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Update on my note to dad...
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 205275"><p>My dad is similar in that it's always all about him, even when I was in the hospital with a heart attack. The difference is he is capable of love; he just doesn't know how to deal with it. So he doesn't. The other difference is I don't think my dad does it out of guilt. He's always looking for sympathy.</p><p></p><p>I tried for years to accept him as he is. Only meeting for lunch during the week so there was a designated start and end time, etc. That worked for a while. But, as life became more complicated for me and he turned it into all about him, I couldn't do it anymore. If he couldn't grow up and handle his part of the relationship, I wasn't interested. </p><p></p><p>Bottom line is, I was tired of being hurt again and again by his selfishness. </p><p></p><p>It sounds like you've come to terms with this and are at a good place. I think we expect our mother's to protect us more than our father's and it hurts a heck of a lot more when they let us down. I understand your anger there.</p><p></p><p>They've missed out on a lot. If they weren't so nasty to you, I'd almost feel sorry for them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 205275"] My dad is similar in that it's always all about him, even when I was in the hospital with a heart attack. The difference is he is capable of love; he just doesn't know how to deal with it. So he doesn't. The other difference is I don't think my dad does it out of guilt. He's always looking for sympathy. I tried for years to accept him as he is. Only meeting for lunch during the week so there was a designated start and end time, etc. That worked for a while. But, as life became more complicated for me and he turned it into all about him, I couldn't do it anymore. If he couldn't grow up and handle his part of the relationship, I wasn't interested. Bottom line is, I was tired of being hurt again and again by his selfishness. It sounds like you've come to terms with this and are at a good place. I think we expect our mother's to protect us more than our father's and it hurts a heck of a lot more when they let us down. I understand your anger there. They've missed out on a lot. If they weren't so nasty to you, I'd almost feel sorry for them. [/QUOTE]
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Update on my note to dad...
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