Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Update on my difficult child
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 599750" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Wow, I'm sorry that I didn't start reading this thread earlier. The "Update on difficult child" title totally snowed me. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> I thought it was a general update on GFGishness rather than such a poignant self-reflection upon the entirety of it all. I sat here and read every word, and want to start by saying "thank you" to you all, and especially Barbara & RE for sharing your thoughts and processes through this journey. </p><p></p><p>When I read and write about us and our long-ago children I feel so many emotions. Hope. Grief. Anger. Fear. Guilt. Weariness. </p><p></p><p>I am going from here to the Library's page to find the books by Frankl and Wiesel. From the time L was 5 until she was 14 I had a therapist who lost many family members in the Holocaust, and whose own parents had escaped Europe by the skin of their teeth. She told me that my history with L and her dad and stepmom were textbook right up to the point that they didn't exterminate me. Does that even make sense? I mean, I understand it, but so much of what we say about these things sound like we are absolutely <em>insane</em>. I'm not sure that I even know how to express it to someone who isn't "in the know" anymore. In any case, of course she was talking about PTSD. I know that Frankl and Wiesel can set an example for me of finding joy. How selfish I am that I have husband and my dogs and a nice home and new friends, and I spend my time lingering on something that is in the past and far away. I must learn to enjoy my life. </p><p></p><p>One more week until I see the therapist. One more week until I begin to find a way to pack all of the anger and hurt and grief away to a more appropriate place in my life. It shouldn't be up front. I know it will always be there, but it doesn't have to be something I think of multiple times every day and dream of throughout the night. It's over a year ago I walked away from it all. It's 2,500 miles away. I'm so ready. Everyone needs to keep good thoughts for me that I can find some work here, too. I have FAR TOO MUCH time on my hands.</p><p></p><p>I'm so proud of both of you for finding a way to leave your difficult child's drama behind you. RE, I know that this may not be possible, or even something you would consider, but is it possible that a move would make your home more your own? Not like me, so far away. But is it time to move to a different home? I lived so much hurt in my other homes, this one does not have that history. I don't think I could ever go back to those other homes. Just a thought.</p><p></p><p>Sorry for rambling. I self edited so much of what I have written. I just want you to know that I am proud of you and I understand.</p><p></p><p></p><p>PS - I did a search for the books mentioned here, and they are not available at any of our local libraries. I did pull out my copy of Miguel Ruiz' "Four Agreements". It should hold me over until my appointment, I hope.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 599750, member: 99"] Wow, I'm sorry that I didn't start reading this thread earlier. The "Update on difficult child" title totally snowed me. ;) I thought it was a general update on GFGishness rather than such a poignant self-reflection upon the entirety of it all. I sat here and read every word, and want to start by saying "thank you" to you all, and especially Barbara & RE for sharing your thoughts and processes through this journey. When I read and write about us and our long-ago children I feel so many emotions. Hope. Grief. Anger. Fear. Guilt. Weariness. I am going from here to the Library's page to find the books by Frankl and Wiesel. From the time L was 5 until she was 14 I had a therapist who lost many family members in the Holocaust, and whose own parents had escaped Europe by the skin of their teeth. She told me that my history with L and her dad and stepmom were textbook right up to the point that they didn't exterminate me. Does that even make sense? I mean, I understand it, but so much of what we say about these things sound like we are absolutely [I]insane[/I]. I'm not sure that I even know how to express it to someone who isn't "in the know" anymore. In any case, of course she was talking about PTSD. I know that Frankl and Wiesel can set an example for me of finding joy. How selfish I am that I have husband and my dogs and a nice home and new friends, and I spend my time lingering on something that is in the past and far away. I must learn to enjoy my life. One more week until I see the therapist. One more week until I begin to find a way to pack all of the anger and hurt and grief away to a more appropriate place in my life. It shouldn't be up front. I know it will always be there, but it doesn't have to be something I think of multiple times every day and dream of throughout the night. It's over a year ago I walked away from it all. It's 2,500 miles away. I'm so ready. Everyone needs to keep good thoughts for me that I can find some work here, too. I have FAR TOO MUCH time on my hands. I'm so proud of both of you for finding a way to leave your difficult child's drama behind you. RE, I know that this may not be possible, or even something you would consider, but is it possible that a move would make your home more your own? Not like me, so far away. But is it time to move to a different home? I lived so much hurt in my other homes, this one does not have that history. I don't think I could ever go back to those other homes. Just a thought. Sorry for rambling. I self edited so much of what I have written. I just want you to know that I am proud of you and I understand. PS - I did a search for the books mentioned here, and they are not available at any of our local libraries. I did pull out my copy of Miguel Ruiz' "Four Agreements". It should hold me over until my appointment, I hope. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Update on my difficult child
Top