimming with joy for you all!
     
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  13. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    What a wonderful post! I'm so happy for you and all the family.

    Love, Esther
     
  14. amelia d

    amelia d Hope outweighs experience

    Happy for you!! Hope the joy continues:angel:
     
  15. blackgnat

    blackgnat Active Member

    I just got a little teary-eyed reading your post.

    For all the good you do on this site (and many other places, I suspect) this is your good karma come back to you. You deserve every moment of this happiness and I hope it continues and grows!

    So happy for you!
     
  16. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Congrats RE. Maybe, just maybe, the whole thing that happened with your daughter's husband just shook her so badly she couldnt find herself and it took this long to come back to center. I am so thrilled she has.
     
  17. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Wow! Congratulations


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  18. Albatross

    Albatross Well-Known Member

    What a fantastic read, RE. Her new place overlooking the fruit trees and the gardens sounds so peaceful and symbolic of a new start. I am so happy for her and for you. I too think this is a splendid example of what goes around comes around.
     
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