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Update on my difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 625676" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>What an action to be able to take. You went, you bore witness, you kept quiet, and you left. That is amazing. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>RE, you are changing your family tree. You are affecting patterns set in place, perhaps for generations. You, because of your hard work on yourself, are showing love at its best. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I remember one time someone in Al-anon said this: "And then I finally stopped struggling against the disease." Struggling against. I have struggled against the disease for so long---about 10 years knowingly. First with my ex-husband, and now with my son. And the disease always wins. It is a 40-foot-tall monster that mows down and sucks up everything in its path. There is no way to win against this disease. We must move out of the way. It is the only way to survive. And then thrive, as you are doing, RE. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, this is acceptance. And even the next step---to bear witness and to watch her live her life. It is one thing to accept it at a distance---I am not even there yet. It is another to have her in your house and be at peace. What progress you have made, RE. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I think this is huge. Trust in myself. Learning to mind my own business. Learning how to find peace, joy, serenity on my own. Staying out of the way. Loving people just as they are, who they are. This is a lifelong work, I believe and I am grateful that I am on this journey because it is worth it. </p><p></p><p>Trust in the patterns of life. This is real life. This is real people. It's chaotic, messy, uncontrollable, up and down, moving all the time. Changing all the time. We are so used to the change being bad. The change can also be good. </p><p></p><p>We don't know what will happen with your daughter this time, RE. It doesn't matter. What does matter is today. Right now. This is all we have. You are staying present in this moment. </p><p></p><p>You are doing great! You are an inspiration. Keep telling us. Keep talking to us, RE. We can learn from this. And you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 625676, member: 17542"] What an action to be able to take. You went, you bore witness, you kept quiet, and you left. That is amazing. RE, you are changing your family tree. You are affecting patterns set in place, perhaps for generations. You, because of your hard work on yourself, are showing love at its best. I remember one time someone in Al-anon said this: "And then I finally stopped struggling against the disease." Struggling against. I have struggled against the disease for so long---about 10 years knowingly. First with my ex-husband, and now with my son. And the disease always wins. It is a 40-foot-tall monster that mows down and sucks up everything in its path. There is no way to win against this disease. We must move out of the way. It is the only way to survive. And then thrive, as you are doing, RE. Yes, this is acceptance. And even the next step---to bear witness and to watch her live her life. It is one thing to accept it at a distance---I am not even there yet. It is another to have her in your house and be at peace. What progress you have made, RE. I think this is huge. Trust in myself. Learning to mind my own business. Learning how to find peace, joy, serenity on my own. Staying out of the way. Loving people just as they are, who they are. This is a lifelong work, I believe and I am grateful that I am on this journey because it is worth it. Trust in the patterns of life. This is real life. This is real people. It's chaotic, messy, uncontrollable, up and down, moving all the time. Changing all the time. We are so used to the change being bad. The change can also be good. We don't know what will happen with your daughter this time, RE. It doesn't matter. What does matter is today. Right now. This is all we have. You are staying present in this moment. You are doing great! You are an inspiration. Keep telling us. Keep talking to us, RE. We can learn from this. And you. [/QUOTE]
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