Update on my Homeless Son

[nlj]

Hello Joy

I read your post with sadness, thinking about the many times I was in the same place as you are now. I never managed to sleep well, but I did stop the cycle of jumping whenever he was in a crisis. I stopped trying to fix it. I stopped listening to it all. Like you say, it's his choice. Like your son, mine also chose to follow a life that meant warm duvets, walls and a roof were outside his grasp. His choice. Not a life driven by drugs for him though, more a life driven by anger.

Things are a bit better with my son now Joy. We met at Christmastime and smiled and hugged. He has found his ex-girlfriend again, or she found him, fate maybe found them both. She is a good influence on him. They are still technically homeless and he still has no job and he still lives way outside of any normal conventionality and he still struggles to accept that he can't change everything that's wrong with the world. It overwhelms him. But he's doing okay. He's my son. I love him. I'm proud of him. He's intelligent and troubled. She loves him too. I love her for that.

None of this, the smiles and hugs, happened as a result of me jumping in to try and fix him.

It happened because I stopped.

Hang in there Joy.
The world turns.

Hugs to you. x

 

[Copabanana]

My son just tried to commit suicide 5 days ago

Lonnie, I am so sorry.

Why not think about starting your own thread so that you will get replies that address your particular situation.

Others of us have been in your place. I understand the impossibility of it all. My son has attempted suicide before and has been hospitalized. I did not want him here with me. While my heart was breaking.

Keep posting. It helps.

COPA

 

[New Leaf]

HI Joy, was out all day yesterday, so just catching up. Welcome to CD, this soft place has helped me keep my sanity for the last four months. You sound really, really strong. It is a rough road we are all on, our poor hearts..... Knowing that our d cs are really clever, helps. I often think now, boy, if they can tug at our heartstrings in such ways, they are smart enough to get and hold jobs, and live well. It is a choice, unfortunately their choice.

I keep saying to myself, "either he will make it, or he won't". The horrible truth is, I just want him to leave me alone. There. I said it.

Yup, that about says it for me, too. Well, at this point, LOL, still going through the ups and downs of it, and haven't been as thoroughly tested as you have. All those phone calls would drive me nuts!

I think it shakes them up a little if the mom who was always so worried, who was always saving them from the choices they made, suddenly starts seeing them differently ~ seeing them as strong, competent adults and saying so.

I agree.

Or, "We had hoped you would be done with this self-destructive stuff by now."

Thumbs up for this one, if my two, call, I will use this!

I love you too much to love you this way. I am your mother. You are breaking my heart. Stop it. Turn this around."

I like this one, too. It turns around the whole "poor me" thing. Joy, you are doing really, really well, all things considered. We are all definitely soldiers deserving badges, or something. Hard journeys for all of us. You are one tough cookie. Keep strong, and keep posting, it really helps.
(((Hugs)))
leafy