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Update on my daughter and what I hope to be her new life
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 530026" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Dear RE - </p><p></p><p>I saw this post yesterday and I thought to myself 'I KNEW she didn't cause the problem at her apartment! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!" I swear I think I even wrote that. lol. I'm glad for you. I'm thrilled for her. I'm astounded by the miracles in your lives as Mother and Daughter, but not surpised in the least. These kinds of things always give me the goosebumps - but in a good way. </p><p></p><p>You know that last little voice on the phone - the one that says "Don't give up on me like everyone else Mom?" Wow! I sat here and read that, and it literally took the breath right out of me. I mean I can't tell you how many times - How many, many times I've heard my son say that, and I think to myself - "well Star here we go again, and everyone is going to come at you from ALL sides and say 'OMGosh are you an IDIOT..or WELL you allowed him to do it to you again didn't you, or HE SVCKERED you again?, or HOW Many times do you need to be hit in the head before you realize what kind of a kid he is Star?" and It took me so many places in my past when I read that I think 20 minutes may have elasped before I came back to your post. Dejavu. Because the next thing you posted and how you felt about what YOU were feeling at THAT very moment and how you reacted? I sat here and thought - OH LORD she didn't. Did she- It was like being frozen in your chair thinking - Well you'd better read it - I don't know should I - Did she? What would I have done? Well I know what I would have done because I have done it - and then had to hear about it - but you know what RE? I'm all he has - In this whole, horrible, stinking world. I'm it. I'm THE only one that has never EVER let him down, always been there for him no matter what....and never turned my back on him......not really. I've thrown him out - to save myself, I've detached from his problems to keep my sanity. I've allowed him to grow up and become a man, and solve his own problems - which I feel are worlds apart from solving his problems......but everyone needs a hand UP sometime. And that hand - just like yours has been mine. </p><p></p><p>The times I've picked to help my kid? Havent' all panned out to be the way I thought it would be.....and I've gotten a lot better at detaching from what I know to be helping and enabling. So I'm very happy to read how you explained your life and your assistance....because there IS a good time to lend our kids a hand - When they are willing to help themselves. And when they are not - When they want us to do it all FOR them. Knowing the difference and knowing when we can do those things....for them - and at what age and time in their life - sure makes you feel a lot better about YOURSELF doesn't it? </p><p></p><p>Well good on you and GOOD on your kid. And great for the cats. WOW - I hope someday to hear that she's bounced all the way back to how you remember her...I think when she starts living her life for HERSELF? It's going to be a more beautiful day than anyone imagined. </p><p></p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 530026, member: 4964"] Dear RE - I saw this post yesterday and I thought to myself 'I KNEW she didn't cause the problem at her apartment! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!" I swear I think I even wrote that. lol. I'm glad for you. I'm thrilled for her. I'm astounded by the miracles in your lives as Mother and Daughter, but not surpised in the least. These kinds of things always give me the goosebumps - but in a good way. You know that last little voice on the phone - the one that says "Don't give up on me like everyone else Mom?" Wow! I sat here and read that, and it literally took the breath right out of me. I mean I can't tell you how many times - How many, many times I've heard my son say that, and I think to myself - "well Star here we go again, and everyone is going to come at you from ALL sides and say 'OMGosh are you an IDIOT..or WELL you allowed him to do it to you again didn't you, or HE SVCKERED you again?, or HOW Many times do you need to be hit in the head before you realize what kind of a kid he is Star?" and It took me so many places in my past when I read that I think 20 minutes may have elasped before I came back to your post. Dejavu. Because the next thing you posted and how you felt about what YOU were feeling at THAT very moment and how you reacted? I sat here and thought - OH LORD she didn't. Did she- It was like being frozen in your chair thinking - Well you'd better read it - I don't know should I - Did she? What would I have done? Well I know what I would have done because I have done it - and then had to hear about it - but you know what RE? I'm all he has - In this whole, horrible, stinking world. I'm it. I'm THE only one that has never EVER let him down, always been there for him no matter what....and never turned my back on him......not really. I've thrown him out - to save myself, I've detached from his problems to keep my sanity. I've allowed him to grow up and become a man, and solve his own problems - which I feel are worlds apart from solving his problems......but everyone needs a hand UP sometime. And that hand - just like yours has been mine. The times I've picked to help my kid? Havent' all panned out to be the way I thought it would be.....and I've gotten a lot better at detaching from what I know to be helping and enabling. So I'm very happy to read how you explained your life and your assistance....because there IS a good time to lend our kids a hand - When they are willing to help themselves. And when they are not - When they want us to do it all FOR them. Knowing the difference and knowing when we can do those things....for them - and at what age and time in their life - sure makes you feel a lot better about YOURSELF doesn't it? Well good on you and GOOD on your kid. And great for the cats. WOW - I hope someday to hear that she's bounced all the way back to how you remember her...I think when she starts living her life for HERSELF? It's going to be a more beautiful day than anyone imagined. Hugs & Love Star [/QUOTE]
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